Had a nice first meet and then...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2008
Had a nice first meet and then...
6
Mon, 08-30-2010 - 10:37pm

the guy stood up and has a fairly pronounced belly! Eww. Tall and thin, was seated when I arrived, pleasant to talk to, discussed a 2nd date.... danggit! This is something that's probably going to bother me. Is it okay to tell someone you've changed your mind about meeting again? Or just go through with it and see what happens. Nothing's been set in stone yet.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2008
Tue, 08-31-2010 - 5:39pm

I say go through with the second meet...you never know what might happen. Maybe nothing...maybe something. Maybe a new friend...maybe more or less. Who knows...but IMHO you should give it a chance.


When I first met my hubs I was not impressed...at all. If I had turned down that second date I would have missed out on my soul mate...all because he

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2010
Wed, 09-01-2010 - 3:25pm

I think you should go out one more time. Something about him may overpower the belly fat....I respect that we are all so imperfect and I know that if it's going to bother you then you have a right to move on but make sure you have gotten to know a bit more about him before you do so. Maybe he has a reason for it to be that way....

I wish you luck. I am a woman of weight and disability and I would hope that someone would see that it all and see what a phenomenal and caring woman I am. (They don't normally....)

Sandy

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2010
Wed, 09-15-2010 - 11:12pm

I am torn on this one. My first thought was to give it one more try and go on the second date and see how it goes. My next thought was if that belly bugs you now when you don't really know him, will it bother you more....or less.....after you get to know him? Physical attraction, whether we like it or not, is important.

I know I am late with this post...did you go out again?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2008
Wed, 09-15-2010 - 11:55pm

I did not...he emailed me the next day and said he had a nice time and would like to take me out again. I replied that much as I also had a nice time, I didn't feel we would make a good match. I was surprised when he emailed after that note and said, "thanks for your honesty, and good luck!"

He had hinted at the end of the date that he'd probably want to see me again and wondered what I thought, which is why I just recently asked if you should let them know right then, or the next day or what. Kind of put on the spot! I said it sounded good, )which was true, that was before he stood up!

What I finally decided was that (like you said) I realized if something about him bugged me already, something fairly important (to me anyway), chances were it would always bug me and that's all I'd think about the 2nd time out!

Anyway, I have a date tomorrow night and these 1st meets are getting easier all the time :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2010
Thu, 09-16-2010 - 12:08am

It seems like you did the right thing. Like I said, physical attraction is important as far as I'm concerned. I don't think I am the only one out there who thinks that too.

I found that all the men I rejected via email were all very kind and also thanked me for being honest and wished me luck. Not that there was anything "wrong" with them, they were all nice. There was just either no connection or physical attraction. I found during my online dating experience that there are so many profiles with ancient photos of the people looking for dates. I'm sorry but I wanted to see what they looked like now. NOT what they were 20 years ago. What's up with that??

Good luck tomorrow on your date. It only took me about 4 months but I found a keeper on match.com and I am over the moon happy. I hope you have the same luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2008
Fri, 09-17-2010 - 12:13am

Hey the date went well and he asked if he could call again! I said sure :) Funny thing is, this guy is also what I would consider overweight, but not in the same way as the other guy. He's stocky to begin with, so it's more like he's expanded all over, not just a little round basketball out front. Since we had quite a bit more in common than the other guy, I'm more open to seeing him again. Kind of nice for a change - haven't been on a 2nd date in ages!

Both he and the other guy I talked about said that several of the women they had met off POF had severely outdated photos! I know men do that frequently, but it really surprises me that women do too! Why would anyone want to misrepresent themselves? It's not like the guy (or girl) isn't going to see what you look like once you meet...and yes, it will change their opinion of you, no matter how good you think you 'clicked' on line or how good the profile!

Come on people, be honest with what you look like! Physical attraction really is a major part of finding someone you connect with.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2010
Fri, 09-17-2010 - 12:26am

I am glad to hear of your nice date! When is the second date?

I agree about the photos and when I had my profile on match I even made a statement about having current photos. I don't give a rat's butt what you looked like 30 years ago. I want to see you now. Who I am to expect to show up on the date. Not who you used to be. My cousin just put up a profile on match and she has about 10 photos. Two current head shots and about 8 from about 1980. What's up with that? OK, in 1980 you looked good but that 1980 girl isn't the one showing up on the date. She is actually a little hefty now but you can't see that in the head shots.

It used to irk me too when men put up photos of themselves with other women. How is that supposed to attract a potential partner?
Turned me right off. Don't know about anyone else.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2009
Fri, 09-17-2010 - 6:21am

I have this "friend" (accquaintence) who for YEARS has been doing OLD. She is 38, single , never married, & just desperate. Very sad actually.



You should SEE her pics on Match! In real life she is about a size 18. She MOST certainly doesnt look that on line. They are either all head shots or, VERY old shots. Like 4-5 yrs old & 60# ago. Its crazy!



She also, sadly, is very unkempt. Her clothes are wrinkled , dont fit, gap at buttons, her hair is a MESS (way over processed & always looks ratty) --- I sound horrible saying all thsi but its trus --- Yet, teh pics on Mathc totally mirepresent her b/c she looks cute & sporty. I guess she USED TO BE that way, but nto anymore.



She has date after date after date -

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