he was looking for a lay right???
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he was looking for a lay right???
| Tue, 10-03-2006 - 10:45pm |
can that even be my subject. tell me if i was wrong...so i am online and a guy sends me an email that hes interested and can send pictures. very high level professional, etc. I say yes. he sends pictures and he's cute. so i email him back. He sees I am online and he IM's me. i tell him i am new at online dating and I have never IM'd so to bear with me. he asks how its going for me so far (OLD) and i tell him its been okay. he asks me if i had any "hot and sexy dates". i told him a funny story about a date and again he goes "so not the hot and sexy kind"? i said no. he says "you are due for one :P" at that point i thought it was weird but i kept going...then he asked why i didn't have chemistry with one of the guys, i said i was taller then him and it wasn't for me. he said "so no nookie for the short guy"...i got annoyed because he clearly seemed like he was only interested in sex. am i nuts? i told him craigslist would probably be better for him and i had to go. he said i took him the wrong way. did i?

No, I think you were right in your assumption - his comments were inappropriate!
You understood his message loud and clear! And when he stated that "you took him wrong", he is playing headgames with you.
Scratch him off the list.
Callie
It's never a bad idea to trust your gut response.
It's possible he has a raunchier way of delivery/sense of humor, still, I think some of those comments would have colored my perception of him too.
Instant messages like the one you describe is one more reason I'm no longer doing OLD. I have had a few I chatted with who made very simliar type statements or questioned me like I was a prude or something. Some of those same ones also "claimed" they wanted long-term relationships. Yeah, right. Anyway, I think they are just playing around regardless.
Biker guy from Iowa, whom I dated for about 3 weeks a year ago, ALSO was mainly looking just for sex. But, that was only really apparent after we started dating. Looking back, he did not want to get to know me as a person. When I made the statement to him about not wanting to go out with anyone else, he quickly backpeddled and then bailed on me. That made it clear that he just wanted more of a physical relationship than an emotional one. He never got sex from me, but I now wonder what I saw in him at all. A selfish man who wanted someone who looked good on a bike. I pity the poor woman who does get stuck with him. Amazing how many men end up being phony, game players or just out for a quick roll in the hay. Most women want and deserve better. When I was still doing OLD, I quickly learned to pass on those who brought up sexual issues early in conversations. That is an indicator to me that they are not serious about finding someone long-term.
Edited 10/4/2006 5:32 pm ET by mitsy2
Google sexual addiction. The people who have it (if it exists, some psychologists say no) are looking for quick and easy sex. Any sex. Even sex that isn't physical, but cybersex (some prefer cybering, it's fantasy island). Like alcoholics, it's whatever they can get. Do you think wino's really prefer Boone's Farm over a nice cabernet? No, it's whatever they can get. This guy might get his rocks off by chatting up a few women here and there. Meanwhile Mrs. professional guy is asleeep in the next room.
I've learned if someone makes me feel bad in life, an email or an IM exchange (I don't IM anymore, it's too shallow) than I want nothing more to do with them, and that's my right.
You did good!! Go with your gut and don't question if you lost a chance to spend time with a creep.
Chick