Handling this situation?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2005
Handling this situation?
9
Wed, 06-01-2005 - 6:45pm
I met a very nice man from an OLD site last night. I liked his personality, but we are definitely not a match. He sent an email to me today stating that he hopes we can do it again. How do I respond without hurting his feelings?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Wed, 06-01-2005 - 7:11pm

Send an email, "on further reflection I don't think we are a good match. Please take this as final."

Send, block his email address. Never mind his feelings, he most likely has other prospects.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Wed, 06-01-2005 - 7:29pm

Treat him as you want to be treated... I would let him know that you think he's a wonderful man, and that you enjoyed his company, but don't think the two of you are a match as far as a relationship. A spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down... (at least Mary Poppins thought so!)


Hope this helps. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Wed, 06-01-2005 - 9:04pm

Please take this as final


Why be that cold about it ? Sure if he comes back and tries to change her mind but not with the first email saying they aren't a match - that's not called for.


Why not "I enjoyed your company but I don't think a relationship between us would work. I hope you find what you're looking for"


MS
A man's got to do what a man's got to do.
A woman must do what he can't.

MS
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2005
Wed, 06-01-2005 - 9:16pm
I basically told him that I enjoyed spending time with him and that he seems like a nice man but that I don't really think we're a match. I wished him luck, too.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Wed, 06-01-2005 - 9:27pm
I think that's great. :)

Kerry


If you keep doing what you're doing, you'll keep getting what you're getting... -- Les Brown

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Thu, 06-02-2005 - 12:23am

Nine times out of ten, someone will email back with comments, questions, etc. Best to cut communication off entirely with one shot.

Why waste people's time?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
Thu, 06-02-2005 - 5:09am
I agree. I used to think it crazy to be rather direct. After all didn't people realize that this was all part of the "risk" of online dating? That is until I got my first nasty-gram from someone who I sent a "no thanks" email to. Now I will never send a thanks but no thanks after the first meet (I just don't contact). I always block the email address of anyone who I've had to send a no thanks to. An amazing number of people will come back and email again down the road.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2005
Thu, 06-02-2005 - 6:36am
Well, I think I was pretty clear and we had been emailing each other at least once a day for a week and I haven't heard from him, so I think he got the message.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2004
Thu, 06-02-2005 - 9:38am

That amazes me too. Pride alone would prevent me from contacting someone who said "thanks but no thanks."