Help me...
Find a Conversation
| Tue, 02-21-2006 - 10:26pm |
Hey guys...I have been lurking for quite some time and I figure I can get some good advise from the readers of this board.
I think I am about to give up on finding a nice boy and live with 12 cats instead. I have put ads on match.com, eharmony, yahoo personals....you name it, i've done it. Either no one answers my ad or the people that answer my ad are losers. Sometimes I feel so hopeless because I know I am a good person and a great catch (I have worked very hard to build up my self-esteem...), but I feel like no one else can see it too.
Here is my last ad I put up on Yahoo Personals:
Hey you...at the computer. Yeah you. The cute one.
Can you be affectionate? Smart?
Do you like to have great conversations and laugh so hard it hurts sometimes?
Are you mature or on your way to getting there?
Are there any words other than "hey ladies!!" or "hey baby" in your vocabulary?
If so, you name the place...I’ll bring the fun! I am single, successful and educated, and I get up every day loving life. I am sometimes wacky, sometimes blunt (but always tactful), fun-loving and positive. I like to be affectionate (within reason), love to laugh, and I always try to see the good of every situation. I love my family and treasure my friends.
How fun-loving am I? I love to travel (visiting new places and people is key), go to concerts, listen to great music (everything from the popular to the obscure – classic rock, R&B, Rock, pop, etc), politics (it gets addicting after a while), taking longs drives, roaming NYC, staying healthy and watching a great movie. I am also an avid reader – I like learning about the world. I love trying new things and staying open-minded – it’s much too stressful to hate anyone. :)
I would like to get to know someone attractive, more so on the inside than the out (although being cute is a plus!!)…I am relationship-minded but could always use a new friend if things don’t work out….I like a guy who knows what he wants out of life….a guy who loves to have fun and likes being affectionate. We can have small talk and make each other laugh, but also talk about what goes on in life. He can handle a woman like me who knows what she wants, and won’t try and change her. A love of Law and Order and/or Nip/Tuck is a plus…I will so be putty in your hands!!
Now it's your turn. I want to learn about you. :) Drop me a line.
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Can someone give me advice on what I should do to improve my chances? I am not good at flirting or approaching guys, so a lot of times I use on-line dating to meet people. Any advice is good advice. Thanks

Hi brightfame,
I'm on a couple sites and seem to attract pretty good men-professional, respectful, take me to nice places and are genuinely nice. I'm not sure what defines a loser to you but I'm guessing its probably a man without much to offer you.
Here is my take on your profile: It talks alot about having fun--not so much about having a relationship or what you want out of a relationship. Also, you say that if they find the place you will bring the fun and I can only imagine what would be going through some guys minds with that statement. There are a lot of men looking for sex on-line and I suggest (and definately not the authority) that you leave ut anything that could bring up sex in a man's mind.
Instead of saying things like
"Hey you...at the computer. Yeah you. The cute one.
Can you be affectionate? Smart?Do you like to have great conversations and laugh so hard it hurts sometimes? Are you mature or on your way to getting there?
Are there any words other than "hey ladies!!" or "hey baby" in your vocabulary?"
Say I am looking for someone to have a mature relationship with who can be my best friend and partner. A person I respect and enjoy thier company. I'm looking for a smart man who enjoys great conversation.
Thats my advice--just tell them what you want of a relationship and how you see the both of you reacting in the relationship.
I hope that helps some--it works for me
Ok use what ever advice you like. Ditch the rest.....But one string attached, I want to see the revised copy!!! Teri
general advice. In my experience, men look at the pics and read the first four lines.....so post the best pics you can. grab a friend and camera, take a ton, show you doing your favorite activities, use the best resolution you can, show as much personality as you can.
The trick to editing your profile, is to not lose you, its a little tongue and cheeky now, think about your audience is that what you want? Imagine the perfect guy, also make it specific to your age group.....(I am not sure what that is, but I am guessing 30's,)
So here it goes.....
*******Hey you...at the computer. Yeah you. The cute *****(puppies are cute)**** one.
Can you be affectionate? (Affectionate = Sex, to men use the word sparingly if at all) Smart?
Do you like to have great conversations and laugh so hard it hurts sometimes?
Are you mature or on your way to getting there?
Are there any words other than "hey ladies!!" or "hey baby" in your vocabulary?******
***LOSE this whole paragaph. To me your insulting the mature men, who know they are mature. And your insulting the not so mature ones who think they are...its a no win situation...besides, this is what the first meet is for...
I am successful and educated, and love life. I can be wacky or serious and sometimes blunt (but always tactful). I like to be affectionate (within reason), love to laugh, and I always try to see the good of every situation. I love my family and treasure my friends.
How fun-loving am I? I love to travel, visiting new places and people is key. I enjoy going to concerts, and listening to great music. I like everything from the popular to the obscure – classic rock, R&B, Rock, pop, etc. I often take longs drives. Most weekends I can be found roaming NYC. There are great coffee shops, museums, art galleries, (whatever fits you). I am avid reader. Most recent, I read---- Name something controversial, name something out of the ordinary...To stay healthy, I go to the gym, run, am a vegetarian (what ever fits you)
I watch The Daily Show, read harper's and the New Yorker, listen to NPR. Bill Maher is .... (you mention politics/addiction. Another person with the same likes will recognize it, if not then they have something to ask about...so I would descibe it without mentioning the word politics)
I would like to meet someone attractive, more so on the inside than the out. I am relationship-minded, but could always use a new friend if things don’t work out. I like a guy who knows what he wants out of life; a guy who loves to have fun, but can also have a serious conversation. I am looking for a man can appreciate a woman who knows what she wants, and won’t try and change her, er I mean me.
A love of Law and Order and/or Nip/Tuck is a plus. I will be putty in your hands!!
Now it's your turn. I want to learn about you. Drop me a line.
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there are some lines (like the use a new friend if it doesnt work out or the attractive inside out), that I am not crazy about, but I think they show a little of your personality and what you are looking for. Little too cliche for me but....Also I would never use :) in a profile, too immature. the trick is editing the profile and keeping the originality...
Hope this helps.......