Had my 2nd date today
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| Sun, 01-07-2007 - 10:25pm |
So I had my 2nd date with the guy I went out with on Thursday. Things went pretty well. Our date lasted from 1pm to 8pm so thats good. He is a really good conversationalist and I have a good time talking with him. But, I'm not really feeling the romantic chemisty. Maybe I just need to give it more time to develop. I'm not sure.
There is one thing that is really bothering me though and I feel sorta stupid for letting it but I can't deny that is could be a real issue for me. He is an extremely pickey eater. He flat out told me this today. And I mean he only eats meat and potatoes, almost no veggies and likes everything plain. Some pickiness I can deal with but this is pretty extreme.
The reason this is an issue for me is because I'm pretty health concious when it comes to food (especially after losing 42 lbs on Weight Watchers) and I eat lots of veggies and fruit. I also really like cooking at home, trying new recipies and I make foods with lots of variety and veggies and stuff and I love going out to exotic restaurants.
I can't help but feel like his pickiness could be a problem for me. I know that going out to eat we can order different things, etc but one of the things I like to do is eat at home and cook good meals. This could totally change the way I cook around him and make it difficult for me. It's not like I'm going to make 2 dinners all the time or only eat steak, burgers and sandwiches. Ugghh.
I feel like this is a stupid, stupid reason to be turned off by a guy but I'm just really feeling like its going to be a problem, maybe not so much at first but for sure if we continue going because I will eventually get bored having to plan all meals/dates around what he likes to eat.
He's comming over for dinner at my house Wed and I'm cooking Taco's for him because I honestly can't think of much else I make that he will like. I live in MN and don't exactly grill much in the winter. :( I so wish he wasn't so pickey, I think maybe I would feel more chemisty then.
So yeah, am I being stupid or what?
Oh and the cop still hasn't called me. It's not uncommen for him to call after 10 so he still might but I'm pretty much thinking that it's probably over.
I'm just so frustrated with all of this dating. All I want is a nice guy who respects me, shares a good portion of my interests and wants to be with me. Is that so much to ask?!

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I am wondering why do you need to work around his food preferences? When someone is that particular I figure that is up to him/her to deal with it not me. I am not here to please someone like that.
I am a parent and thank god my children are not like that. They have learned to fend for themselves if they don't like what I eat and I eat healthy foods. In fact my 17 yr old son commented that he likes visiting me because I have healthy food at home.
Now in my mind, I can do this with the children I love then I can do this with any other person who comes into my house.
Mark
Yea this is exactly how I feel about the pickiness. It isn't so much of a problem now but I can see it becoming one down the road as I eventually get bored not being able to go to restaurants I like or cooking meals that I like when I'm with him. Sure you can work around that to some degree, but I'm definitely the type of person that likes variety and am a bit adventrous in my eating. I am also the type of person that is easily infulenced by what others eat. I'm more tempted to create bad habits around others that have bad habits and I've come so far in my weight loss to risk gaining it all back. I know it is up to me to control that, but its a lot easier to give in when that stuff is right in front of you all the time.
I don't think I'm going to "Next" him just yet. I do want to get to know him better and just see if chemistry develops. Honestly thats the part that bothers me the most, is that I feel more of a friendly level than a romantic level with him. And, I didn't really feel like he tried very hard to plan a nice date by taking me to fast food type of places and then inviting himself over for dinner Wed. If I like him enough I'm hoping I can come up with a way to be ok with the eating habits.
I'm seriously considering backing out on the "cooking him dinner" and doing what you suggested. I normally don't invite people over this early in the releationship. It ususally takes me a couple weeks to several more dates before I have them over. I just hope he will understand. I kinda got caught off guard when he invited himself over and didn't really think it through.
As far as the thinking long dates are a good idea, I see what you mean, but they weren't exactly planned to be long. The first date was just dinner and I had no idea that much time had gone by when I looked at my watch. Yesterday's date, we had planned to go to lunch and then snow tubing which is a 2-3 hour activity by itself. By the time we got done snow tubing it was dinner time and we were both hungry so decided to get something to eat. Conversation got going and I lost track of time again. So I guess the reason I feel that is good is because I was able to have such a good time I had no concept of time. Does that make sense? I don't usually plan super long dates right at the beginning of a relationship. It just sorta ended up that way.
The guy I dated for many years was a real tighta$$ when it came to money. I was lucky to get Hardee's or McDonald's at times. Even then, he wanted us to have coupons to eat there. This guy had plenty of money too. Anyway, that was a long time ago.
One of the first things I find out about a guy is if they like Chinese food since that is my favorite ethnic type of food, and it's something I can eat often and not get tired of. I feel bad for my friends who have husbands or boyfriends who won't eat it. That was one of the few places my long-time guy would take me to since he loved Chinese food as much as I did. I'm not a huge fan of Mexican, mainly because it hurts my stomach. I remember that one really bad blind double date I had in 2005 when we went to the Mexican place after my friend had asked me the day before about it. I told her I had a hard time with it, but I could take something beforehand if they really wanted to go there. So, not only was the guy a no-go for me, the food was only tolerable. I seldom even eat at Taco Bell much for the same reason.
I think it's interesting what are dealbreakers for people. Mark (guy I dated for over 3 months) had an aversion to recycling, although he did start to do it a bit if only to appease me. I'm a huge advocate about recycling and he was the 2nd guy who seemed to make fun of my passion for it. I remember the one guy who I dated for about 3 weeks kept telling me that it cost more to recycle than to make more plastic or glass, etc. I was actually kind of ticked off when he insisted on throwing our plastic drink bottles in a service station trash bin instead of letting me take them home to recycle. I later told my family that I thought that I needed to add a disclaimer to my profile that said "Must LOVE recycling!" :0
RE: <>
I am not sure if you meant this question for me or the original poster. My situation is that I *had* a husband (past tense, EX-husband) who was a very picky eater and his pickiness made it difficult to plan a lot of meals. He was also a bad example for the kids.
I felt I needed to accommodate his needs because I was the cook in our household and I wanted him to eat what I cooked. Also, I loved him. When we were first married and for many years of the marriage I wanted him to be happy and enjoy my cooking.
Luckily that is all over. I just mentioned it in response to the OP's concern about whether a picky eater was a bad thing or not. I'd say it's not (by itself) a reason to next the guy, but I think that it is definitely a "minus."
Elsa
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