A Guy's Need To Pursue

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2003
A Guy's Need To Pursue
25
Sat, 11-19-2005 - 2:49pm
When first dating, does a guy need to be the one that pursues? I know that if he calls, asks you out, etc. it usually means that he is interested. Is it best to let him take the initiative early on? Or is it okay for the woman to call and set up a date?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2004
Mon, 12-05-2005 - 12:11am

to answer your question and why does dating have to be soo complicated??

well lately i have been observing from both the inside of my r'ship and the outside of my friends' r'ships and dating

and here is my opinions:

dating is not complicated.. i am starting to believe in that book " he is not that into you"

i have been courted by a guy, he calls in advance and plans dates. I never have to pick up the phone to call him, he always follows through and calls me, i never have to question anything and if i do it's mostly my insecurities not doubts about his interest level. we are now 4 months into dating

i have a few gF's the same thing never any questions the guy always called, and planned in advance.

my take on this, if a guy likes you , don't you think he'd want to see you? and also make you have no other plans for the weekend except w/ him?? he is going to book you in advance.. yes some people are more laid back and for me that doesn't work. in the beginnng i like to be courted.. in a r'ship different story i don't mind being spontaneous and having last minutes dates but i already know he is into me..

also my take on guys.. i Have guys friends and dated guys that have used excuses: too busy, scared, cphobe all this nonsense but when the right one came along there were no excuses.. just like the book, when they are into you , YOU will definitely know it..

some will call you and casually date you for the right now girl or waiting for BBD yes..

go w/ what you want and need and follow your gut.. if you don't feel you should be calling a guy then dont' go against what you want and don't compromise your values. there is someone out there that will fit what you need to have in a man and r'ship so, dont settle

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Mon, 12-05-2005 - 7:09am
Well said, Rose.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Mon, 12-05-2005 - 10:21am

ITA.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2003
Mon, 12-05-2005 - 10:40pm
He was calling and emailing me on a very regular basis--every few days. That is why I don't understand his not following through that one time. Since then, he has called me twice so I really don't know what to think at this point. Sometimes I feel that he is into me and other times I feel that maybe he isn't. I don't know if that is really the case or just my own thoughts. Maybe he doesn't know if I am into him? I wouldn't agree to go on a date and continue to talk to him if I wasn't, but do guys understand that or do they need more obvious signs?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2004
Mon, 12-05-2005 - 11:40pm

he obviously knows you like him if you don't think so then ask him..

i think if he was into you again like i said, he'd be asking you out.. a man that wants to see you or misses you makes plans doesn't sit and talk on the or not, or send emails. a man that wants a rship w/ you will make sure he sees you

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