A guy needing profile help. Appreciate a female's honest point of view

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2011
A guy needing profile help. Appreciate a female's honest point of view
11
Tue, 09-06-2011 - 7:49am

Hey all,

I'm a 29 year old guy looking to get back into the dating game. I went the online route before and had great success, poked a girl on facebook and then we started talking and wound up in a 2+ year relationship which came very close to engagement before she broke things out. I was heartbroken for a while, but I'm once again looking to find the right one. I put up some online profiles but I'm not really attracting anyone. I believe I am a good looking guy with a good head on my shoulders and a solid job, but I'm pretty sure my problem is I'm not standing out to potential matches. Here is what I am working with right now. Is this a good profile or should I work on it and how should I improve it so I stand out?

"I can be very random and goofy but most all I am loyal, honest, caring and respectful of others. I value all of my relationships in life and am blessed with the greatest set of family and friends. Employed and with a good head on my shoulders, I love to be active and run, love to laugh at a good joke and always motivated to do more in life. I enjoy a good movie and a variety of music depending on my mood(anything from acoustic rock to heavy metal to 80s and hip hop). I love to stay in just as much as I love to go out. Live kind of a busy life right now so just seeing what's out there! "

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

Since I've probably read 100's of men's profiles, I think I can help even though I'm in an older age group.

First of all, take out the first part that says "random & goofy"--what the heck does it even mean if you say you're random?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2009

I agree with musiclover - take out the random and goofy part.

Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006

I agree with the other posters. When you say you are not attracting anyone, I hope you aren't sitting back waiting for women to contact you first. Unfortunately, it's more the "man's job" to do the contacting, and from what I hear, most men do not get a high rate of return. It's just the facts, the cost of doing business. And, don't take things personally online--these women don't know you, so don't feel bad if they don't respond.

I think you could flesh out your profile more. A good rule to follow is "show, don't tell." For instance, instead of "telling" that you are blessed with a great family, maybe you want to "show it" by describing what that might be: "I love playing basketball with my two nephews" or on being active: "I play tennis twice a week and am training for the ABC 10K Run." And please, don't say you like to stay in or go out--everyone says that. And it would be OK to "show" how you are goofy, just do it in a flattering-to-you way. I also think you could "fun up" your profile more: you seem a bit too serious with statements like "I have a good head on my shoulders." A woman should read your profile and think "I could have a fun date with this guy."

I don't have any good ideas for a headline, but you are on the right track by realizing this is important. These really are like ads, and your copy needs to cut to the chase very quickly (I work in advertising myself).

Have good photos, but don't post a million of them. Please, no cell phone-in-the-bathroom mirror shots. Don't pose next to your car/motorcycle/boat/airplane. Please wear a shirt in all of your photos, I don't care if you have rock-hard abs. Don't wear a ballcap and sunglasses. Very important: smile in your photos.

When you contact a woman, you don't need to write a novel: just a few lines that let her know you've read her profile and would like to get to know her better. If you are interested, ask to meet after 3 or 4 emails: don't let it drag on for weeks before meeting.

Good luck to you, and let us know how it goes.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2011
Good advice ladies. I've dropped the opening from my profile as suggested and changed the end. This what I'm rolling with now

I am loyal, honest, caring and respectful of others. I value all of my relationships in life and am blessed with the greatest set of family and friends. Employed and with a good head on my shoulders, I love to be active and run, love to laugh at a good joke and always motivated to do more in life. I enjoy a good movie and a variety of music depending on my mood(anything from acoustic rock to heavy metal to 80s and hip hop). I love to stay in just as much as I love to go out. Live kind of a busy life right now but always looking for "The One"! Could it be you!?

Actually this is my match.com profile. I signed up for the trial, not having a great deal of success.
http://www.match.com/profile/Show?UID=9JBvFcmB7DFSs1KTQwiRAw%3D%3D&Handle=breesrunner

floridagirl, I love your suggestions. I have a difficult time writing these things but I'll try and work on it when I get home from work.

I really appreciate the help, ladies. You're all great!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2011
What everyone else said and....you've got to dedicate more time than the free trial period. I suspect that women are on to that and won't react until at least three days past you showing as "new." Give it at least a month or two. Definitely drop the "just seeing what's out there". When I tried the online thing, that kind of sentence made my top 5 of pet peeves for what people do - it made me think the person was too wishy washy to even commit to saying they could commit to dating on a dating site.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

Hey, JT, just cause I'm older doesn't mean I don't want a lot of fun.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2007

Ok here goes, I agree with Florida girl, you need to fun up the profile.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
walker_sam wrote:

And please oh please don't add a pic of you standing in front of your truck....lol

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2011

Thanks for the advice. I tried to write a good profile but couldn't find anything I really liked, so I caved and bought the profilepro service from match. Figured for the price of a cheap night out, I'd let them build me a solid profile. I think it looks pretty good, something I couldn't have thought up on my own. So let's see how it goes! And no I don't have any pictures next to a truck or motorcyle! Not my style, nor do I feel like posing next to my Nissan Sentra haha

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010

Hi There I suggest that you follow the advice.

Goldfish

Pages