He has a high, nasal, old-sounding voice

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2006
He has a high, nasal, old-sounding voice
15
Fri, 12-22-2006 - 9:50pm

My west coast friend called today. He was just as interesting and amusing on the phone as he is in e-mail. But his voice was a real disappointment.

I'm telling myself I shouldn't be so picky. The guy is obviously intelligent, very lively and interesting, apparently successful in his career, etc. Does he have to have a great speaking voice also?

We talked for a long time. After the initial shock of his voice, I got used to it. Sort of. After about 45 minutes I ended the conversation with an excuse that I had to do something. I thought 45 min was long enough, and I wanted to think.

So--- I don't know. We agreed that he will call me again Sunday (Christmas Eve). He talked some more of what we would do when he came in town. (I had to insist that we meet just for lunch or coffee the first time and then a proper dinner date for the next time. That way if we don't hit it off in person...)

I like him. He's interesting and fun to talk to. He seems a decent guy who could be a friend. I'm just not sure that I can be attracted to a man with such a high nasal voice. I'm also wondering if he really is only 55 because he sounded more like over 70 on the phone.

Oh well. I am disappointed, but I knew it was too good to be true. However, I will give it a chance. Maybe on Sunday he will sound better.

Elsa

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2006
Fri, 12-22-2006 - 10:33pm
HAHA! I so know how you feel..I have been there! Let us know how Sunday goes..hmm maybe you were just tired and hearing things..haha wishful thinking huh? Good LUCK!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2006
Fri, 12-22-2006 - 11:37pm

Something that always sticks with me is that Dr. Phil says that you should try to find someone who has 80% of what you are looking for. That statement just always stays with me for some reason. Maybe think about that? Aside from his voice, is he at least 80% of what you're looking for?

Keep us posted!

Pink

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2006
Sat, 12-23-2006 - 12:05am

Yeah, we'll see what he sounds like on Sunday. Maybe the phone lines made him sound worse or something.

The thing is, he is a large man. (I've wondered if he is too large, as in morbidly obese, but he is definitely a tall man at 6'2".) So the voice isn't what you'd expect, you know?

I won't know about his appearance until he comes into town in January. (That is, if he doesn't "ghost" when the time comes to meet or if one of us doesn't decide before we meet that we're not a good "match.") But hearing his voice was a good thing, because it helps pull me back to the reality that this guy may not be attractive in person.

Elsa

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2006
Sat, 12-23-2006 - 12:25am

Hi Pink,

I won't know until I meet him and get to know him. For me, it's not so much what percentage of my "ideal" a guy satisfies but how it all balances out.

Some things I want have a lot of weight. For instance, I really want intelligence, education and a sense of humor. Let's say I have a list of ten things. These are only three, but they weigh a lot. So does being a non-smoker. Say these are only 40% but they are essentially deal breakers.

Then there are things which are important, but which I can live without if everything else is good. I don't have a particular type I "must" have, but I prefer certain things and I want to avoid certain others. I guess the voice falls into this category. If the voice is the only thing in this category, and the other, more important "must haves" are there, then the voice alone shouldn't make a difference.

On the other hand, if several other things in this secondary category aren't right, the unpleasant voice will add up with the others to a "this guy is not for me."

But I won't know until (if) I meet him.

Elsa

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2008
Sat, 12-23-2006 - 1:09am

Oh no! I had to laugh when I read your posting.


I definitely get your equation on how you decide if someone is right for you. I hope it all balances out and he's a good one.


Keep us posted!


Devorah

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Sat, 12-23-2006 - 10:38am

Oh no! I understand. I am big on voices too. I appreciate a deep, strong voice and the wimpy ones really turn me off.

Well, I hope that if you do meet in person that he turns out to be just as nice of a guy as you've already encountered on email. Good call on the lunch or coffee meeting for the first one as opposed to dinner, though. A voice isn't everything but I definitely understand your disappointment. Maybe he was nervous or something or doesn't speak as well on the phone as in person. Give it a shot but if you don't get over it, you don't. And he can be a good friend.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2006
Sat, 12-23-2006 - 4:03pm

well you could attribute it to a cold perhaps...but if you get a wierd feeling lisaten to that little voice...it has been my experience that that little voice is typically the voice of reason and sensibility....

let us know what happens...

cheers
Sarah

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
Sat, 12-23-2006 - 7:29pm
To give you some encouragement, I didn't really like the sound of my new boyfriends voice when I talked to him on the phone for the first time. His picture was adorable, he seemed like a great person and we shared a lot of good emails back and forth then the phone call came and although the conversation was really good and we connected well I didn't like the sound of his voice and was disappointed. It was pretty high and dorky and sounded different from most men's voices. I decided to meet up with him anyway because he was very cute and seemed very sweet and cool and told myself I shouldn't worry about the voice thing well......I wasn't disappointed at all. There was definately an attraction there and I forgot about the voice thing after meeting up with him in person. It took me a little bit to get used to his different sounding voice but I think it was because I expected a deeper voice because he "looks like he would have a deep voice". But over 2 months later we are in a very happy/healthy relationship. I'm very attracted to him and he treats me so well and we are both in love. I couldn't be happier and I'm starting to really like his voice now because it's endearing to me and a part of him and it just wouldn't be him if he didn't have the voice that he has.
So with that being said, you have nothing to lose with giving it a shot and meeting up with him. Who knows you could be attracted to him anyway regardless of how his voice sounds.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2006
Tue, 12-26-2006 - 6:09pm

Well, We didn't get to talk much on Xmas Eve because he called when I was in the middle of cooking and then I called him back when he was about to go for a drive with his daughter. So we just exchanged greetings and good wishes. Yesterday my kids and I drove to my aunt's six hours away, and I just got back this afternoon, but he is supposed to call me tonight or tomorrow.

The voice still sounded high and nasal, but it wasn't impossible. I have flaws too, so if everything else is good I am certainly not going to reject the possibility of knowing him better just because of his voice.

Elsa

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2006
Tue, 12-26-2006 - 6:15pm

Hi Devorah,

I admit I had to laugh too. It's too ridiculous that here I am worrying I'm not going to like him in person because he will be so grotesquely obese, and yet it's his voice that gets to me. Funny, I like deep voices, but most of the men in my life who have found me attractive have had high voices. My son has a low voice (takes after my father and my brother) but his father (my ex) had a high voice.

This guy's voice is not just high but nasal, and maybe it was the phone lines, but it sounded older than 50-ish.

We'll see. Thanks for the words of support.

Elsa

Pages