Is he blowing me off?
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| Mon, 07-03-2006 - 10:44am |
I met a guy online back in May. We hit it off instantly on the phone…our phone conversations usually lasted three hours and we talked several times a week. He wanted to meet sooner, but I made him wait a month. We finally met in person Sunday before last. Our first date was incredible…easy conversation and the chemistry was definitely there…at the end of the seven hour date…he asked when he could see me again. I told him to call me and could make plans. He called me the next night (Mon) and asked me out for the next night. We planned to do the typical dinner and a movie thing.
I met him at his house on Tuesday and went for a quick bit to eat…trying to make the movie... I asked if he mind if we just watched a movie at his house rather than rushing…
We had a wonderful time just hanging out…we never put the movie on…we slow danced and just cuddled. Of course things did get a little hot and heavy on the couch, and I slowed things down a few times…He was assertive but never pushy…I told him that although I was attracted to him I did not want to rush into anything. He told me that he understood and we didn’t have to do anything that I wasn’t comfortable with…
I became a hypocrite when I ended up in his bed a few hours later…we did not sleep together…but there was some extra curricular activity…I stopped it at that to which he responded “I don’t care if we have sex, I just want to be with you.” We feel asleep in each other’s arm…I woke up a few hours later and made an attempt to get out of bed...he grabbed my arm and pulled me back down onto the bed asking me not to leave. We set the alarm and went back to sleep. When we woke up he was very affectionate…even with my morning breath and all…he walked me to my car and hugged and kissed me goodbye…he said that he would call me….
Well, he never called. Wednesday morning was the last time I spoke to him. I know that he was going out of town for the holiday…it is not uncommon for us to go a few days and not speak with our busy schedules, but I feel like I have been blown off. Was he looking for an easy hook-up? Does a guy usually talk to a girl for a month if that is what he is looking for?
We did agree before we met that if it wasn't going to work out...that we would call and let the person know...
What do you think?

That's why regardless of the outcome you should try not to put yourself in a situation where "anything could happen" meaning kiss him at the door and wish him a good night there. I would not have agreed to staying in with a movie rental on the second date, that is code for trying to have sex - not in all cases but most. I would have said I feel more comfortable going to a movie, maybe after I get to know you better. If he's a gentleman he will respect that and not question it.
If your fine with "hooking up" knowing he may never call then great but it sounds like your like me, you get attached, makes you feel closer and naturally your expectations are much higher i.e. wondering when he will call, if you messed around too soon etc. If a guy is really into you my personal opinion is he would have called you before he left or at the very least left you an email, to me this speaks volumes. Most guys know that after you hook up it's proper to call the girl the next day - sort of universal. Nonetheless, no expecations, he's not your BF and he doesn't owe you anything so as hard as it is keep dating others as if he is never going to ask you out again and maybe next time keep this info in your head if you decide to get intimate with someone before the time is right. Sucks, but that's why it's better to go slow this way you don't start reading into things and questioning yourself. You did NOTHING wrong...
Ms. Peanut
Edited 7/3/2006 3:36 pm ET by small_peanut2005