Is he interested or flirting?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2009
Is he interested or flirting?
5
Tue, 12-08-2009 - 10:58am

Okay OLD friends, the CL needs advice. This is not an OLD situation, but it is a real life interest.


I have been going to the same place for coffee nearly every morning for a year. It's convenient, the service is great and the staff all know me as a regular. A few weeks ago, I realized that the owner was either being very friendly or flirty.


He's about my age and I've come to learn he is divorced. He also has a great personality and I'd love to get to know him better. But how when

Your final reward will be heartaches and tears if you’ve cheated the man in the glass.          &nb

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2009
Wed, 12-09-2009 - 10:08am

Mark,


Yes your advice makes perfect sense and is the route I usually follow. I haven't had much luck when I've made the first contact before, although I have had several dates with someone I reached out to through OLD. After our first phone conversation, he has taken the lead and asked me out every time and I've been very comfortable

Your final reward will be heartaches and tears if you’ve cheated the man in the glass.          &nb

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2009
Wed, 12-09-2009 - 2:19am

From all what I've heard from women who have asked guys out and from other guys, that it works better if the guys do the asking. If you are interested and he is not then it probably won't work. If he is interested then he'll ask and you can always refuse if you are not interested. If he is interested but "too shy" to ask then you probably won't want to go out with him.

Make sense?

Good luck,
Mark

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2009
Wed, 12-09-2009 - 12:26am

Mr-te:


Couldn't it be both flirting and just friendly? LOL. Yes. Exactly what I thought. So when you googled flirting, what did you find? I could use a flirting 101 course. After many years in the business world, I know how to strike up a conversation, but flirting is a far cry from networking :)


And I did stop in last week during an off hour. We were the only ones there and chatted a few minutes. That's when he told me he was divorced.


Mark,


Thanks for your honest assessment. I agree that he could have asked me for my card or number today when I brought it up. He didn't. So I'll just assume he was being flirty/friendly because that's who he is. I would like to be more outgoing and ask guys out, but I just don't think I'd feel comfortable doing so. It would feel awkward and I'm guessing would come across that way too.

Life well lived is like three drunk men on unicycles - wobbly, potentially dangerous, exciting, and always surprising

Your final reward will be heartaches and tears if you’ve cheated the man in the glass.          &nb

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2009
Tue, 12-08-2009 - 7:20pm

It seems to me he had his chance to ask you out or at least get your card when you two talked today about whether or not he got your card.


My take is to not hold out any expectations in dating him since he has not asked by now.


I think it is great you extended yourself and gave out your card but now the ball is in his court.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2004
Tue, 12-08-2009 - 5:32pm

"Is he hinterested or flirting?"