Help I like 2 guys

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Help I like 2 guys
22
Sat, 12-10-2005 - 9:37am

ok, I have 3 guys after me at the moment (wow it sounds so good, heehee just had to say that!) but here is the dilemma:

Guy 1 (the "stingy guy")- I'm going to dump him... yikes I hate to play the villain. Not a real problem here... I just have to do it!

Guy 2: went for drinks with him tonigh. I met him at speed dating earlier in the week. He told me that the moment he sat down he knew it was a Yes. He even noticed me before the speed dating began... I really like him and I feel mentally and physically attracted to him. We like the same things and have similar personality type. I wouldn't think twice going out with him seriously if it is not for Guy 3...

Guy 3: is my type, ticks, A+'s in every possible way. One thing is that we haven't met as he is still on a business trip overseas. He says he should be back next week but does not have a definite date because of the work but really wants to meet up with me once he's back. So we've been exchanging emails daily for almost a week now and I really feel the connection. He is my guy but I want to meet him first before anything. I have seen his pic. He already said that we match quite well just by looking at our profiles and I have to agree. It seems that we are on the same track.

So the dilemma is: I really like Guy 2 and he likes me but I like Guy 3 as well... and Guy 3 likes me but the problem is I haven't met him!!! What if I turn down Guy 2 and when I meet Guy 3 there is no attraction?! The other thing is, Guy 2 says he will call me and what should I do if he wants to see me again before I meet Guy 3???????? I would really want to see him because I like him... but what about Guy 3??????

What a mess. I really didn't think anything would come out of speed dating! I was really there for fun and to challenge myself... and I really didn't expect any interest from Guy 3.

This is bad!! What should I do??????

oh and I didn't mention to guy 2 (speed dating guy) that I had other matches from speed dating (but I don't think I will date the other guys, enough mess already) and didn't mention that I'm doing OLD too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sat, 12-10-2005 - 8:11pm

ok things are going very quickly. I got a message from #2 within 12 hours of the first date... he says if I am interested we should go out again.

yes I really really want to go out with him!! What a sweetie... but I think I will end up saying:

I would like to see you again but there's also one other guy I've agreed to meet later on in the week. Assume you're doing the same thing but if you're not ok I understand.

How about that??

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Sat, 12-10-2005 - 8:39pm
No - you're missing the point. You are under no obligation to TELL him anything at this point. Both of you should assume that you are dating others until you decide otherwise. And still, I stick to the point that yes, you like guy #3 on paper, but you might not like him in person or the chemistry might not translate (a good 90% of the time, it doesn't) to real life. Don't say anything at all to guy #2 unless he asks if you are seeing someone else! I know it might be uncomfortable for you, but why close a door on a good guy for a guy you have never met??

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 12-10-2005 - 8:39pm

I think saying that would be kind of presumptuous, a little tacky, and totally unnecessary, but do what you feel you need to do!

If he cares whether you are dating other men at this very early stage, he will ASK.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Sat, 12-10-2005 - 8:49pm

ITA Sheri. Saying that basically tells guy #2 that he's good enough for now and really choice #2 and as soon as this other guy is around that he's gonzo. At least if I was told something like that, that's what I would hear. But RM, if you feel that you want to tell him this, you're going to do it anyway. But you ARE asking for advice and so far all the advice has been to sit tight until you meet the other guy at the very least.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Sat, 12-10-2005 - 9:44pm
Please, please listen to the ladies... you are setting yourself up for a fall. And for what? A guy you don't know. Just say yes and go out and have a great time!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 12-11-2005 - 12:04am

oook thanks ladies. Here's what I did. I sent him a message and told him that I had a great time and would be good to catch up with him soon.

AAhhh I should stop worrying!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Sun, 12-11-2005 - 12:46am
That's perfect... silence is golden! :o) Keep us posted.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 12-11-2005 - 1:46am

yikes! Another guy from speed dating has emailed me (after not hearing from him all week and I have assumed that he wasn't interested). Now he wants to meet up for drinks!! He says that his work is so hectic and is interested in seeing me next weekend and will contact me later on in the week. I hope he won't!!

What am I getting myself into???? But I must admit it is fun, heehee.

Avatar for travkitty
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2003
Sun, 12-11-2005 - 9:37am
Yes, silence IS golden. I think we ladies overthink this whole dating thing sometimes. Just go with the flow, less is more. :)
Avatar for travkitty
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2003
Sun, 12-11-2005 - 9:38am
Why do you hope he won't get back to you? Hey, more men means better chances of finding the right one! It's a numbers game at this stage.