Have you been addressed in a profile?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2005
Have you been addressed in a profile?
5
Thu, 05-19-2005 - 10:19pm

So it goes something like this. You dated him for a while. Maybe it was a long term relationship, maybe quite brief. For whatever reason, it didn't last and you've parted ways.

You visit an OLD site, and discover (once again) his profile. But it's been updated. This is the new and improved version. So you read and notice a few things. Perhaps a reference was made to a certain quirk that sounds like it could be you. Or maybe you're discovering for the first time how much he really hated that dog of yours.

Though it seemed to be an amicable breakup, you've become suspicious of why you've become a bit of a reference point in his online profile. Has this ever happened to you?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Fri, 05-20-2005 - 12:06am

Oh yeah, one guy did this to me. And I know darn well he was talking about me.

This guy I dated a few years ago - I met him from OLD. We dated for about five months. And by that time I knew he wasn't the one for me. His favorite passtime was sitting at his computer playing games. And I don't mean he did this once in a while. I mean it was every night. Our dates consisted of me going over to his place, and him sitting in front of the computer while I watched television. Wow. Exciting.

I tried to get him to go out with me. I wanted to see "Mulholland Drive." He wouldn't do it. I tried to convince him to go with the enticement that there was even a lesbian scene in the movie. He still wouldn't go. He'd much rather sit in front of his games.

I shortly thereafter broke it off with him. He was SOO boring.

I later saw his profile back up. And it said something like, "I don't think couples have to do EVERYTHING together to make a good couple."

Sheesh. "EVERYTHING"?? Dang. I wanted him to GET OUT OF THE HOUSE ONCE IN A WHILE.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Fri, 05-20-2005 - 12:38pm

I have had this happen to me too. But it wasn't after the breakup - it was while we were still dating!! We were not exclusive and had actually met IRL not online but we both had profiles on Match. Well, he always used to tease me about how many pairs of shoes I had and seemed amazed that I needed so many pairs of black shoes (we counted once and it was 13!). I explained to him that I wore different ones with different outfits and that women were always shopping around for that "perfect pair of shoes". Well, he took this and made it an analogy for dating and made his headline something about "shopping around for that perfect pair of shoes". I called him on it because I told him that while we were not exclusive and he was perfectly free to keep dating, I would prefer it if he did not use MY quotes to find other women! He apologized and changed it. Oh and BTW, I wasn't checking up on him - he came in my mutual matches so I decided to take a look and lo and behold, found that.

After we broke up, he referred to me again. Right around the time we broke up, he became distant and just kind of drifted off. I asked him about it and he kind of blew it off saying that he just wasn't ready for a relationship but I said I'd like to talk about it and in person if possible because I wanted to understand. We did, things seemed to go well but we agreed to part ways. A few days later in his profile (OK, THIS time I was checking up on him) he said something about he didn't want a girl who "talked for the sake of talking" pretty much referring to our conversation where I wanted to talk to him in person instead of breaking up on the phone with no real explanation. Jerk.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2005
Fri, 05-20-2005 - 1:33pm

happyjustme...


Pianoguy doesn't think there's a generic answer to your question.


EVERYBODY'S DIFFERENT...and as most contributors to this board can verify....AN ON-LINE DATING experience can last indefinitely---or completely end

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2004
Fri, 05-20-2005 - 2:03pm

<<...a better option than going through an awkward 4-hour date where (as hard as you look)...THERE'S NO PLACE TO PUKE!>>

LMAO PG!!! Loved it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2003
Fri, 05-20-2005 - 7:49pm

It didn't happen TO me....I put stuff like that in my profile! LOL

After dating someone for a few months, not exclusive, and going on a few dates and emails/phone stuff during that time with other guys as well, I was soooooooo !@#$%$#!@Q$^%^&*(&^&$#!@ TIRED of hearing men whine about their last girlfriend, their ex-fiance, the girlfriend they just broke up with...etc.

Finally, I put something in both my MAtch and Yahoo profiles that said, "Please, if you are still feeling confused or hurt or angry about any of your past relationships then pick up the phone and call your best friend. Don't email me looking to talk about that kind of thing or to make someone else jealous." (Can't remember exact words but that was pretty close).

And yep, one of those guys picked up on it when he saw the changes and you BET I said that yes, it was in response to time I had spent with him!!!! Of course, I wasn't a total bitch because I didn't say it was also all about the few other guys I met during that time, too. Heehee!

~xrg