Great date on Saturday....

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2004
Great date on Saturday....
15
Fri, 05-20-2005 - 11:45am

I had a wonderful first date with a guy on Saturday....it actually lasted 10 hours. He drove to my home (an hour away from his) and we spent the day shopping, driving, dining out and laughed, joked and had fun the whole time. There was not one awkward moment. I have never felt so comfortable with a guy so quickly. He seemed totally comfortable, too.
When he left he kissed me (for about 10 minutes....lol) and said two times during the evening that he had a really great time.

Problem: I haven't really heard from him since. I did text him the next day just to let him know that I had a great time and to thank him. He texted back briefly and said that he had a great time, too and that he was going to VA for a few days and would call when he got back.

He went to VA for work on Tuesday and Wednesday....I just hoped that we would be seeing each other this weekend and that he would call on Thursday night.

Was I expecting too much? Does he fit into the *He's just not into you* situation yet or is it too soon to tell?

I never know what to expect and try not to get my hopes up too much but I felt a connection with this guy like I NEVER felt before.

I am still emailing and meeting other guys ......but really interested in him.

What do you think?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2004
Fri, 05-20-2005 - 12:07pm
As hard is this is (and I'm doing it myself so I know), just try to focus on something else and not him for now. I wouldn't say that he isn't interested just because he isn't asking you back out right away. He knows you are interested and he said he was going to call you so the ball is in his court. Again, I know it is easier said than done, but just let things lie and let him make the next move. You don't want to seem too "eager" to see him, you have expressed interest in seeing him again so he knows that. Try and concentrate on the other guys and other activities, try and get your mind off of him for a little while and you'll feel better and not so anxious :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2004
Fri, 05-20-2005 - 12:26pm
You're right and I am trying hard to do this.....Chill out, right...lol
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
Sat, 05-21-2005 - 12:04am

Hmm

1. Why'd you have to text him -- didn't he know you had a nice time?

2. I'd guess that he's not calling because you have competition - either a past/present GF or another Match hottie.

3. I would not contact him again -- for if you do he'll hover in for that final "Tag" and then be gone. Betcha any money.

Avatar for iamdelightful
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 05-21-2005 - 5:01am
It is too soon to tell, but it could also be a JNTIY situation. Sounds exactly like what happened to me this week. Winked at a guy, and he IMed me a day later. We IMed for seven hours over 5 days and went out on the 6th day ... I had a great time with him and felt really comfortable. He held my hand, put his arms around me and acted affectionate in other ways ... Since we went out he has been tired all the time sends short emails and won't IM for more than 15 minutes. When it feels so right it hurts doesn't it? How can they not feel what we felt? They seemed to be having so much fun ... Hang in there.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 05-21-2005 - 11:22am

Please tell me you meant he drove to your "home town" and that you didn't ask a total stranger to come to your actual home!!!

I also think 10 hours is WAAAAAY too long for a first date, I don't care how far he drove. A couple hours max...leave him wanting more. Plus, hanging out for so long has caused you to feel more of an attachment than only having one date warrants.

So...did he call?

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2004
Sat, 05-21-2005 - 6:48pm

Yes, Sheri, I did invite him to my home.....Not something I would normally do, but I think I'm a pretty good judge of character. There has been no one else that I have met that I would have done that with. He seems very sincere.

I don't know how I feel about 10 hours on a first date......We didn't plan it that way, the time went so fast. I wasn't really sure how long it would last. I was having a great time and it just ended up being a long date.

No, he didn't call...I am getting used to this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2004
Sat, 05-21-2005 - 6:50pm

Also, just to clarify....it wasn't our first meet....

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 05-21-2005 - 7:06pm

I'm sorry to hear he didn't call...that's a bummer.

And while I still don't think it's wise to invite someone to your home that early in the dating process, I'm glad to hear that *at least* it wasn't your first meet!

As for the 10 hour date...the point I was trying to make is that you want to protect yourself and your emotions early on. Spending 10 hours with someone isn't conducive to that. I know you didn't plan to spend that much time together, but I'm just saying it would have been wise to end it sooner. Putting it another way, in 20/20 hindsight, are you glad you invested that much time in someone who didn't call? You might be fine with it (had a good enough time that it doesn't matter that he didn't call), but if you're not, it would be best to not put yourself in that position again.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2004
Sat, 05-21-2005 - 7:50pm

Sheri, I totally hear what you are saying and agree....I would give the same advice to other people as well, but yes, I am glad we spent that time together. I still had a wonderful date. I think I would have been just as sad if we only spent 3 hours together. And, my disappointment isn't stopping me from meeting other men.

I am planning to meet a man on Monday night and another man (who lives 2 hours away) next Saturday. This second guy and I have talked online (I know ....another rule to break) quite a bit and we both think that we have a ton in common. We are both, also, looking for a real relationship. Who knows, maybe we'll meet and won't click, but he seems genuinly interested and the first man who really has pursued me....at least online.

If you knew me, you'd know that I have always been a very cautious person, but am just really driven to find the right person for me..

Thanks for your insight....

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
Sat, 05-21-2005 - 8:08pm

>>We are both, also, looking for a real relationship.

Just out of curiousity - does anyone online ever admit to anything else?... (the idiots who write oneliners asking for a spare set of your panties don't count).

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