is he too good to be true??

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2006
is he too good to be true??
5
Fri, 11-03-2006 - 9:29am

Hi ladies!

I've been corresponding with a new guy I met on CL for the past 2 days and so far, I like what he has to say. He's looking for a woman who wants more than a casual hook up; who wants a LTR; etc.

Thing is, he's very handsome, a little older than me (I'm in my mid30s), has never been married before and has no children. Is that a red flag right there? I mean, is this too good to be true? For goodness sake, he's cute! And never been married?! There's gotta be some type of flaw with him and I can't seem to find it.

This guy might knock out my "obsession" with my "cyber sex dude" finally, but "cyber sex dude" still has some qualities I'm looking for that new guy may not have...like, "cyber sex dude" is highly educated. New guy might have some college under him. "Cyber sex dude" has some "geekish" qualities to him which I find quite attractive. New guy is...well, he's cute and that might mean out of my league. I'm scared to ask him what physical qualities in a woman is he searching for because I know his type most probably has to be petite (which I'm not).

Have I struck gold this time around? Or is this just too good to be true?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2005
Fri, 11-03-2006 - 10:14am
have you met this new guy or cyber sex guy? (: If not, I would not get your hopes too high until you meet them. I have rasied my hopes about people's pics/profiles, but then when i met them..they just werent what i thought. SO i wouldnt worry about much until you actually meet face to face. But no, i dont think it's a big deal that this person has not been married.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 11-03-2006 - 10:26am

Well, gosh, he probably has LOTS of flaws, being HUMAN and all!!!

If you are expecting to find "perfect" you are going to be sorely disapponted every time.

I personally don't think it's necessarily a red flag if someone is in their late 30s and never married. If he's never had a serious LTR, on the other hand, then I might wonder, but it wouldn't be a dealbreaker, I'd just want to find out more.

But as corbeach says, nothing's real until you meet. Get offline and get a cup of coffee and see what he's like in real life!

As for your body type, I find it works best to be upfront in your ad and photos about that and let the guy decide for himself.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Fri, 11-03-2006 - 10:39am
I understand why you might be concerned. I also dated someone who sounds similar to your guy (15 years older than me, in his late 40s, never married).
Indeed he did have some committment phobe issues, but he also seemed to be ready to finally make the leap.
The reason I bring this up is that timing is everything. Even if your chap has not been ready for marriage before, it does not mean he can't be now. If he truly falls for you, all history goes by the wayside.
Good luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2003
Fri, 11-03-2006 - 3:53pm
You're overthinking the situation with a guy you've never met. Go! Meet! Give the real him a shot! Ignore the him that you've constructed out of your anxieties....
sooooobig
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
Fri, 11-03-2006 - 4:44pm
Do not, repeat DO NOT, get all pie in the sky after you've only been talking online for two days!
heather 5-18-10