He has a *spreadsheet*

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2005
He has a *spreadsheet*
12
Sun, 01-01-2006 - 10:22pm

Apologizes for the multiple posts tonight, but I've just been talking to a guy from Yahoo - and this beats everything I've ever seen.

He has a spreadsheet.

The first column lists his "ideal woman". Subsequent columns are for the women he meets online - a scorecard, I suppose.

And I don't think it's a joke.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2004
Mon, 01-02-2006 - 8:41am

I've read lots of online dating advice that suggest this... helps you keep track when dating multiple people.

There is a book called "How to Date Like a Man" that offers this up, too - the premise is that you make the list BEFORE you go out so you keep sight of the qualities that you are looking for by checking them off the list after the date.

That way you don't get blindsided by the hottie with the drinking problem.

I don't think I'd tell my DATES about it, however...

T

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Mon, 01-02-2006 - 9:37am

Um, he's just taking a scientific approach to finding himself a woman.

I know somebody who had a rating system. He dated hundreds of women. He was good looking, intelligent and relatively nice guy. He also made good money and lived in NYC where there were many available pretty women. He married a pretty heiress to a mayonnaise fortune. I am really not kidding about this guy.

He lives in a huge house out in Connecticut now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2005
Mon, 01-02-2006 - 9:41am

Um, he's just taking a scientific approach to finding himself a woman.


I don't know, I've never had trouble keeping people straight.


I don't think I explained the spreadsheet very well - the first column was his ideal woman, weight, height, education, hair color, etc, and then how the women did against that.


It's not something you should be SHOWING your dates. That's just rude and shallow.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2005
Mon, 01-02-2006 - 10:54am

>I've read lots of online dating advice that suggest
>this... helps you keep track when dating multiple people.

You are dating too many people if you need a spreadsheet to keep track of them all....how RIDICULOUS!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Mon, 01-02-2006 - 11:12am

I completely disagree. When I am in communication stage with several guys, I often have a hard time keeping them all straight and what I have said to who and who said what to me, what they do, where they live, if they have kids, yadda, yadda. When you are trying to get to know several people at once, it is VERY difficult to keep all the facts straight. So I don't see anything wrong with keeping a spreadsheet to keep them straight.

I also don't see much wrong with this guy's spreadsheet and it sounds very similar to what chamey was talking about. Yes, I am sure he is far too picky and may never find taht "ideal" but to have a list of characteristics you are looking for and to compare each person you meet to that list of characteristics? Well, honestly, isn't that what we ALL do? Mabe not in quite this way, but everyone has their "ideal" is and aren't we all out to find it and compare each person we have to what we're looking for? But yes, I also don't think I would TELL my dates about it. That is rude. But to do it in the first place? Just a more accurate and detailed way of what everyone does when they are dating.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2005
Mon, 01-02-2006 - 12:08pm
I can see the merit of keeping notes when there are too many details to commit to memory, like kids, what they do and where they live. But do you use it as a grading system? I would imagine the only people on your spreadsheet already fit what you are looking for. After what I have read here (and from my own experience), it's hard enough finding ONE person through OLD let alone so many that a spreadsheet is required.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2005
Mon, 01-02-2006 - 1:21pm

I've done the "too many dates in two weeks" sort of thing as well and kept a note card (not an actual spreadsheet) such as:

Joe, 34, Hermosa Beach, Lawyer

Kevin 37, Calabasas, Real Estate Agent

Tom, 36, Santa Monica, Finance Guy

However, I will say usually when I'm dating like this (a lot of guys) I never meet anyone, it's usually when things are slow and one pops out of nowhere......

I would say in short, it's quality not quantity and you don't need to be a serial dater to find a guy or girl to be in a relationship with. When you date like this guy it takes away the "fun" and "excitement" of dating. I find when I have dates like that it becomes work and I start to not look forward to another meeting. I'd rather wait and get a feel for someone and usually I can tell on the phone, I get that "feeling"....and more times then not it's right on the money.

Also I do believe people new to OLD will go crazy and date like crazy but the downside is they will be constantly looking for the BBD and no one will satisfy them...

Cheers,
SP

PS However, you can still have a couple of dates (not putting all eggs in one basket)just you don't want to go overboard where it's all scientific; I don't believe matters of the heart work that way.....

 
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Mon, 01-02-2006 - 1:49pm
My point was more that he is really just taking an overly analytical approach to what we all do with dating. I don't think that his spreadsheet is necessarily to keep everyone straight (although there are merits to that too) but rather his "checklist" of what he views as an ideal woman for him. Whether we do it on a spreadsheet or in our minds, we all do it. Like I said, I think it's a bit much and I personally would not do it NOR ever tell my dates about it if I did, but I see his rationale. Dating is about meeting people and comparing them to your vision of what you are looking for. If the person doesn't have enough of those qualities, you stop dating them. His method (while seemingly boorish) is actually just tracking that on paper instead of in his head. He's probably a slime because he DID bring it up but yeah, I don't necessarily see this as a horrible think in and of itself.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2005
Mon, 01-02-2006 - 2:12pm
I agree that everyone has a checklist. But the reason for having one is so that you MINIMISE the number of losers you end up dating in the first place. If you need a spreadsheet to analyse all the data with pie charts and XY scatter graphs then I think the original checklist needs revision, not the data.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Mon, 01-02-2006 - 2:18pm

Perhaps if more of us used a spreadsheet it would keep us better on track. For example, I see several women on other dating boards that are very busy giving Mr. Loser one last chance to "see where things go". If they had a spread sheet and could check things off like:

1. Gainfully employed
2. No criminal history
3. Single and available, ie. not married
4. No alcoholism or drug addiction

Perhaps they could see that their current beau may not be the guy for them. Heck, I know people that keep track of their bowel movements, how much of a stretch is it to keep track of a few dates?

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