Hi everyone...OLD misadventures
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| Mon, 08-08-2005 - 11:07pm |
Hi Everyone,
I have been gone quite a bit this summer, but thought I'd post on my OLD misadventures. After I returned home from my week at the lake, I was supposed to get together with the mortgage banker guy who I had seen a couple of times previously, but who has a super busy life. Well we made tentative plans and he never called me back to confirm, so I have nexted him completely. I know he has no time and doesn't want to make time for a lady in his life, and I want someone that wants me in their life!
Then there was the CPA who was really nice that I had went to dinner with once. Well we talked on the phone after I got back a couple of times for lengthy conversations and his girls (12 and 15) were having trouble with their mom and fighting alot with her, which was upsetting him alot. Well, he revealed to me that I was the first lady that he had gone out with after his breakup with his ex gf of 1 yr (they broke up in March and we went out in June) and after our great conversation at dinner, he realized he wasn't healed from it and wasn't ready to date yet and had started going to counseling to deal with is issues! So I guess that is good since he said he wasn't emotionally healthy enough to date and realized that and some of his issues were still stemming from his divorce from 4 years ago. So really, I wouldn't want to get involved with anyone with so many issues still pending (I mean a few issues are ok).
I have had a few meets since from OLD but none have provided anyone I would care to see for a second time, except for tonight. He was very nice, funny, and a good conversationalist. He is a mortgage banker, so I seem to have come out of my rut with Engineers and have moved onto the financial type line! He said he wants to get together again, but I'm not holding my breath and if he is interested he can call me, since we have already talked on the phone a few times he has my number. He is younger than me by about 8 years, has never been married and has no kids and wants no kids, which I said I would not date this kind again, but we'll see... Again not holding my breath!
I'm trying to think of a nice way to not see this one guy that I have talked to from OLD but that I can't stand his whiney voice. I haven't met him yet. I'm thinking of ghosting and avoiding his calls, but should probably just be brave and tell him I'm not interested, but I don't want to hurt his feelings. I could tell him I got back together with my ex bf! I know I'm being weak!
So that is my OLD story. How have any of you handled the dilemma above? I feel it may be crueler to tell him the truth and he will ask for details why, because he is that kind.
I hope everyone has had a great summer so far....
Sunshine

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SS, if you feel you must say something, send him an email saying "It was nice talking to you but after giving it some thought, I don't think we're a match". Then block him from emailing you any further. Personally, I would just ghost, as I would hate getting that type of email (I'd rather hear nothing and infer), but I know not everyone feels that way, so do what you think is best.
At least you're having some meets...I can't seem to get beyond email/phone with anyone these days ;-)! Frustrating, to say the least...
Hope the new guy calls!
Sheri
It sounds like you've had quite a bit of activity this summer Sunshine, hang in there, you know that it just takes that one special one to make you realize it's all been worth it.
It must be the summer for guys to deal with issues having to due with their ex-GF's. I had the same thing happen to me with Phone guy. Everything was going great for 5 weeks then all of a sudden I get a call from him saying that his ex-gf of two years, (broken up 6-8 mos) was harrassing him and causing him to feel that he was not emotionally available right now. That one stung a little, I really thought I had hit the jackpot. It's been almost 3 weeks since our last communication and I'm beginning to believe that he played me. GGRR!!!
As for ghosting vs. email with the guy you don't want to see again. I've done both, it really depends on my mood and how I really felt about the guy. If he's been misleading with pic or profile and totally turns me off, I will ghost, whereas if he's nice, but I just don't think it will work, I will email and tell him I don't think we are a match. Fortunately, in 3+ years I've been doing OLD I've only had to block one guy who didn't take the rejection well.
Good Luck!
Libra
Thanks Sheri. This guy is nice, so I kind of feel bad to send him the I don't think we're a match email and feel it might be kinder to just ghost.
The problem seems to be lately, that every guy I get to the phone stage with has a really gay sounding voice, I mean extremely so and it doesn't appeal to me, which I know is ok since it's a personal preference with me.
I was talking with a friend today who is a nail tech and she talks with many women each day and she was telling me about one of her clients who has been doing Match for only two weeks now and has already met with 6 guys and thinks she likes 3 of them (has had 1000 hits in the 2 weeks). It made me laugh as I explained to my friend that when you are fresh meat, you get alot of attention from the guys and that I could have more meets also, but have learned to be more picky and not meet with just anyone who shows a little interest in me, that I don't waste my time anymore with guys who I don't feel will interest me much. Plus this girl is in her late 20's and not in her 40's as I am, so she will appeal to many more age ranges.
I know it can be so frustrating and I understand how you feel.
I did get an email from the new guy today, nice but short, but still not holding my breath! There is another guy who is a lawyer turned doctor (done with his training in Sept) that I will be meeting with this weekend. We'll see...
Hang in there Sheri.
