Had my 2nd date today
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| Sun, 01-07-2007 - 10:25pm |
So I had my 2nd date with the guy I went out with on Thursday. Things went pretty well. Our date lasted from 1pm to 8pm so thats good. He is a really good conversationalist and I have a good time talking with him. But, I'm not really feeling the romantic chemisty. Maybe I just need to give it more time to develop. I'm not sure.
There is one thing that is really bothering me though and I feel sorta stupid for letting it but I can't deny that is could be a real issue for me. He is an extremely pickey eater. He flat out told me this today. And I mean he only eats meat and potatoes, almost no veggies and likes everything plain. Some pickiness I can deal with but this is pretty extreme.
The reason this is an issue for me is because I'm pretty health concious when it comes to food (especially after losing 42 lbs on Weight Watchers) and I eat lots of veggies and fruit. I also really like cooking at home, trying new recipies and I make foods with lots of variety and veggies and stuff and I love going out to exotic restaurants.
I can't help but feel like his pickiness could be a problem for me. I know that going out to eat we can order different things, etc but one of the things I like to do is eat at home and cook good meals. This could totally change the way I cook around him and make it difficult for me. It's not like I'm going to make 2 dinners all the time or only eat steak, burgers and sandwiches. Ugghh.
I feel like this is a stupid, stupid reason to be turned off by a guy but I'm just really feeling like its going to be a problem, maybe not so much at first but for sure if we continue going because I will eventually get bored having to plan all meals/dates around what he likes to eat.
He's comming over for dinner at my house Wed and I'm cooking Taco's for him because I honestly can't think of much else I make that he will like. I live in MN and don't exactly grill much in the winter. :( I so wish he wasn't so pickey, I think maybe I would feel more chemisty then.
So yeah, am I being stupid or what?
Oh and the cop still hasn't called me. It's not uncommen for him to call after 10 so he still might but I'm pretty much thinking that it's probably over.
I'm just so frustrated with all of this dating. All I want is a nice guy who respects me, shares a good portion of my interests and wants to be with me. Is that so much to ask?!

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Yeah, I can see how that would bother you, but as you say, it's probably not a reason to break things off. If it ends up being the only issue, I'm sure you could find a way to work around it--he can just not eat the veggies you cook, LOL!
I apologize if this is an intrusive question--but why are you having him over to dinner so soon?
Sheri
Well... he sorta invited himself. He said he'd like for me to cook for him somemtime and said he could come over wed if that was ok. We are going to watch a movie and have dinner.
Honestly, I'm not really sure why I agreed to that so soon. I guess because I just feel really comfortable around him and it sounded like a nice relaxing time. He spent quite a bit of money on me today and I sorta feel like this is a way I can do something nice for him. Maybe I'm too trusting?
No. It is NOT a stupid concern. Take it from someone who was married for 20 years to a guy who would go on tiresome food fads and I had to cook around his diet. It can be very frustrating if you enjoy cooking and don't want to be cooking two different meals. Plus, if there are kids around, the kids with a picky eater adult for a model become picky eaters themselves.
I would suggest that you try to introduce this guy to healthy food and see if he is responsive. My brother, for example, used to be a very picky eater (meat, potatoes, rice and beans, tomato the only veggie, etc.) in his early 20's but from hanging out with a lot of more sophisticated eaters he is now quite normal if not adventurous in his eating. So guys can be trained if they are not obsessives (like my ex was, but I didn't know it).
Good luck. I agree that dating is a hassle except when you are just doing it for fun or when you are In Love with a Wonderful Guy (who is in love with you, of course).
Elsa
Oh, no...no, no, no. That is SO not cool! He *invited* himself over??? No.
I don't know about whether you're being too trusting but I would be very put off by that.
I know you've committed to it but don't be surprised if he puts the moves on you or if this becomes the new pattern for your dates (i.e., staying in).
Sheri
Edited 1/8/2007 12:04 am ET by neadvice
Yeah... I don't know if that will happen or not. Honestly... I'm not sure if it sorta implied he should come over for dinner or if it was him inviting himself. It was sort of a casual thrown out there kind of thing and I think it just kinda turned into a date by me saying "yeah that would be kinda fun." So it wasn't like he said "can I come over?" Hard to say exactly how it happend really. But I do remember him saying he wanted me to cook for him sometime and a few mins later in the conversation mentioned possibly getting together Wed. I must admit I wasn't really impressed with his choices of places to take me to lunch/dinner today either. We went to two sorta fast food places. Just kinda seemed to causal for a 2nd date ya know. I may be Nexting him afterall and not just for the picky eating. We'll see I guess.
The 3rd guy I've been emailing just sent me a super cool email tonight and I just found out he lives like 5 mins away from me. So maybe he will be a possible prospect.
OLD can be soo tireing and I've only been doing it for 3 months now. Did it for 7 a couple years ago but nothing really came of it that time.
And you know what (to the OP) I bet she's right on the money! Any guy who is that picky about his food... Might well be picky about *other things*.
Coolas
Well, unlike some of the others, I think this COULD be a problem down the road. I don't think you should "next" him for it right away, but I'd see how open he is to trying new things and restaurants. Because you are more healthy and more adventurous, it could get old really, really fast when he wants to go to Chili's every time you go out! Don't get me wrong, I like Chili's but you want some variety and to explore new places. If he's not willing to do that, you might resent him for it. Also, it could POTENTIALLY get you back into bad habits if you're not careful It sounds like you did awesome on your WW and that is incredible! But I have a friend who did WW, lost about 20 lbs before she got married. Her husband is a schlub that only likes to eat fattening food and a lot of it. To cater to him and because she didn't want to cook two meals (one healthy for her and something bad for him - or even let him get his own food!), she went back to the unhealthy eating habits she had before and has put all the weight back on plus more. Admittedly, she is an excuse maker and had all kinds of "reasons" why she didn't stay on her plan, but she DID do it.
So anyway, long story to make a point, but to me, this would be a big turnoff and I could see it becoming a bigger problem in the future.
I'm also alarmed that he's coming over to your house so soon. The third date is WAY too early in my book. I don't think it would be a big deal if you backed out saying maybe something along the lines that you thought about it and think it's a little early to be going to each other's homes.
Finally, I'm curious as to why you think these really long dates are "good"? I guess I can see that you mean that you made a connection and that you're having a lot of fun together, but also IMO, really long dates early on are a very BAD idea. I think it sets expectations and gives you a false sense of familiarity. Spending 7 hours together on a single date doesn't really lend itself to getting to know someone. And I think it makes you TOO comfortable with someone (thus you feeling comfortable and inviting him over). I think spending shorter amounts of time together over a few weeks is a better way and also makes you anticipate each other more. But JMHO.
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