is he interested? please read

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2006
is he interested? please read
8
Sat, 01-06-2007 - 1:07pm

okay, i have been online dating for a few months now. every single person i have gone out with has called for a second date, but i haven't been interested in any of them.

last night i had a terrific TERRIFIC date. we met to go play a game of tennis. it was really fun, we talked for a long time like 2 hours, and on the way home we live in completely different directions. he started to walk in my direction which is the opposite of his direction. we were talking and talking and talking. very comfortable. then i asked if he wanted to sit on a bench which we were passing because he was so far out of the way from his house at this point that i felt bad. he suggested we go for a beer or coffee. we passed a place, went in and then he asked if i wanted to have dinner. we sat and had dinner and the conversation was great. after dinner he offered to walk me home which is even further away from his house. i thought at this point, we had been out for 4.5 hrs which is pretty darn good for a blind date/online date. i thought he was interested since he kept trying to extend the date. i said goodnight, said it was so much fun, etc. but he never said "lets do this again"

in all my other online dates, the guys were trying to seal another date before the first one was over

today i sent him a light and short email. i told him it was really fun and it was great meeting him. he wrote right back saying he had such a great time and was so glad we finally got to go out. yet again didn't say lets do it again. its weird. the date was so long because he kept extending it, yet he didn't mention going out again.

what do i do? do you think he is interested? and if so would he have said "lets do it again?"

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 01-06-2007 - 1:14pm

Well, my experience is the same as yours...that if a guy is really interested, he'll try to firm up a 2nd date while you're still on the 1st.

He could just be one of those guys who can't stand spending any part of an evening alone and so that's why he kept extending the date. Who knows!!! But he knows you're interested in seeing him again, so if he's interested as well, he'll set another date up.

In the meantime, keep emailing and meeting new guys so you're not so focused on this one guy.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Sat, 01-06-2007 - 1:42pm
Oh for gosh sakes - RELAX!! Let things come in time. Just because he doesn't say "let's do this again," doesn't mean he never wants to see you ever again. At this point, let him call you. You've already made first contact my emailing him with him responding. Now let HIM contact YOU. But relax already. Take a deep breath in... let it out... calm down...
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2006
Sat, 01-06-2007 - 5:11pm
i am relaxed. i was just wondering about this one because this is the only one i actually clicked with. or at least thought i did. just wondering what everyones input was
thanks
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Sat, 01-06-2007 - 8:05pm

Oaky what I meant with my original post was - you just met the guy last night, and there are no hard and fast rules with men. Sherry has had her experiences; with mine there was no correlational evidence between these variables at all. Some of the guys I went out with made future plans; some didn't. Of those two groups, some called later and some ghosted. I could never tell.

What I'm trying to say is that you can't read a guy's mind and they definitely don't work the way we (women) do. The best you can do is what you already did - you left him a light message. The good news with that is that he responded back immediately. Now you just sit back and see if he calls you (because it's his turn now). It may be a few days before he calls. It may be a week. Guys don't have the same concept with time as we do. But obsessing over it will only make you a miserable wreck.

So just sit back and see what happens. But I do agree that you should not be putting all of your eggs into one basket. You should still be out there and dating around. It's too easy to pin your hopes on someone only to be let down in the end.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2006
Sun, 01-07-2007 - 10:34am
Your brief note was great. If he doesn't CALL you soon, you are over it! :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2006
Sun, 01-07-2007 - 10:47pm
Okay, well here is an update: I got another email from him. it was lengthy and funny and the key here is I had given him a new email to respond to. i said, if you are interested in emailing me you can email me at ____________ instead of here (my online dating account). he had an out by just not. well today i got a funny semi lengthy email from him and at the end it says: "Let's talk soon. I am off to Houston later in the week. Not sure yet if I leave on Wednesday or Thursday." i already knew he had this trip for work before we even met
but to me "lets talk soon" is still kind of a blow off no? he wasn't like, lets make a plan, etc. i know i am reading into it but i actually loved our date. children the same age and he was NICE.
>
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Mon, 01-08-2007 - 12:04am

I think you're being negative. He could have not contacted you at all. But he did, and not only did he contact you, but he also let you know up front that he's going to be running around in the next week so if contact was sparse, for you not to worry too much about it.

I think you're trying to set yourself up for rejection. Have you had many bad experiences with guys? Because it sounds a lot like a case of self-fulfilling prophecy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-25-2006
Mon, 01-08-2007 - 12:20am
Are you sure that this guy is really single and not married or something like that? I'm getting the impression that he may be looking for some side action from the way that he is acting! Just a thought, obviously I don't know that for sure, but if he really liked you and was truly available, and he had that much fun with you the first time then he would ask you out again.


Edited 1/8/2007 12:22 am ET by neadvice