Sunshine
Hi Libra,
I'm sorry you had to go through that with phone guy. It just goes to show that even after 5 weeks as you had with him, that you still can't count on anything with a guy. Why does this have to be so hard?!!!! I just wish I could find a decent, nice, semi attractive guy! Some women, it seems, just have a new guy plopped right into their lap and sometimes I feel a tiny bit sorry for myself and wonder why that can't happen to me! But then I think some of them just settle for any guy just to have a "body" in their life. Then I'm proud of myself that I haven't just settled like that. I guess I'm going for the quality rather than quantity thing! ;) But I keep moving on... NEXT!!!
Sunshine
Thanks Sunshine! Phone Guy certainly blindsided me as everything was going great then out of the blue..the sky fell in. That was three weeks ago and after regrouping I got back out there last week. I've been communicating with a couple of guys but no first meets yet. Hopefully soon, if not then I'll be saying...NEXT!
I know exactly what you mean, it doesn't seem fair at times. But then I wonder just how happy those women are who settle just to have a "body" in their life and I would venture a guess that deep down they are not happy at all. I've settled in the past and when I realized what I was doing, I ended it and vowed never again. You're right, it's more about, quality than quantity. And I want quality for sure.
All the best,
Libra
Hi everyone, I have only posted few postings here and there, but I want to say thank you all for having a fun and informative chatting board. If you accept one more member of your postings, I'll feel very grateful to share my stories :) some are misfortunes, since I am still single.. lol
I've been online dating for about 2 years now, on and off, had a boyfriend before so when we broke up I signed up.
Met this wonderful guy, I really liked him, was falling for him, went out for about 7 months, end result, the ex-gf showed up asking him for another try (they had a child together) and as a good guy he is, he moved in with her to try again for the child. Heartbroken!
For the last months, I've met and talked with a number of guys (I lost count), emailed, lost contact, regained it, tried again, no luck. I recently had one that I was supposed to meet twice in the past, cancelled, got lost and just reappeared, set up another meeting after the two fails, flaked again! This time I was too nice, I learned my lesson, NEXT! My new motto "no chances if they break the first meeting date" unless is a real emergency, not all the bs excuses.
Right now, I am seeing two guys I really like, they kind of being consistent, call every two days or so, been on three dates with each, got a little too physical with one of them (guy #1) on the 3rd date, loved it, I think we have a lot of chemistry (I hope he doesn't want me for s** only) since I really like him. I just hope he feels the same connection and continues with his attentions :) Guy #2 has a little more potential for LTR, single parent like me, same background, cute, treats me nice, I really like him, but doesn't give me the same goosebumps as guy #1. With guy #1 I don't think I have a potential for LTR, since he's single, never married, not kids. I just hope that I can see for myself who has the best character for a good relationship, it's been so long since I had a good guy by my side :(, I wish it would work with one of them.
Also, I had surgery two weeks ago, right now I am recovering, so both have been waiting so I get better, but both have made comments about getting physical once I am better, is that normal? If they wait out for me, does that mean they're really interested? I've been trying to keep them in the platonic side, except for that time with guy #1, that I got a little excited, but did not do a lot.
Anyhow, not to put my eggs in one basket, at this time, I get contacted by new guys every week, emailed, then talked on the phone, played a little of phone tag, if I don't hear from them I forget because I have others lined up. I have two first time dates set up this sat., but I am still keeping friday open for guy #1. Guy #2 can see me during the day if we set it up.
Thanks for listening, I have many more stories, but they will not fit right now. We're all in the same boat looking for happiness and I hope we're looking in the right place. Someday, somewhere, somehow, we may keep a great awesome guy forever!!
Hey Hottie-
Thanks for the update.
CL-Truewild1969
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Hi Sunshine,
Good luck with this financial type guy then. Sounds hopeful. :) No good advice about the other whiney voiced guy except to say, I think once a person has chatted with someone pretty extensively or met them, then they should be honest and say they are not interested to go further. Otherwise, the ghost thing would probably be okay otherwise, if just a mild flirt passed back and forth....but that is just where I am coming from, my opinion.
Sara
Sunshine:
I think its so interesting that you meantioned the aversion to the "whiney voice". I OLD'd someone for 2 years. He was long distance (1500 miles...and never doing that again). The whole time I weighed the "well he is really nice, hate his voice, can't have it all in one man" thing. But funny i NEVER got passed his weak voice. I guess its primal in me to want that masculinity. SO I UNDERSTAND lol and YES it IS ok because we do all have preferences and well voices have to be heard to communicate lol. I just thought I was wierd like that...but I guess not .
Wow you really have me thinking about how I'd end that one. I think I am the "avoider" type. It certainly has been done to me so I guess ive justified it that way. I, however, am one who hasn't had to do the ending thing more than being the ender so I have limited experience. I guess you can do it the way that leaves you feeling ok about yourself, because that is who you have to live with. I guess I would say in an email "i am just not feeling it" or "i am dating someone at this time that I would like to keep seeing exclusively...good luck". hmmm boy there really isnt a good way. I guess you could seem disinterested when he calls, and let him think he has made the decision. (I got broken up with like that after 4 months...quite cowardly so perhaps not a good suggestion).
Keep us posted,
Lizzie
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