is he just not that into me?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2005
is he just not that into me?
2
Sun, 01-15-2006 - 1:06am

I met a guy about two weeks ago online. We seem to hit it off in our emails (which I understand the online world is a whole other relm and we didn't necessarily hit it off.) The emails then led to online messaging which was great we talked and joked. A couple of days later we exchanged numbers he called me the next night but I wasn't home so he called the next night. We talked for an hour rather he talked. He told me about his education and his career and passed jobs, a little bit about his family. Then he suggested meeting which I agreed to but didn't have my work schedule with me to say which day was good for me. So he said he would call me over the weekend....Saturday afternoon I sent him a text message just to say Hi....I never received a phone call form him or a text.....So my friend said I had to cut him loose no big loss since I hardly knew the guy in the first place...a few days ago maybe Wednesday or Thursday I was online when i got home from work and so was he. So I waited for him to message me which he did...we talked more then he suggested we meet again...So we planned to meet this monday (place and time are set). He said he would call over the weekend just to touch base. Now I know that the weekend is not over yet but he still hasn't called. Is he just not that into me?

And while I have you I am a little nervous about meeting him. Not that he makes me nervous just that this my first online meeting that I have brought to this level. Does anyone have any suggestions?

Avatar for phoenixmama
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Sun, 01-15-2006 - 11:09am

I don't understand what makes you think he's not into you? Just because he was out of touch for a few days?

Here's where I think you went wrong:
So he said he would call me over the weekend....Saturday afternoon I sent him a text message just to say Hi....I never received a phone call form him or a text.....

Don't do that. If you want to know if he's into you, give him a chance to show it or not. If he says he'll call, then leave the ball in his court. If he calls, great. If he doesn't, then he's one of those guys who says things and doesn't follow through, and so good riddance. If you call or text him first, you lose your chance to find out. Don't chase him, either he will pursue you or not.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 01-15-2006 - 12:51pm

He's never MET you...so he can't be "into" you or not "into" you. All you are seeing at this point is how he behaves with strangers he's never met. It's not personal to you at this point.

At this point, you want to be evaluating his behavior to see if he's even worth meeting. If he calls today, then you have one instance of him keeping his word to balance against him not doing so last weekend. If he doesn't, then you have a pretty good indication that he's not that type of guy since that will be the 2nd time. I probably would cancel the meeting if he doesn't call today, because for me, reliability and keeping your word (even to a stranger) are very important. But perhaps that's less important to you...only you can decide that.

As for your meeting, hopefully you set up a short meeting for coffee or something similar. It really helps to think of it as "just coffee"...just spending an hour with a stranger you might want to get to know better...or not. Go into it curious about the other person, not fearful about whether he'll like you.

Sheri