Is he worth another date??

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2005
Is he worth another date??
29
Mon, 05-15-2006 - 11:28am
Hello all!!
Just an update on the OLD circuit. I’m requesting honest opinions from everyone out there about this guy because I got the impression that he may be a cheapskate or just plain rude!! Tell me what you think….
I “met” him approximately two weeks ago. He and I talk nearly every day, and after about a week of chatting, I began to be anxious to meet him. This past weekend, he called me and suggested that we meet for coffee. I was excited, and looking forward to meeting. Since the coffee shop wasn’t convenient for both of us, we met at a restaurant instead. Now, I wasn’t sure if we were dining or just meeting at the restaurant for a drink….and whether or not I should expect him to pay or if I should be prepared to pay for myself. When we got there, he said that he just wanted to have a drink….tea, to be exact. It felt weird to be seated at a table with menus and utensils and have a glass of tea. I’m sure the waitstaff got a kick out of that one! Here’s where the confusion comes in…the guy NEVER asked me if I wanted anything. I ordered a tea, but didn’t feel comfortable ordering food because I didn’t want to assume that he would pay for it. Of course, I could’ve paid for my own meal; however, he asked me out, so I think that he should’ve paid had I ordered. I’ve NEVER been out on a date where the guy didn’t ask me what I’d like to order. In addition to that, he order food and beverage, and I’m sitting there drinking my tea while he's eating. In our conversation, he did say some other things that led me to believe that he’s a penny pincher. Although I was somewhat turned off by that, the conversation was really good, and we sat there and talked for over three hours. He says that he'd like to see me again. I wouldn’t mind going out with him again; however, I was turned off by him not asking me if I’d like anything. Should I say anything to him about it? Maybe I’m assuming too much. I guess I could’ve ordered if I wanted to. Also, he could be on a really tight budget, and avoids spending too much money. His financial situation doesn’t matter to me because I don’t date men for their money; however, it does kind of bug me that someone would ask me out and not make a gesture to take care of my meal….
What do you think??

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2005
Tue, 05-23-2006 - 11:59am
Hello all!
Here's an update on the guy who I suspected was a cheapskate: he is!! We went out on an official date. Though he paid for my meal, I got the impression that he didn't really want to do it. This guy talks constantly about his financial situation and how he's really working hard to be debt free. He even brought a book with him about debt management and proceeded to read excerpts from it to me! When the bill came for our dinner (I'd guess it came to about $35 bucks), he just let it sit there and kept looking at my purse, like I was going to pay for it! LOL! I took my friend's advice, excused myself, and went to the ladies' room. When I got back, he had paid the bill! Funny, huh? Needless to say, I'm not interested in going out with him again. Get this, he asked me what kinds of restaurants I go to. When I told him, he said, "do you ever eat at places that aren't so expensive?" The places I mentioned have items on the menu at $10, $12, $15 bucks at the most. He thinks that's expensive?? Craziness, I tell you, just crazy!!!
Just thought I'd give y'all a good laugh!!
Mali


Edited 5/23/2006 12:00 pm ET by mali2579
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
Tue, 05-23-2006 - 1:38pm
I wonder how old he is, because it sounds like he doesn't know how to treat a lady. If he is immature or young I can somewhat understand this, but if he is over 25 then he sounds a bit selfish or self centered and does not care how he treats a woman. I am also not after a man's money. I am far for from a gold digger, I would have married a rich old guy by now like bimbos do if I was, but please no cheapskates for me either.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2005
Tue, 05-23-2006 - 2:21pm
He's 38! A 38 year old cheapskate! Maybe he'll meet someone who's okay with the whole penny pinching thing; I'm not the one, though!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
Tue, 05-23-2006 - 3:18pm
What a loser!
heather 5-18-10
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
Tue, 05-23-2006 - 4:04pm
38! Yikes! I agree, no second date for him. haha. He sounds clueless on how to treat a woman and make a good first impression. A guy should always show concern for his date's well being/comfort level on a date. This includes giving you his jacket if you are cold or whatever is important in your surroundings, in addition to the basics of food and drink. You can do better or at least fill him in on this and then decide whether to give him a second chance.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2006
Thu, 05-25-2006 - 6:17am
Did he pay the bill? First of all, ediquette says if he asks you out he pays...however, I always plan on paying my share just in case. He should have asked you if you wanted something but I think I would have ordered something after finding out he was.. you could always say, that sounds good I think I will have something....
Since you talked for 3 hours I am guessing you enjoyed his company. I would give it another shot. First dates aren't always a good indicator of who the true person is. Kim
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Thu, 05-25-2006 - 10:34am
Hey kec - read post 22 for the update!

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2006
Thu, 05-25-2006 - 4:16pm
oops sorry still new to the boards
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
Thu, 05-25-2006 - 4:21pm
Not a scolding or anything - but it's funny how you said that and she DID give him a second chance and he proved to be exactly what she thought and more!
heather 5-18-10

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