is the guy without pic ever attractive?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2005
is the guy without pic ever attractive?
17
Thu, 12-08-2005 - 11:44pm

Just wondering. I read past threads in which people said in cases where a guy didn't have a pic and one was requested, he would disappear off the face of the planet, or when one finally sent a pic, he looked like he weighed 600 pounds.

It sounds like the basic approach among folks here, when approached by a guy without a pic is to bluntly ask for one. I wonder, are there any cases where you were pleasantly surprised?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2005
Thu, 12-08-2005 - 11:49pm

Yes, I have had a lot of very attractive forward me there photo that wasn't on the site. I've also had the latter. For me it's been 50/50 - like anything in life you can't generalize; exceptions to every rule.

Also, it's the entire package - looks aren't everything; not by a long shot. Pictures can be misleading and chemistry isn't something you can get from a photo or a few paragraphs on a dating site. It just gets you that first date, after that it's up to you and what you're looking for and what he's looking for that will determine that.

SP

 
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2005
Fri, 12-09-2005 - 5:00am
Yes, he was the hottest man I had ever been with in my whole life. Turned out to be married. That's why if they don't have a picture posted or don't offer to send one right away, I automatically think they're married.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Fri, 12-09-2005 - 9:36am
Yes, I had one without a pic email me one once and he was very attractive.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2005
Fri, 12-09-2005 - 10:03am

Hi Miss,


I had the same experience.

CL-Truewild1969

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Avatar for danskpige
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2004
Fri, 12-09-2005 - 10:09am

Hi there,

I've been lurking for a while - not doing the OLD thing quite yet. I signed up on a site but haven't yet put up a profile. I've actually hidden myself for now until I can get something up. I've read through a lot of messages on this board and have seen a lot of good, common sense advice. I'll take a stab at my profile and maybe post for some advice. I can't seem to get my sense of humour to come through - sounds way to serious. :-)

Regarding this particular topic, I did get an IM from someone before I managed to figure out how to hide my profile. It turned out to be from a police officer (I'm actually a lawyer so I actually did check! I like to know the facts!). He didn't actually have a public profile picture posted but did have some you could request to see. I was wondering what he'd look like - you never know. But after finding out he was a cop I figured he didn't post a profile pic for job/security reasons. He turned out to be very nice looking. Didn't go anywhere beyond a couple of phone calls.

~Andrea

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Fri, 12-09-2005 - 10:11am

I once had a date with a guy who didn't post a picture but sent one to me on email after I asked for it.

He was good looking....but he turned out to be rather efeminate and probably gay.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2005
Fri, 12-09-2005 - 10:31am
my last boyfriend that i met online didnt have a picture. i actually didnt even know what he looked like until the day that i met him! i was a little freaked out, thinking that he could be "horribly disfigured" or something. but i didnt care because i liked so much about him from talking to him. sometimes its worth the chance. and if its not, then you dont have to see him again. but dont base it all on looks. good luck!
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 12-09-2005 - 10:42am

Most guys without pics who I've met have been fine. But that was mostly back in the day when very few people had digital cameras and it was harder to get a photos to post. Nowadays, I am suspicious of anyone who doesn't have a picture posted...NOT that they are unattractive but that they are married or involved.

So unless it's on CL (where I totally understand not posting a photo), I steer clear of anyone who doesn't have a picture posted. Once in a while I'll make an exception if their profile is really interesting (but I actually can't think of the last time that happened).

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2003
Fri, 12-09-2005 - 10:55am

I didn't discount anyone right off the bat because they didn't have one. At the beginning I didn't have one posted either, and that was for business/security reasons. Pics were exchanged privately at the outset and then we'd go from there. There was no one that was hideous or trying to hide anything by nor having

Solazzo
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2005
Fri, 12-09-2005 - 11:05am

Well the verdict seems to be that hiding a picture often has nothing to do with the man's looks. Something about this whole process I admit makes me a lot more superficial than I would in real life (my ex's who I hadn't met online, but through work, friends, school were not what I'd call objectively handsome, but they'd grown on me so much that I thought they were the hottest things on earth).

But what's really interesting from the responses is that these men tend to be hiding something, something which turns out to be a lot more pernicious than not having the most aesthetically appealing face. And in other cases they turned out to be perfectly fine. So once again, you never know. I am wary though about continuing communication with these guys. Often, there's also something not quite right in their written profiles.

Good to know. Glad I asked.

SBC

P.S.

Btw, what a difference a week makes. Exactly a week ago I was wringing my hands over having "sabotaged" things with the OLD guy. Today I am back to communicating with a few guys, having my interest sparked, and feeling better about things in general. Things are looking up professionally too, as I've gotten a few bites in my job search, which felt like it had stalled in November. I will need to turn more of my attention to preparing for my interviews and getting my professional act together, so might not have much to post on myself in the coming weeks. I'll certainly return with juicy new stories/quandaries if I go out on any more dates and will also stay updated on the rest of you.

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