is he single?
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is he single?
| Thu, 03-10-2005 - 1:44pm |
I've been dating a guy from Match about once a week, very formal dinners for a few months now (6 or 7 dates) and I just can't help wondering if he's as available as he says he is.
Anything I can do?
thanks

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I am probably going to get some flack for this but I see it this way.
First not to be all in your business but have the two of you been intimate? If so then you have right to ask. If not then I do not feel that you do.
Hold on hear me out. The man I am with now it took a few months for him to know where I worked and especially where I lived. There are too many crazy people and you do not want a stalker etc. I am assuming that he has not been to your house. But even still people are crazy and you have to be cautious. Secondly you should look at like this it is less wear and tear on your car driving to his town let him be the one to pursue you and make the drive.
I do agree you should ask his status but the work and house thing I would wait a minute especially if you have not been intimate with him. He could be checking to see if you ar a , and not saying that you, "crazy person" men do have the same concerns as women.
This is why I believe in dating no more than 3 men at a time it takes the pressure off the one dating friendship you desire. I guarantee you if there were 2 other men who piqued your interest you would not be asking that questions because you know what you are doing exactly what he is doing.
My advise to you is calm down get two other men in rotation and go out with this guy you and I do mean you set the boundaries.
Ok I am ready for you all to get upset with me.
No, we have not been intimate, I'm not that emotionally involved with him at this point. i have fun with him but we are not very emotionally involved this early on (slow moving this time).
I know what he does for a living, but not the name of the company. I know about his family, siblings, what states they live in etc., that he has a roommate who has a girlfriend, but not their names or anything.
This is moslty a vibe, and maybe I'm wrong. I've been burned so maybe it's that, but also I've learned that instinct is a good thing to pay attention too as well.
Sparkle,
I agree with most all that you
had to offer! Also, if you can
find them, the three man rotation
is an excellent way to stay busy
and not worry too much. I've had
the good fortune of dating 3 men
at once, for only a brief period
of time but I highly reccomend
it :)
case of cautiousness on his part
than it is, his being attached to
anyone. This would be my guess.
He may have a hard time letting
folks in at first ...
Very good then get two more in rotation and contiue to go out date him. Because if you are only seeing himonce a week, I'd guess he may be dating some one else.
Now you say you know what he does for a living is it that important to know where he works? Patience, that is what I think we women lack we want answers now at this very moment......... It will come out if he is dating another but if you have your spare pair then who cares if is dating some one else. Just look at it as practice if it does not work out.
Keep your emotinons in check and you will be fine. Don't give him that much of your energy.
Edited 3/10/2005 4:53 pm ET ET by sparkle_number1
She sates that she know what he does for a living, she knows about his roommate his roommates girfriend his sibilings........ does it really matter on their names? I don't think so. Does it matter if she knows the name of his company? I don't think so. For the two of them to have only gone on 6 or 7 dates she knows quite a bite of information. Again I say patience.... now if she had been dating him for 1yr and did not know this information then I would say that is problematic but if you figure they date once a week and have been on 6 or 7 dates and there are only 4 weeks in a month she is barely reaching the two month mark maybe three depending if the month has 5 weeks or not. (well it sound right in my mind) The point I am making is she is not sleeping with this guy he has shared with her the information he wants her to know at this point in time. Maybe she gave him names of her sibilings friends etc., but that does not mean he must do in kind. We women and yes I have been guilty of such, divulge a lot of information and get upset when men do not follow suit. IMO she has no right to ask for name rank and serial number for his circle of influence. Let me put it like this....... say she asks and he tells her the names of his frineds and family memebers and place of employment then what???? What good did that information serve her? What is that informaation doing for her? Does her life depend on it no... She is putting too much emphasis on the wrong things this early in the dating. If she dates more than this man stuff like this would not bother her as much.
She needs to focus on how he treats her, is he respectful towards her, is he a gentleman, does his actions match his words. To me those will help guide her if she should continue to date this man or not.
I'll put it another way if they never go out again after he tells her that information is it going to make a difference? Again no, to me it just isn't that important.
Now if he took her to meet his co-workers, friends and family and did not tell her names or introduce her then that is a problem but they are not there yet.
Yes, I think having that information WILL make a difference. They may know people in common, for example...which may be why he's NOT telling her!
2-3 dates, I'd agree with you, but not at 6-7 dates. I think whether they are sleeping together is *completely* irrelevant.
Sheri
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