ok i have NEVER heard of women using their kids to attract men!! If anything I have heard more stories of people keeping their kids on the downlow or even a secret at first in terms of dating/finding a mate...most of the online profiles i read prefer people to not already have children. Of course many folks are open minded and dont care if someone has kids...but to say that people use their kids to attract men? lol...most men run at the mention of kids early on in dating.
That aside, I'm glad you had a great date. I think it's nice he gave you a pic of you and your daughter. He knows that she is important to you and probably wanted to show that he gets that. It was a 3rd date...you can know someone pretty well by then. good luck, hope you guys go out again soon (:
I disagree that you know someone pretty well by the third date. I've had more than one disappear after the fourth and subsequent dates. You never know.
well of course you dont always know someone that well on a 3rd date...considering many dates last 2-3 hours...by the 3rd one you often have a fairly decent idea of who you are talking to...doesnt mean it wil work out...i was just pointing out that I didnt think him giving her a pic of her and her daughter on the 3rd date was 'creepy' anyways...
Oh, no, I was only kidding about the comparison spread sheet. Believe me, I have the mental version of that, and I would like to see it fade away. FOr example, I might see a terrific looking guy, but if I see in his profile that he is 6' 190 lbs, i discard it immediately. My ex was not violent, but he was stronger than me, and I don't want to feel dominated by someone's physique or personality.
I didn't have the impression that you had Avery's pics in your profile, but that you had emailed photos to this guy, right?
I wouldn't put photos of my kids in my profile, but you can't pretend they don't exist. Unfortunately, pedophiles are attracted visually. So for them reading that you have a child is just not the same thing. However, protecting our children has many layers, and this is only one of them. I think it is more important to limit physical access to our kids, and teach our kids to defend themselves appropriately.
I've had more than a little therapy myself, and I'm not just going to leave it to my friends to point out the warning signs. If I ever slide towards a long term relationship again, my guy is going with me---just a short term check up to make sure we are on the right track. Any guy who wants to be with me for the long haul will have to be willing to do that for me.
Wow...congratulations on a great date! I look forward to feeling that way again. It hasn't happened yet but I am still new at this and hopeful. I am surprised to see that your great date post has turned into a controversy/lecture on pediphiles. ??? Can't we just appreciate a great date!!
But....for the record, my brother prosecutes those SOBs for a living. He has great advice and you really just always have to be on your gaurd. (they are looking for vulnerable kids and this does not necessarily mean the kids of single parents) The key is to stay involved with your kids and be in thier business. Keep communication open and be alert to any red flags. It is better to air on the side of caution.
As for posting photos. I was a bit surprised to see how many people post so many photos of their children but being a new mom I kind of understand. Brendan has been the central focus of my life since I learned I was pregnant. He is my heart; I can't stop myself from talking about him. I have one picture with him but it is only a partial picture of his face.
But back to the real post....enjoy the great feeling of having a really good date. I am just the teniest bit envious right now. :)
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Phew! Ok, at least a couple people here dont beleive I am selling my
ok i have NEVER heard of women using their kids to attract men!! If anything I have heard more stories of people keeping their kids on the downlow or even a secret at first in terms of dating/finding a mate...most of the online profiles i read prefer people to not already have children. Of course many folks are open minded and dont care if someone has kids...but to say that people use their kids to attract men? lol...most men run at the mention of kids early on in dating.
That aside, I'm glad you had a great date. I think it's nice he gave you a pic of you and your daughter. He knows that she is important to you and probably wanted to show that he gets that. It was a 3rd date...you can know someone pretty well by then. good luck, hope you guys go out again soon (:
I love finale too! YUM!
Oh, no, I was only kidding about the comparison spread sheet. Believe me, I have the mental version of that, and I would like to see it fade away. FOr example, I might see a terrific looking guy, but if I see in his profile that he is 6' 190 lbs, i discard it immediately. My ex was not violent, but he was stronger than me, and I don't want to feel dominated by someone's physique or personality.
I didn't have the impression that you had Avery's pics in your profile, but that you had emailed photos to this guy, right?
I wouldn't put photos of my kids in my profile, but you can't pretend they don't exist. Unfortunately, pedophiles are attracted visually. So for them reading that you have a child is just not the same thing. However, protecting our children has many layers, and this is only one of them. I think it is more important to limit physical access to our kids, and teach our kids to defend themselves appropriately.
I've had more than a little therapy myself, and I'm not just going to leave it to my friends to point out the warning signs. If I ever slide towards a long term relationship again, my guy is going with me---just a short term check up to make sure we are on the right track. Any guy who wants to be with me for the long haul will have to be willing to do that for me.
Wow...congratulations on a great date! I look forward to feeling that way again. It hasn't happened yet but I am still new at this and hopeful. I am surprised to see that your great date post has turned into a controversy/lecture on pediphiles. ??? Can't we just appreciate a great date!!
But....for the record, my brother prosecutes those SOBs for a living. He has great advice and you really just always have to be on your gaurd. (they are looking for vulnerable kids and this does not necessarily mean the kids of single parents) The key is to stay involved with your kids and be in thier business. Keep communication open and be alert to any red flags. It is better to air on the side of caution.
As for posting photos. I was a bit surprised to see how many people post so many photos of their children but being a new mom I kind of understand. Brendan has been the central focus of my life since I learned I was pregnant. He is my heart; I can't stop myself from talking about him. I have one picture with him but it is only a partial picture of his face.
But back to the real post....enjoy the great feeling of having a really good date. I am just the teniest bit envious right now. :)
Edited 10/8/2006 6:41 pm ET by mmsavannah
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