Had a really bad night....

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2004
Had a really bad night....
12
Thu, 11-03-2005 - 4:58am

Just want to say thanks for all your replys. I read and re-read them.

Last night I think was my breaking point. From the time I left work, till late at night, I just cried and cried. I had my son worried, my family, that wasn't right. I feel bad this morning for making them think something was wrong with me.

I know I have to just let this go since I will never know the "why". Thats just the hard part. Never knowing...

I have to realize it wasnt something that I did, its just him. A "loser".

I have to focus on the bad now, how much of a loser he really is.

Any pointers??

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2004
Thu, 11-03-2005 - 1:12pm

You are so right on the nose. I have been thinking of that. He took a complete 180 degree turn in 1 day. That is why. It is just so confusing and it drives me crazy trying to figure out why.

But I will NEVER know the why, I just have to move on, somehow....

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2001
Thu, 11-03-2005 - 1:49pm

Yes, it is bad to fall for someone too quickly, and sometimes you both seem to "click" right off the bat. That can be scarry for both people, but keep in mind the saying; "Be careful of what you wish for (or pray for), you just might get it".

My experience with men has been this..either I really knew right from the start that we were not a match (and I think they knew this also) OR we both seemed to click right away. When it's the latter, it's easy to think that this one "might" be the one, whether you're looking for marriage, long-term commitment, or just a steady dating relationship. More times than not, it's the GUY who gets cold feet, starts back peddling and ends up making excuses as to why he's suddenly got second thoughts. You're lucky if you get ANY kind of explanation when their behavior takes a turn for the worse. Then, usually the woman is left hanging, feeling like she has done something wrong, or done something to push the guy away. This same scenario is played over and over again in life. You read about it almost daily here on the board, but the facts speak for themselves. There are a lot of men out there who simply do not know what they want. They present themselves (at least in their profiles) as wanting a long-term relationship, but in reality that isn't what they want and many wouldn't recognize a decent woman if she stood in front of him.

I personally don't have much patience for men who lie, misrepresent themselves or "waffle" when it comes to women. Women who tolerate such behavior do set themselves up for a let-down though. I've been one of them, but as I gain more wisdom and knowledge about myself and the world of dating, I am finding that it is much more rewarding to respect yourself rather than try to "fix" someone who has some major personality flaws. But learning to handle rejection and disappointment is the hard part of dating and it isn't limited to a certain age group or sect of people. Anyone who has a heart is likely to be hurt at some point in time.

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