is he single?
Find a Conversation
is he single?
| Thu, 03-10-2005 - 1:44pm |
I've been dating a guy from Match about once a week, very formal dinners for a few months now (6 or 7 dates) and I just can't help wondering if he's as available as he says he is.
Anything I can do?
thanks

Pages
Ok so again I ask he tells her then what? To me it just isn't that important. It's not going to change the fact that they are just dating, they are not or I hope have not had the exclusive talk. Maybe I missed it but did she say they were talking marriage? I'm soory for the sarcasm but I really need someone to tell me why it is importat that she knows his friends and family names after 6 or 7 dates? What will knowing the names do for her?
I just don't see it now I did agree that she should ask if he is single and ask him what is his definition of single. Alot of men and women too think just beacuse they are not married they are single ( no matter if they are in a supposed exclusive relationship or not)
I'm sorry but I feel very passionate about this topic as I have been counsleing a friend of mines the past few days and her statements mirror yours.
To me and not saying this is fact, but I am more concerned with how a man treats me. I also have learned that you (in general) should pick our battles wisely. I just see it as you have gone or 6 or 7 dates with this guy and he has shared with you someone information about his circle of influence. I think because there are so many crazy people out there that we have become cautious.
If you are having fun with him when the two of you go out then enjoy it for what is worth, live in the moment have no expectations (which means keeping your emotions in check) when we allow our minds to wander we miss out because we could not appreciate that moment for what it was worth at that time.
You met this online right? Did you share his profile or any info on him with your friends? Did anyone say if they knew or anything about knowing him etc? I will say not or they had nothing negative to say if you have gone out that # of times.
Just learn patience.
It will be ok
If you feel you need more information then it’s up to YOU to ask. I’m pretty inquisitive by nature so by date 6 or 7 with any man I pretty much know the basics i.e. where he works or if he’s self employed; reference of buddies he hangs out with (names are usually mentioned such as I went fishing with Fred over the weekend) and why he’s doing OLD. Most will say (whether true or not) that they are looking for a serious relationship leading to marriage. With small talk you’ll get that information by date 7 for sure; I don’t think I’ve ever dated anyone where I didn’t hear a reference of family members names, best friends names, people they hung out with during the week or gym or drinking buddies. It’s typical to hear I went to Taco Tuesday with Mark down in Huntington; something; anything???
When your mission is to meet a husband off these services you should be asking more personal questions—there is no magic number but by date 7 you should feel comfortable enough to ask, it’s not like your asking for his social security number, LOL. Asking about his career and what he does isn’t some topic secret topic!
If it bothers you then you have no one but yourself to blame—go out there and get that info and have fun in the process!!!
Cheers,
SP
I'm not understanding how knowing where he works has ANYTHING to do with talking about marriage or even dating exclusively!
That's just a normal, getting to know you topic of conversation...and the fact that he hasn't brought it up in so many dates is just a little weird, IMO, along with the other things she posted. I'd be a little leery if I were in her shoes.
Sheri
Sheri:
Maybe I am not getting my point across properly. When you start to date someone after 6 or 7 dates do you let them know where you are employed? Why do you feel the need to inform them of your place of business? Do you think if you did not do such they would automatically assume you had something to hide?
I think we take for granted that people will always do the right thing so we will just tell them all sorts of information about ourselves, which they probably should not know. I know of a couple of women who dated men who they thought were nice guys. So they shared information that they did not think would cause them any harm... i.e., place of business, names of friends family etc..... Well wouldn't you know it with one girlfriend when she decided that she and this man were not going to work out she ended it, or at least she thought she did... do you know he showed at her place of business, made a scene, harrassed her at work and she almost lost her job. She eventually quit and moved away but had he not known her place of business, none of that episode would have happened. Telling someone your profession is one thing....
Woman number two and we are still mystified by this one, this man started calling her parents who were elderly all hours of the night asking for my girlfriend worrying her parents. At first her parents passed it off as a prankster until the man threatened to do some harm to my girlfriend, who by the way lived in another state. Hey I guess if you know a persons name and with technology being as it is you can find anything now can't you. These maybe isolated incidents but I doubt it, I just happen to know the women involved.
Had I not known these women personally for the last 15 years I would not have believe it when I heard it so what did I learn, beacuse I can learn from others mistakes.... Throw caution to the wind. Some people are psycho be careful who you divulge information to because it may come back and bite you in the butt.
As far as marriage that was sarcasm.....meaning he does not have divulge names, place of business etc this early on.
Yes, that would definitely come up in conversation before we'd gone out 6 or 7 times. By the time I've gone out with someone 3 or 4 times, I feel comfortable sharing that information and would hope that he'd feel the same way...and whether I've been lucky or whatever, it's never been a problem. I can see not divulging it before you've met in person or for the first couple dates, however.
You could be right, that he's just being cautious. But she should be cautious too, and not assume that he necessarily has a good reason for not sharing that information.
Sheri
Pages