This Guy Needs Online Dating Advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
This Guy Needs Online Dating Advice
29
Fri, 12-02-2005 - 10:06pm

Ok, I've been dabbling with this online dating a little and I 'aint havin' any luck. I'm currently on Yahoo Personals. The only women that send me anything are Russian mail-order brides in disguise. Not only that, while I see some cute faces here and there that according to the site are good matches, I never feel compelled to send them anything. Am I just being pessimistic? Plus, I know that if I send them something, they're not going to reply. I don't even know what to say anyway.


Here's what my "top pick" according to the site says in her profile...


"...Looking at the leaves that Fall brings...you never guess which one will fall in your heart...but you still want it to lay on your heart,to soften your life...to make you feel needed..I dream about only one touch of happiness,would this Fall bring it?.... "


Ok. How do I respond to that? :)


Which brings me to another problem. These people just put little blurbs down. I don't feel any sort of connection there.


Should I just try another site? I tried match.com also but didn't see anyone there that interested me there either. In fact, I don't see anyone who interests me anywhere. All I see are pics and paragraphs. I can't be interested in pics and paragraphs. :)


Oh yeah, I also tried eharmony.com. They told me that they couldn't match me with anyone, which according to them happens with 20% of applicants.


Here's my Yahoo profile. Anyone wanna pick it apart?


http://personals.yahoo.com/us/personals-1108364494-121020


Yes. I know I need a picture. I'm working on that. I can't seem to get one of me that I like.


HELP!!! I'm tryin' ta get over a girl! :)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Mon, 12-05-2005 - 10:03am
I'm not fully awake yet so I only skimmed your profile (I'll give my two cents by the end of the day), but your picture is very good.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Mon, 12-05-2005 - 10:29am

I'm with CGUN... cute pic. My advice? Get a few more. Full body shot too. Important to know who you're talking to and what to expect on a first meet.


And then... within the next 24 hours I challenge you to do something... email at least 10 girls. Find something in their profile to start the convo with. Doesn't matter if these girls are the top of your picks, just try it. :o)


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Mon, 12-05-2005 - 12:30pm

Okay, here's my two cents.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Mon, 12-05-2005 - 2:43pm

Re: the Paris Hilton vs. Natalie Merchant thing...

I like that you don't go for "conventional beauty," but you might turn off someone who is say, blonde, not brunette or tall and not petite like Natalie Merchant. I wouldn't put a specific name down because it might come across that you're looking for only one type.

You also might turn off people who happen to like Paris Hilton or happen to not like Natalie Merchant (or who don't know who she is).

Maybe something like: "I like women who have a style and beauty that's all their own. I tend to not get too excited about the typical Hollywood look."

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Mon, 12-05-2005 - 2:47pm

I just checked out your edited post. MUCH BETTER!

Great photo - you're not smiling, but your eyes are - which is great. Shows off a little personality. :)

Keep us posted on how it goes!

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Wed, 12-07-2005 - 9:42pm

"I like women who have a style and beauty that's all their own. I tend to not get too excited about the typical Hollywood look."


I used that. :)


I tweaked it some more. I can't think of a good opening paragraph. I scrapped the one I had up before. I'll try to get some more pics this weekend. I'm not particularly photogenic right now. I definitely need a full body pic.


Thanks again for the advice. Thanks also for the compliments on my pic. Hopefully someone else thinks I'm cute too. I'm gonna try to get an even better headshot. The full pic actually looks even better.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Mon, 12-26-2005 - 6:23pm

Hey, you guys were right. Having a pic definitely helps. I've had about 4 women sent me messages since then. Unfortunately, I'm not all that into any of them. I'm not seeing any women that catch my eye either. Even the women I find attractive seem to want guys that are totally different than me. They want guys who are taller or a different race or make more money or have totally different interests. Or, you get a cute face, and they don't tell you anything else about themselves and thusly I don't feel compelled to send them anything. They're just like, "I like to go shopping and watch tv and dance. IM me."


I did put my profile on craigslist.org also. Same deal. However, I did get some nice messages but nothing has materialized yet. Some gay guy sent me a funny message, asking if I had a gay twin. :)


I may try another site.


Anyway, thanks for the help. Sorry it took so long to back to y'all. Been busy. Keep the suggestions coming.




Edited 12/26/2005 6:46 pm ET by iwarrior2005
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Mon, 12-26-2005 - 6:26pm

I think that's great! And I took another look at your profile... so much more upbeat and positive in my opinion! Good job. Keep us posted. :o)


Kerry



iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Sat, 02-25-2006 - 2:57pm

Ok, here's an update. I haven't gotten any dates yet. I have gotten a bunch of messages from women w/o making the first move, which is nice. But, like I said before, most of them are women I'm not that attracted to. There was one girl I met on Yahoo Personals (I seem to have had the most luck with that site). We emailed each other and talked on he phone twice. She was pretty cute, seemed nice. I thought I blew it with her at first because I didn't call her back right away. I emailed her one last time after that, and she told me to call her. But when I did, she never picked up. I tried her a few more times and gave up. She was just too hard to get a hold of. She also lived a little far away anyway.


There's another girl I've been having email convos with from craigslist.org. She seems like a really neat girl, and we seem to be on the same wavelength. However, I think she just wants to be friends, which is fine. In fact, she revealed to me that she's sort of in a long-distance relationship. I don't really care about that though since I do like conversing with her. I wouldn't mind meeting her in person someday though.


But here's the thing. Most of the time, when I make the first move, the girls don't reply. I'm on plentyoffish.org now, which I went to due to a recommendation here, and most of my messages end up "read deleted". I don't know if it's me or them or what?


Anyway, I like POF. I'm all over their boards over there. I went in their "profile reviews" section. Some of the peope gave me suggestions as to tweaking my profile.


Here's my Yahoo Personals profile which I tweaked as per the suggestions I recieved in this thread here on ivillage...


http://personals.yahoo.com/us/personals-1108364494-121020


This is my POF profile...


http://www.plentyoffish.com/viewprofile.aspx?match=1&profile_id=1141664


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