This guy ... kinda long

Avatar for sk3035
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
This guy ... kinda long
17
Sun, 01-22-2006 - 6:36pm

Ok, this guy from OLD

He contacted me and I accepted him. After several days, he sends me a message "I am wondering where to go from here .. write or talk? Let me know what you are more comfortable with."

Alright, so I sent him a message back on the same day saying "Let's talk a little on emails and then go to phone" and gave him my email id for him to write back.

After 5 days, he writes to me letting me know a little (very brief) about himself ending the email with "More later on hearing from you". I wrote back the next day in the same tone letting him know a little bit about myself and also telling him that since my profile is very brief and concise, he is free to ask me whatever he wanted to and that I will look forward to hearing from him.

He again replies back after 5 days on Jan 2 just to wish me a happy new year ... that's it!! Anyways, thinking that he atleast didn't forget me, I replied to his email JUST thanking him and wishing him for the new year.

I don't hear from him for 10 days. On the 11th day, he emails me saying "Please feel free to call me on my cell number or if I prefer let me have your number and the good times to reach you. I look forward to talking with you soon."

This kind of raised my eyebrow - in the sense that this guy who was not at all friendly was writing to me after 10 days and wants to talk to me SOON.

Anyways, I replied back to his email on the 3rd day asking him what time after 6:30 on a weekday works for him and that I will call him.

So, after 2 days, he writes to me letting me know that I could call him anytime after 7pm.

I call him the next day and get his voice mail. I leave a message for him - that I got his email, letting him know my cell number and leaving it upto him if he wanted to call me back.

He calls me after 1 hour. Since I was in the washroom, I couldn't pick up the phone. He leavs a voicemail saying that he was out having dinner with some people from his office and that he would try me again. If he is not able to reach me that night, he would call me later the next day.

He didn't call me that night. He didn't call me the next day and he hasn't called me today.

This has me all confused. Can anyone sense what this guy really wants or is he just playing games?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Tue, 01-24-2006 - 9:26pm

You can never expect someone you don't know to do anything you expect.


LOL. I know, that's crazy. But expect it. Does that help?


Avatar for sk3035
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Tue, 01-24-2006 - 9:55pm
Can you please elaborate on that because you have me all confused with just those 2 sentences.
Avatar for phoenixmama
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 01-25-2006 - 1:02am

You don't know him, he don't know you, you have no reason nor right to *expect* anything.

Anything goes in this crazy game. Expectations are useless until you're actually getting to know someone face to face and establishing some consistency over time. Until then you're really just another stranger that he has no obligation to whatsoever.

If it seems like he's taking a 'long time', it's possible he's just busy, and/or you haven't really caught his interest. Enough. Yet. If he's interested enough, you won't have to wonder 'cause he'll get on the ball and SHOW you.

Make sense?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Wed, 01-25-2006 - 9:14am

What are you expecting from this guy?

So far all we have seen are some extremely erratic emails and a 40 minute phone conversation. If he can't even agree to a phone conversation time I kind of wonder what it is going to take to get this guy to meet you for coffee.

But I have been wrong before.

Avatar for sk3035
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Wed, 01-25-2006 - 7:09pm

For one, I'm not sure where you got the impression that he is not ready or willing to talk. We have already set the time (that works for both of us) for anyone of us to call.

Secondly, I have no expectations but I am certainly interested in his profile.

Thirdly, please read the discussions carefully before jumping onto conclusions and setting an angry tone in your response.

Avatar for sk3035
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Wed, 01-25-2006 - 7:10pm
yup, sure makes sense. Thanks.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2006
Wed, 01-25-2006 - 9:42pm

Why are you even bothering with this guy? Well, there’s no use in trying to guess what his intentions or why he's acted the way he has, because you'll never know unless you ask him or he tells you. To be quite honest, and I'm only using this as personal experience and experiences of close friends... the guy is probably married, and wants a little side action. Sorry to sound so harsh, but there are guys out there like that. A friend of mine was in a relationship with a guy for about a year, she could only get a hold of him at certain times (even on his days off), he made up funny excuses about where he was at (birthday parties, my mom got in a car accident, etc)... come to find out, on their year anniversary of being together she didn't understand what could possibly be so important as to why he wouldn't spend their anniversary together. After calling and calling, the guy told her that his sister or something was in the hospital, and he was really "upset" and hung up. Small town with only two hospitals, she was really worried because he had shut his phone off after that. She called the hospitals and found he was lying, after a long fight the next day he admitted to her that he was married. Anyway, that's a little irrelevant, but I was just sharing a story.

Fact of the matter is, don't get too attached to this guy... is he really the kind of guy you want to get to know? Even if he IS only busy, me-personally, looking in the future wouldn't want to be with someone so busy. Wouldn't you like someone who is at least available enough to take my call. Anyway, you obviously care enough about this guy (for whatever reasons) to ask for advice on the situation, so why don't you just talk to him?

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