Is this guy weird?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2006
Is this guy weird?
25
Wed, 06-30-2010 - 11:55pm

I met this guy on match.com. We hit it off pretty well the first time we met, chatted over coffee for over 3 hours. He would text me quite a bit, almost everyday. The second time we played miniature golf and also talked some more. I thought that he was really good looking and we had a lot in common as far as music, college majors, politics, religion, etc. He was very polite and I gave him a good bye hug.


Since then, he has texted me asking how I feel about sex. The first time I said that I feel uncomfortable answering that question and he let it go. I've been out of town and he texted me twice about sex. I said that I think we should talk about this subject in person. He has texted a couple of times saying "I'm really horny". I told him to stop sending me those texts because my kids use my phone. He said that he would stop.


I went on match to look for a long-term relationship leading to marriage. He knows that I'm Catholic and I attend Mass - I don't know how most men would react if I told them that I won't have sex until marriage, probably run for the hills : ) Btw, I'm divorced with 3 kids. I'm 42 and the guy is 30.


I like this guy and he was really nice in person but the sex texts seem out of character. Ladies, would you give this guy another chance and go out with him again or kick him to the curb? Anyone else met guys like this on these dating sites?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2010
Thu, 07-01-2010 - 12:30am
Stop answering his texts - tell him to stop texting you.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-01-2010 - 2:07am

kick him to the curb...he's looking to get laid and is thinking it's taking too long to get you into bed.


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-23-2009
Thu, 07-01-2010 - 10:54am
Mentally balanced men with normal social skills don't say things like "I'm horny" until you're already in a sexual relationship with him. I went on one date with a similar man who started texting the same things after our date. He had been divorced for 15 years. I asked him what his longest relationship was since then, and he said 9 months. After that answer and the sexual comments, I dropped him like a hot potato.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2002
Thu, 07-01-2010 - 10:54am
I've been having similiar experiences.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-23-2009
Fri, 07-02-2010 - 9:14am
After thinking about your marriage before sex rule, I think that you will be hard-pressed to find any man on a non-christian dating site that will be willing to wait for sex until marriage. I think your better bet would be christian dating sites, and local churches who have single parent or single adult social get togethers.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Fri, 07-02-2010 - 10:01am

Run like the wind.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2006
Fri, 07-02-2010 - 12:12pm

I appreciate all the replies. He sent me a text this morning saying that he's going to be busy with his new job and said that he's not interesting in dating me. Oh well, this is one of the reasons that I cancelled my match subscription...too many guys who just want to email, want sex, or who I am not attracted to at all.


As far as the sex before marriage, I have had brief relationships after my divorce (4 months) that involved sex and I have engaged in hooking up behavior. I usually wind up falling in love with the guy or getting very emotionally attached. I've had this happen enough times to realize that I want to be married, or engaged at the very least, to the next man that I have sex with. I've probably doomed myself to a life of abstinence...lol.


The other guy I went out with before this guy also did the same thing, polite on the first meet but started talking about sex the second date and tried

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2010
Fri, 07-02-2010 - 12:35pm

Regarding all this talk about Christian dating sites and church groups . . .well, that’s okay, but the fact is some of the biggest horny toads, adulterers, and hypocrites sit in church on Sunday, throw the bible in people's faces,

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 07-02-2010 - 1:51pm

I have to say that whether people go to church doesn't always equate to whether they will have sex w/o being married. Even though the Catholic church (I'm Catholic) says no to birth control, for ex, I don't really know any Catholics who don't use birth control. I think only very conservative Christians don't have sex BF marriage. Funny, now I can think of someone who is a regular poster on an IV board who is always quoting the Bible and it was important to her to find a church that she & her BF would go to, but they have a sex life also. And as far as age, I think older men wouldn't be willing to wait either--I mean, if they've been in relationships, they are used to having sex. It's kind of hard to get a middle aged man to wait until the engagement, although I suppose it's possible.

I think it would be unusual for a 30 yr old guy to be dating a 40+ mom in general, esp. if he has no kids--what is the real connection there? Or I should say, your lives are in such diff. stages--do you think this young guy wants to settle down & help raise your kids? I know Ashton Kutcher did it, but it's not that common. So yeah, he was probably just interested in sex and as the other poster wrote, it's like a trend for the older woman/younger man now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Fri, 07-02-2010 - 2:03pm

There is nothing saying that just because someone is Christian or attends church that they are more or less OK with sex before marriage.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

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