Guys online fickle/just looking for sex?
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Guys online fickle/just looking for sex?
| Thu, 01-27-2005 - 3:43pm |
I'M wondering, do people feel like a lot of men who go on these dating sites are just looking for sex? I've never really had a problem getting second dates. But, I've been doing match.com now and have had so many dates in which the guy is clearly into me, refers to us meeting up in the future and then I never hear from him again. I'm 100% percent certain that during the date they mean all this. From the moment i say hello, it's like they're transfixed and usually try to extend the date. This has happened about 4 times now. It's frustrating! I'm smart enough to know it's not me, but a little part of me is stumped. Am i alone in this?

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I expect even less from the online correspondence. For some reason I just assume that they are typical go nowhere emails. Unless there is some real common ground I have the attitude that if I can make a meeting - great. If not? Best wishes.
It does make it a lot easier to enter each interaction assuming you'll never hear/see the other person again. I thank NWW for that tidbit.
"Do You Remember The Days....?"
Hi Y'all,
Totally agree with the stop, drop and roll mentality of some of the men here! It is not "what they are thinking of, it is what they are thinking With!". Back in the day, you went about life and were kinda Lucky to meet someone you felt an attraction to, so people (esp men!) had to DO more to date a woman. More chivalry, more attentiveness, more 'wooing', as it were! Now....they are shooting fish in a barrell!
Same can be said for women, I am not dissing men here. I like them, and I want a New one! :) For some men, getting serious is like taking a sandwich to a banquet--there is always More at the Table, so why settle Here, on the macaroni salad?
Why? Because we good women are NOT 'macaroni salad'. One has to be lots more wary these days. I do not have sex withsomeone before a month, Minimum, has gone by, and things have been very good. But....theory/blown out/water...that did not even work that well with the One I have dated for 18 weeks from here! What's a Cupcake to do? I don't "buzzard" things any more; ie, pick it to death and worry..now, I Move on and have fun!
Later Days!
Truly,
Cupcake
>>Because we good women are NOT 'macaroni salad'.<<
Mmmm, macaroni salad. mmmmmmmm.
You know, I miss my mom sometimes. She lives in another part of the country and I like her macaroni salad. I'd ask her to make some and send it to me, but let's face it, it's just not going to be the same. In fact, it'd probably be riddled with food poisoning.
Sigh.
I'm sorry, what were we talking about? Oh yeah, fickle guys.
Look, I don't mind the ranting.
The only thing that bugs me about it is when it sounds so totally one-sided; there's just as many flakey, shopping-for-the-BBD, baggage-ridden women out there doing OLD as there are men.
I went out with one gal a week or two ago (mentioned her before) who, in hindsight, I should've known was a whack job. Her profile says she doesn't date casually; one of her first emails said that she likes a casual, easy first meeting so she won't be all tense; then, after a great first date and HER suggesting we get together again in the future and setting a second date, she emails to cancel, with these two choice quotes:
"The truth of the matter is I think you're a really wonderful person and I had a lovely time, but I just can't get out of the funk of pursuing a relationship which doesn't feel exactly right."
(Um, it was a first date, not a "relationship". And if the standard is "exactly right", wow- good luck with that!)
"I probably should have just said I wanted to think about things, but that wouldn't have sounded right either as I found you very fun, smart, and with a good head on your shoulders."
(You're kidding me, right? Putting me on? YOU suggested we go out again! You think you should've just said we think about it, but that wouldn't have been right since I seemed so neato?)
Now, I fully recognize that it's her right to cancel. Hey, if she's not feeling the desire to go out, that's probably what she should do, eh? And I also recognize that she's trying to not hurt my feelings and explain that it's not me, it's her; after all, I'm fun, smart, good head on my shoulders, a wonderful person, yadda yadda yadda.
BUT GIVE ME A FRIGGIN BREAK!
We talked for a couple of hours over coffee, she suggests a second date, and then SHE flakes out and cancels?
There are just as many flakey women doing dating, both real-world and OLD, as there are guys. If the guys are just out hoping for the BBD and sex, then the women must be out there looking for the BBD and... I don't know, what is it that women are looking for if it's not sex? The perfect man, I guess?
Blech.
(Guess who's really grumpy about things today?)
Yes, NGOL, I've had lots of guys, who ultimately ghosted on me, tell me all about the flakey women on match.com.
Hi,
You all are True Cool--lol,Linda! Have to agree, and add that one of the things I like about 'cute lawyer', that I have Date 2 with tommorrow night, is that there are (so far!) no 'fibs' in his profile! I went back over mine with a fine-toothed combs, as I need to be held accountable for 'fibbage' as well. Nope, I was honest all the way! Aiight!
It Does apply to both women and men,we are not 'dissing on One gender; it just seems like More women come to the table with less of an 'agenda" (ie, getting laid!) Man, I HAVE to know more about someone before I sleep with them, but then, at 21, I Was "Texas Oldest Living Virgin" on my wedding day back in '77! It Still means something to me, as I am sure it does to all of you!
So, what exactly, DOES it mean to ya'll?.....
Truly,
Cupcake
(p.s. Linda, I went to high school In Dallas, and lived in Farmer's Branch for a while--loved it!)
i am sure if you ask a man they will say yeah they are looking for sex as well as companionship.. i think some women give it up too quick and then the man bolts on to the next.
"i think some women give it up too quick and then the man bolts on to the next."
I'll be 40 this year and I'll give it up whenever *I* feel like it. I actually am at the point where if he bolts, good riddance. I'll move on to the next too. I'm out to have sex for me, not for him. I've spent most my life waging that war within myself and quite honestly, I am not going to go through it anymore. Plus it didn't matter whether I held out or not. I've had relationships last either way.
We only go around once. Getcha some.
Lisa
>>Perhaps the entire issue is more about hordes of people without very good "people" skills, the loners or the mis-fits, as it were, are finding a place to be more social, TO A POINT.<<
That is a pretty da** good point. I think you might be right- and while I don't think that *everyone* on an OLD site is a social misfit, if there's a higher percentage of them doing OLD than you normally meet in real life, OLD is going to seem a lot worse than it really is.
Does that make sense? I hope so. I guess I'm saying that if 10-15% of people in real life are complete misfits, and in OLD 40-45% of them are, OLD is going to seem like it's just riddled with them and nearly everyone is because we're not used to coming across so many weirdoes.
In fact, it's NOT really riddled with them- it just seems like it.
>>Then once it gets to the nut-cuttin', as we say in Texas, they can't handle it.<<
That is a horrible expression, if the nuts are the ones I'm thinking of. It's a horrible expression, and I plan on using ASAP. :)
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