He loves me, he loves me not...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2003
He loves me, he loves me not...
4
Sun, 04-30-2006 - 7:41pm
Hi all. I've had 2 dates w/a nice guy, and he's come out to see me both times. The first date was in March, then he came out two weeks later and took me out to dinner & a few clubs and towards the end of the evening something he ate didn't agree w/him and he left, feeling really sick. We have been in contact by phone and im and he felt bad about how the date went, said he was nervous, and then when he got sick, he thought he really blew it with me. I told him it was no big deal, and I would like to see him again and teased "sure, I'll give you one more chance" well, it seems he's taken that literally. He's said stuff like he didn't want to mess things up with me, and another time he said that it was like his self-fullfilling prophecy that he screws up the relationships with the ones he likes the most. Ok, fast forward to the last 2 weeks. He called me Thurs.(2 wks ago) to chat. We talked for about 45 min. then he asked if I was going to be online, I said if I was that it would be awhile, that I had to tuck my kids in. So, I go online later, he on there, popping on and off, texts me and says he's having issues w/his msngr. so, I offer to sent him a msg. and 'miraculously' it works (he's works in computers, too) he msg me "are you hacking my computer?" I'm like no! So, then he goes on to say he'd like to see me again, wants to get together this weekend, but I already had plans. He is like well, when do I get another date? In 5 months? I said no, but I need advance notice! I have kids, pets, etc. Then I mention that I have a free weekend next week (that the ex has the kids) and he says Can you come to the city? I reply: maybe....
Ok, then he's all excited, but doesn't suggest any plan to get together. Then I had to get going.
So, the following week, no call from him. I was online Mon, Tues,(briefly) and Wed., he was not. Sat. morning, he im's me. I acted like there was no problem, he thought I'd be mad, but I said, I figured you had other plans, so I made plans of my own. His reply was New Boyfried? I told him I don't have a boyfriend. Then he goes on to say that "he has avoided calling for his last chance because if I thought he was a disaster then "last chance" him doesn't bear thinking about" I was like Huh? I told him that it is hard to see people's expressions, etc. when you im, so maybe what I said to him was scewed in someway.
I think he's starting to play games with me. I figured that if he wanted to see me so bad he would have called no matter what...am I right? If not, someone here please correct me. I think I'm his last resort girl, by the way he calls me on Thurs. night for a Sat. date. I also think that he's trying to screw up with me by stating his "self-fullfilling prophecy" Guys........what do you think....I need your prospective! Thanks!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
Mon, 05-01-2006 - 10:55am

Hey and welcome to the board!


OK, his brand of "teasing" would drive me nuts.

heather 5-18-10
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Tue, 05-02-2006 - 6:04am

He sounds like - well, i dont KNOW what! I cant imagine that he really feels so "hurt" or "gun shy" about "screwing up", Is he playing games? I dont know. But i DO know that it woudl drive me nutz, his saying that knid of stuff.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Wed, 05-03-2006 - 4:57pm
I'd stop imming with him. Its easier for him to "avoid" you, so stay off the computer. I'd send him an email and say if you want to get together give me a call and either stay invisible from him or block him from seeing you online, don't get caught up in the imming deal. Its easy for men to hide behind the computer screen rather than come out from behind it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2003
Thu, 05-04-2006 - 5:26pm
Hi, and thank you all for your advice. I have deleted him from my im list, and only sign in to check my mailbox occasionally. So, it's up to him now to pick up the phone. I agree about men hiding behind the computer, and I flat out told him online, that I don't keep "pen-pals" online....it is too much of an illusion for me (meaning male friends)*and* a complete waste of time.
Yes, the weird self-depricating comments were starting to get to me. I was just suprised because a while back when I talked about coming to the city *sometime* he was all about getting me a room (for just me), going to a show, dinner, etc. Now, he pulls this! Weird.
Anyway, I'm just doing my own thing, not gonna bother w/him unless he picks up the phone, he's got my number ;-).