He called...

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2005
He called...
6
Sun, 02-26-2006 - 2:03pm

He just called, and the first thing he did was to "explain". He sounded nervous, and said that he was working yesterday. Then quickly started saying that he hasn't been feeling well this weekend, and it's one of those times when he just didn't feel like doing much. Ok, do I see red flags here? He was working but he didn't feel like doing much? Anyways, he was trying to say (at least I figured) that he stayed home yesterday. I don't know him enough to decide if he's lying or not.
So I asked if he is feeling better and still wanted to see the movie. He said may be not tonight, but sometime in the week. So we decided Wednesday. He said that he'll have a presentation Wed. morning. So I said if he's going to be too tired after that, we can just do the weekend instead. Then he said that he will be exited about it, so he won't be tired.
Then towards the end of the call, he suddently asked me to may be meet for coffee tonight. I told him sure if that's what he wants.

Why is he so confused? He starts to act fishy and not so mature (as my first impression of him was). After all this, it is clear that I should keep things slow and just get to know him first!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
In reply to: bigidig
Sun, 02-26-2006 - 2:29pm

Honestly I think you're giving him way too much room to cancel. If you made a date Wednesday and then he asks for coffee today, just let him know you have plans. Keep the Wednesday date and hold him to it.


I would definitely not drag this out by talking more and getting to know him better, etc. If he's going to iffy now, he'll be iffy in the future too. What you're gleaming from him now is what you can come to expect in the future...


Hope this helps. And definitely let us know what shakes out from this...


Kerry

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-1999
In reply to: bigidig
Sun, 02-26-2006 - 5:33pm
I would just try to take things slow and make sure you're being careful about getting overly caught up with thoughts and feelings until you know him better. It sounds like at this point your feelings might be a little bit ahead of where his are at.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
In reply to: bigidig
Sun, 02-26-2006 - 7:50pm
I would not have too much hope in this getting serious.
He seems like someone with issues. Just so that yuo dont regret it meet him another time but if you feel he is still iffy about another date Next him!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2005
In reply to: bigidig
Sun, 02-26-2006 - 11:13pm

He called tonight around 8pm, and said that he wasn't feeling well, so no coffee. Then he asked if I'd like to go to his place for BBQ on Wednesday (instead of the movie). I said ok.

Now thinking about it, his bahavior this weekend was really not something that I can look pass when I'm trying to get to know him. Should I confront him? He said he'll call me on Tuesday to confirm, I can either tell him on the phone then, or tell him face to face on Wednesday. Should I even go on Wednesday?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
In reply to: bigidig
Sun, 02-26-2006 - 11:28pm

Call me suspicious, but I am always hesitant when a date turns from an outside date to an in-my-apartment one. How you want to handle his behavior this weekend depends on what you ultimately want from him. I would mention it in a non-hostile manner, but be very cautious going forward.


I also would move that date back outside. I don't really trust this guy. (Not that I'm the one that needs to! LOL)


Kerry

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2005
In reply to: bigidig
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 12:03am
Hey Kerry, thanks for your advice. I think I'll mention about it on Wednesday when I see him. I still think I need to know him better to figure out what I want from him. As long as I will keep my distance on Wednesday, I know him at least well enough that he won't force me to do anything I don't want. Wednesday will be his last chance with me, and I will mention about this past weekend at that point.