He says he's very nervous about meeting
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|Thu, 10-02-2003 - 10:02am|
I called on Mon. and the conversation went quite smoothly. We talked without any awkward silences either. He's actually metioned in both his profile and his first email to me that he is extremely shy. He said that if it weren't for online dating he'd probably never date because he never has the nerve to just go up to a woman and start talking to her - let alone ask her out on a date. What surprised me is that he was able to talk to me without any problem. He admitted that he was a little surprised himself at how easily he was keeping up his end of the conversation.
Anyhow, he mentioned meeting several times during the conversation. But he also said that he was very nervous about meeting. He also said that he was nervous about calling me and preferred that I call him. I said that if I got over my fear of calling him then he has to make the next move and call me. So, he agreed and said he'd call the next day (i.e. Tues.) and we can decide when and where to meet. He kept saying that dating and calling women makes him so nervous because he's so shy.
He's done online dating for a while now actually. He said that he's had a number of first dates and two 6 week long relationships as a result. He said that he really wants to meet someone with whom he can develop something longterm. His last serious relationship (12 yr long rel'nship) ended 2 yrs ago and they are no longer in contact.
Well...he didn't call on Tues or Wed. so I wrote him an email. I said that I enjoyed talking to him and I was hoping that we could meet. I told him that I understand that meeting someone new for the first time can be a little nerve-wracking for some people (myself included) but if you don't try - you'll never know. I then added that of course, I realize that he might have changed his mind and that I understand if he did.
A couple of hours later he wrote back. He said that he didn't change his mind and that he still wants to meet me but he needs to work up the courage. He then said that he realizes that in the meantime I might meet someone else. He also said that if by the time he's ready to meet, I decide that I'm no longer interested - he'd understand.
This is weird. Now I am shy too and everytime I meet someone new for the first time I'm a nervous wreck and often feel tempted to back out. I think that there's no way that someone can feel more anxious than that. Part of me thinks I should just forget about this guy. Another part of me can't help thinking that if we can just get over the hurdle of that first meeting everything will be just fine. When we spoke on the phone it was so comfortable. I tend to feel intimidated by a lot of men - especially those who have really assertive personalities. This guy seems a lot more easygoing - someone around whom I would feel truly comfortable and confident just being myself. On the other hand - to my surprise - a lot of people have told me that I come across as intimidating to a lot of men so that might make a shy guy really apprehensive.
Any wise thoughts?
Edited 10/2/2003 11:59:16 PM ET by jhoover21