Helping an ex

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2004
Helping an ex
14
Thu, 04-21-2005 - 11:37pm
Anyone think it's strange that I helped my ex-h with his profile on yahoo personals and uploaded his pics for him? My friends all think that I am deranged. I just want him to be happy. He is a nice guy, it didn't work out for us...but that doesn't mean that I want him to be lonely; besides, I also have my kids to think about...as they are with him half of the week.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2004
In reply to: ahappierme
Sat, 04-23-2005 - 7:57am

You're right, I hadn't thought about that. However, he did write his own profile, I think that I just fixed the "glaring" mistakes. I'm sorry that you are not able to have contact with your ex.; it's a huge loss to have someone that was so much a part of your life, no longer a part of it at all.

Jennifer

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2003
In reply to: ahappierme
Sat, 04-23-2005 - 2:11pm
I think it's amazing that you have such a good relationship with your ex. It will definitely have a positive effect on your kids as they grow up. Good going! :)

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2004
In reply to: ahappierme
Sat, 04-23-2005 - 6:06pm

Thank you. That is my most fervert hope. I am a child of divorced parents. They were always bad mouthing each other to me, in front of me etc. I try hard NOT to do that as thier dad is part of who they ARE. I always felt that it was a knock on me as well as the parent being "discussed".

I cringe inside of myself whenever I hear a parent being bad mouthed in front of a child.

The other day, a daycare worker at the center my children go to was in the market with her two small children. She has a girl and a boy. I didn't know her circumstances with children's father. She told me that he was no good....ALLL MEN WERE NO GOOD, that he was a jerk, and a few other choice things. Then she turned to her 6 yr dd and asked, " Daddy is a ...., right ..." Her dd was quick to respond, "yes...he is...and ALL men are ..."

All of this was said while her little boy stood there smiling. I said to the little boy, "Not all men are like that, you're going to be a man." The woman said to me, "No he's just a boy, boys are awesome." HUH???!!!! She will be paying dearly for her misconceptions on child rearing for the rest of her life...as her children are going to grow up with some very confused ideas; hopefully they will get some great counseling along the way. Needless to say, I am quite grateful that my children are not under her "care".

My dd was aghast and speechless after hearing this diatribe. She then told me after the woman moved out of earshot that the little girl is not very nice to boys. Is it any wonder?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2003
In reply to: ahappierme
Sat, 04-23-2005 - 6:25pm

That's terrible! It takes a pretty foul adult to throw their own issues on a child.

Fortunately, my parents were great friends even after their divorce. My mother always told me that my father was a great man, they just weren't right for each other. My father was more than welcome to come to my home, day or night as my mother was welcome to his as well. That helped me a lot growing up, knowing that I never had to suffer through that hatred. Even when I got to the age of bad-mouthing either one of my parents, they tried to not let me go too far down the road.

Being friends with the ex is definitely a smart choice. I feel bad for that woman and her children. She's causing a generation of bad relationships to continue... Sad, truly.

 

Pages