as a guy, initiate or wait?
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as a guy, initiate or wait?
| Fri, 03-03-2006 - 7:31pm |
hi all. i'm new to online dating and to the boards here also, so forgive me if this question is old news. so my picture/profile is up on a popular dating site and i'm an ok looking guy who tried to make my profile a true reflection of myself. are online dating "rules" the same in that it's my "job" now to initiate contact with the women i'd like to meet? or if i just sit back for a while, would some women start up the process? and if the women do, in fact, start some of the conversations, is there just a particular type (i.e. desperate) that would generally do so?
thanks
~michael

I've had much better luck where I initiate with a wink/smile/icebreaker/whatever and then let the guy take it from there...as a rule, the men who approach me first are not men I'm interested in. So I would do a combination, if I were you...email the women you're interested in, and respond to the ones who interest you, if they initiate.
I would find it very offensive if a guy assumed I was desparate because I winked at him, but whatever floats your boat...
Sheri
Umm, yeah. Don't go around thinking that women who contact you online are "desperate". Most definitely NOT a good vibe to be giving off to them. Online sites are not a meat market with windows for guys to pick women they want to meet - it's a way for people to get out and meet others and hopefully find a date or a relationship.
The online dating world is a two way street and many women take the initiative and send out that first wink because the guys they like are not contacting them so they decide to do something about it. But if a woman contacts you and you have an interest in her, I would suggest that you do the pursuing after that point - send the next email, ask her if she would like to talk on the phone when you feel comofortable enough, ask her on the first meet.