he keeps on emailing,...but no action?
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| Fri, 09-29-2006 - 1:32am |
okay, i found a guy online who is divorced with a child. as am I. he had on his profile that he wanted to date someone single, seperated, divorced. I contacted him by pointing out something funny in his profile. He read it wrote me back two days later after reading it, continued the joke and then pointed out his mother has the same profession i do. he asked no questions, no open ended anything but it was a bit lengthy. This is my first 3 days on online dating ever so i don't know how this works but i am assuming people don't waste their time writing long emails to be polite. do they?
Then I responded to his email. Asking him some questions, etc, he read it, responded the next day. a lengthy email. the only open ended question was asking how i was enjoying my online dating so far. meanwhile, checked his profile which suddenly said his ideal match is single. he removed divorced or separated.
Now here is my question...the guy waits a day to respond after reading my emails, he writes back long ones, specific to me and my career, etc, but asks no questions. He also hasn't asked to meet, etc. Is he communicating with me to be polite? is this how some people work? since he changed his preferences to single rather then single and divorced i feel like why even bother. even though he is divorced with a child. WWYD? what do you think?

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The next time you write to him, say something like "I do better getting to know someone in person rather than over email. Give me a call at and let's see if it makes sense to meet for a cup of coffee". I also like to give a couple good times to call.
I have no patience with the endless emailers, personally ;-).
Sheri
Hi
I know what you mean. I have had a few guys do something similar and they both contacted me. One guy emailed me a lot and we even played little fun innocent flirting back and forth. I finally gave him my cell #. He called twice and we talked about meeting sometime and then the emails kept coming but it was joking back and forth again. He let me know he wouldn't be online for a week or so b/c going out of town and said he'd call when he got back. He never called, never emailed so I just let it go. About 4 weeks later, I get an email...Hey , long time , no hear.. He has my number but hasn't called. Actually, I just got turned off by the whole thing and now I don't even have the desire to meet him anyway.
Another guy emailed me and we emailed about 4 times. He mentioned talking on the phone soon and scheduling a meeting over coffee. I emailed him back and have not heard anything. That was 3 weeks ago.
I'm really not sure what I think about this old thing. I just wouldn't make too much of it and just try to have fun with it.
Good luck,
Lisa
I just read your posting and thought I may be able to offer a suggestion. I am a single parent and I've been in the online dating community off and on for a few years now. It's hard to get a dynamic going through emails. You may want to suggest setting a "date" to chat using a messenger like AIM or Yahoo!. You can talk real time and see if there's anything there to persue. Some men aren't as bold as we'd like them to be. There's nothing wrong with casually mentioning that, for example, you'd like to see the new horror flick out and would he like to go with?
As for his changing the profile from "single, separated, divorced" to simply "single" could be for any number of reasons. It could be that he was getting too many email responses from desparate housewives looking for a way out. Ok, maybe not that bad but you get the idea?
Taking time to write lengthy emails to you shows interest. Especially for a man! If you think about it, do men really ever want to "talk"? This one seems to be trying to communicate with you. Be patient and good luck!
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