Re. your "mental health" question...You sound just like me. I always stiffen when anyone asks me what I like to do for fun. Umm...post on an online dating message board, lie on the couch in my pjs and a bowl of popcorn and watch tv, hang out with my brother.... And when they ask about my friends....Oh - my oldest friend lives an ocean away and I haven't seen her since 1997, I have one friend who's my mom's age - I've been to her house a couple of times, and I have a couple of other friends I've never met - but we email each other.
I always worry that I probably sound like the most boring person on the planet....and a loser with no friends. I'm pretty satisfied with my solitary and simple lifestyle
that's scary, you sound like me! I hate being asked what I like to do. I also hang out on my couch in sweats and watch Discovery Channel or TLC, visit my parents, clean, do laundry, shop at Walmart, post on this board, boring.... I'm not an avid workout goddess, mountain climber, whitewater rafter...my best friends live many states away and the few I have near me are married and don't go out with me. I enjoy meeting men that have kids then we atleast have something in common to talk about!
I wanted to weigh in on this a little late... At first I thought just what LG said, red flag on the cold bitchy thing. But in context it sounds much better. I also have a thing about people who are rude to wait staff, so I can sympathize with his discomfort.
And I also hate the question about what I like to do in my spare time. Being a single mom, spare time is the seven minutes in the morning I get after my kid is gone and before I have to get to work, or the (possibly) half hour after she's asleep and before I am. The honest answer? Crossword puzzles, escapist fiction, gardening, reruns of Buffy! Tell me that doesn't sound DULL!
Ugh, me too. It's when someone asks me that question that I'm forced to confront how boring my life sounds. Fortunately, I think a lot of us feel that way and I know that all those people whose profiles make them sound like they have tons of hobbies and interests are exaggerating at the very least. If they went on one hike or camping trip in their life, it suddenly becomes a "hobby".
As far as the friends thing goes, I think some of us have seen too many "Sex & The City" episodes and wonder why we don't have that tight network of friends. I don't know anyone who does, especially as you get older and friends have this annoying tendency to get married or move away, or both.
Regarding the guy...I think I am scared to meet him so I am trying to find things that are bad...but at the TIME I was talking to him I wasn't offended at all and believe me I can be a TOTAL judgemental bitch!!!!
Besides being adorable and full of personality, I think you show the traits of someone who can live and learn, who is getting to know who they Truly are, and maybe a little more time in the slow lane like this, and you will Soon reach that point where You know exactly what you want in a man, and that will help in your search. Don't be discouraged by age; I am 48 and this year I have Just gone to the "Clue Store" and gotten ther large, industrial sized clue, and now see the many ways I was making mistakes in the men I chose. First, I had to get over jonesing on the Boy Toys--looks mean nada,in the long run, but I DO want someone I want to look across the breakfast table at! :)
Your hobbies are fine; not everyone needs to be a body double for Lucy Liu. Really, when you read the guy's profiles, are you seeing rowdy, road-ripping stuff, or "normal dude" things like working out, beaching it and car shows? Do what you like to do Because it pleases you, and not for someone else. Attitude IS everything, and yours is Great!
Learn to let all of this just roll right through you,sift through it mentally,keep what you wish and discard the rest. One emotionally packed carry-on, and it should fit in the overhead bin of Life! As for negative men, who go on about *itchy women and bad attitudes-- you have to wonder if they are bringing the can along and painting You with some of that,before they even get to know you! Both sexes do this "all of you are alike..." stuff. Not good! Negativity Sucks!
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Re. your "mental health" question...You sound just like me. I always stiffen when anyone asks me what I like to do for fun. Umm...post on an online dating message board, lie on the couch in my pjs and a bowl of popcorn and watch tv, hang out with my brother.... And when they ask about my friends....Oh - my oldest friend lives an ocean away and I haven't seen her since 1997, I have one friend who's my mom's age - I've been to her house a couple of times, and I have a couple of other friends I've never met - but we email each other.
I always worry that I probably sound like the most boring person on the planet....and a loser with no friends. I'm pretty satisfied with my solitary and simple lifestyle
Hey Sparkle,
I wanted to weigh in on this a little late...
At first I thought just what LG said, red flag on the cold bitchy thing. But in context it sounds much better. I also have a thing about people who are rude to wait staff, so I can sympathize with his discomfort.
And I also hate the question about what I like to do in my spare time. Being a single mom, spare time is the seven minutes in the morning I get after my kid is gone and before I have to get to work, or the (possibly) half hour after she's asleep and before I am. The honest answer? Crossword puzzles, escapist fiction, gardening, reruns of Buffy! Tell me that doesn't sound DULL!
Sposa
<>
Ugh, me too. It's when someone asks me that question that I'm forced to confront how boring my life sounds. Fortunately, I think a lot of us feel that way and I know that all those people whose profiles make them sound like they have tons of hobbies and interests are exaggerating at the very least. If they went on one hike or camping trip in their life, it suddenly becomes a "hobby".
As far as the friends thing goes, I think some of us have seen too many "Sex & The City" episodes and wonder why we don't have that tight network of friends. I don't know anyone who does, especially as you get older and friends have this annoying tendency to get married or move away, or both.
Edited 3/14/2005 11:23 am ET ET by icarrie141
Regarding the guy...I think I am scared to meet him so I am trying to find things that are bad...but at the TIME I was talking to him I wasn't offended at all and believe me I can be a TOTAL judgemental bitch!!!!
Hi Spark,
Besides being adorable and full of personality, I think you show the traits of someone who can live and learn, who is getting to know who they Truly are, and maybe a little more time in the slow lane like this, and you will Soon reach that point where You know exactly what you want in a man, and that will help in your search. Don't be discouraged by age; I am 48 and this year I have Just gone to the "Clue Store" and gotten ther large, industrial sized clue, and now see the many ways I was making mistakes in the men I chose. First, I had to get over jonesing on the Boy Toys--looks mean nada,in the long run, but I DO want someone I want to look across the breakfast table at! :)
Your hobbies are fine; not everyone needs to be a body double for Lucy Liu. Really, when you read the guy's profiles, are you seeing rowdy, road-ripping stuff, or "normal dude" things like working out, beaching it and car shows? Do what you like to do Because it pleases you, and not for someone else. Attitude IS everything, and yours is Great!
Learn to let all of this just roll right through you,sift through it mentally,keep what you wish and discard the rest. One emotionally packed carry-on, and it should fit in the overhead bin of Life! As for negative men, who go on about *itchy women and bad attitudes-- you have to wonder if they are bringing the can along and painting You with some of that,before they even get to know you! Both sexes do this "all of you are alike..." stuff. Not good! Negativity Sucks!
Ding! Next!
Truly,
Cupcake
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