had "the talk" with Teddy over the wkend

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2005
had "the talk" with Teddy over the wkend
23
Tue, 11-29-2005 - 3:13pm
forget it


Edited 11/30/2005 7:48 pm ET by kae_n_me

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Tue, 11-29-2005 - 10:38pm

Ok, help me and my dull memory out here... is this the same guy who went out and was interacting with another female as though he was dating her?


Sorry... I try to keep everyone straight, but have not found out the way to!


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2005
Wed, 11-30-2005 - 5:22am
No its not the guy you think, this is a completely different person.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Wed, 11-30-2005 - 7:50am
Oh ok... so can someone fill me in? :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Wed, 11-30-2005 - 8:00am

Kae - is it the guy that you weren't that attracted too but liked for other reasons and wanted to keep seeing him to see if feelings developed?


He sounds very sweet.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2005
Wed, 11-30-2005 - 9:21am
Yes, this is the same guy. We have been casually dating since the beginning of September, and it has been nothing but a platonic friendship. But now things are looking like they might heat up... =)
I mean I still have reservations, but they are normal reservations that most people have before diving into a full-fleged relationship. I am still keeping my options open, simply because we have never talked about being exclusive. But he is a great guy, and I can tell that he cares about me and that he wants to give this a shot.
He insists on paying for our dinners ( I have offered to pay and he won't let me), he calls me and tells me about his day and incorporates me into his life and what's going on with it. He is supportive with my problems with my son and his father...It's going great.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2005
Wed, 11-30-2005 - 11:51am
Wishing you the best Kae
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-30-2005 - 1:44pm

I'm glad that you were finally able to discuss this with him. Two things that jumped out at me though...not red flags, just things to keep in mind. One was that this conversation took place by text messaging...I'm a firm believer in face to face conversations for this type of thing. The second is whether he suffers from insecurity and/or low self-esteem...I mean, really, how could he NOT know you like him...you keep saying yes when he asks you out, don't you??? So I would keep an eye out for other signs that he might not be emotionally healthy in that respect.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Wed, 11-30-2005 - 1:55pm

Here's wishing you the best... :o)


Keep us posted as to what happens!


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2005
Wed, 11-30-2005 - 2:57pm
I don't think he is emotionally unstable- I just think he is shy and a true gentleman. Plus I don't think there is anything wrong with text messages for certain conversation topic that may be stressful for one of the parties. He understands that I have come out of a very bad relationship and he was trying to give me my space and allow us to develop a friendship which is very important. If anything I believe he is very emotionally stable.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-30-2005 - 3:14pm

Just to clarify, I don't think "emotionally unstable" and "emotionally unhealthy" are the same thing. It's a matter of degree, and IMO the first is quite a bit worse than the 2nd.

To me, shyness is a sign that someone may not be fully emotionally healthy, because shyness is usually caused by insecurity and/or self-esteem issues.

But, as I said in my previous post, that may or may not be the case here. It's just something to be aware of and keep in the back of your mind.

As for the text messaging, I don't agree with your viewpoint but different viewpoints are what makes the world go 'round, right ;-)?

Sheri

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