Gotta have a sense of humor!...m
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| Wed, 09-21-2005 - 9:58pm |
Hi Gang,
Okay, so I had to test the waters. As some of you know, I have known since before I ever separated from my husband that I had to lose some signifcant weight that I have gained over the last few years. I have started, but it will take a while. Doesn't magically disappear over night. And, as you also may know, I had my eye on one guy that I had a telephone relationship with for a while...but he knew I was still *unavailable* and we did not meet....I stopped the phone relationship and told him I would call when I was ready. Well, I have been sort of biting at the bit to find out just how bad I am. I mean, I know there are some guys who like a little weight on a woman....and I am lonely. So, I finally got up some nerve today and wanted to test the waters. I picked a guy that is older by several years and *not* that attractive at all...just to see what his response would be to an honest, recent (as good as it gets with me being pretty chubby) pic of mine. Well, now I know what I have to do! This guy has opened my emails at least half an hour prior and *still* no response! He does not like the pic! Imagine? Boy, OLD is tough. It's a good thing I have tough skin. LOL. I know I have to lose a lot more weight now. It was a litmus test, and I am sort of glad I did it! I mean, I would have chatted with the guy. I would have met him. He wasn't *bad*. Wow....what a reality check. I doubt he will even email me back going by this silence so far! LOL (By the way...I showed no pic on my profile and when I contacted him he asked for one right away. I expected that.) I know...I am bad.
Edited 9/21/2005 10:00 pm ET ET by saralm

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Honestly Sara why do you assume he didn't like you for your weight? Did he email you back and say that or is it just your assumption because he opened the email and hasn't responded???
I am on the bbw dating site, a site for men that like BBW women and I'll email guys that don't respond. It probably has nothing to do with my weight since they like big girls, it probably has to do with my profile, look or the type he is looking for. Who knows...why assume what anyone is "thinking"
Lose weight for yourself only, nobody else.
I haven't posted here before but had to chime in. Being on the upper side of the scale myself I tend to be very sensitive about OLD and ALWAYS assume it's because of size that a guy doesn't answer an email or call after a first meeting. I mentioned this to a friend one day and she responded "maybe it's your personality, your hair color, or your size 9 feet." Which made me laugh and realize that because I am so conscious of my size I assume that's what everyone else thinks of first too. Because I have confidence in my personality, my hair color, and even my feet, I never think I'm being rejected on those grounds!
So keep your chin up, keep trying OLD (if you want to date right now), and if you want to lose weight to be healthier - then do it, but don't do it for men!
Sara,
Who knows if that was even the reason - plenty of guys don't email me back either! Please don't be down on yourself about your weight. I bet there are plenty of guys out there that won't care at all - and some prefer bigger woman. Just keep winking and you will get responses I'm sure. Don't wait until you've lost all the weight - just keep doing both and everything will work out when the time is right.
Debbie
Thanks for your thoughts, Sally. All you girls are really helpful and great. :) With this guy, my gut feeling is it is one of two things...the weight -or- the fact that I said I might not be "ready" for contacting anyone a couple days before in an email. LOL! I know, I left that part out! LOL! Sorry. Yeah, it could be that I am separated, not divorced, and hesitated and told him so. Then again, it *could* be my weight. LOL! ;) Either way, it is *not* bothering me. :) I am trying not to lose weight for anyone but me, and that is the way I think it is. Really. I might check out the BBW sites though. Thanks again.....
Hugs, Sara
You are right! Thanks! It definitely could be that I am separated and I hesitated saying I might not be "ready", like I just told Sally. But I am losing weight because I feel better physically and emotionally when I am smaller. Your thoughts were very helpful though...and I agree! :)
Sara
Debbie, I think you are soooo right. I really should not stop winking and contacting some guys in the meantime. I mean, I really am attractive, just a little bigger or "thick". And I can still lose weight...and what is meant to be is meant to be. You girls are soooo wise! I appreciate it! Thanks!
Hugs, Sara
Honestly, I think a lot of "them"...guys on OLD...are in some fantasy world when they get on those OLD sites. Even if they never had a model perfect gf, they think they should land one through OLD. LOL! And you are right, they (generally) seem to think they, as men, can be a little less attractive and be just fine. Go figure! LOL. (Apologies for the generalizations!)
Sara
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