Hi everyone...OLD misadventures

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2005
Hi everyone...OLD misadventures
22
Mon, 08-08-2005 - 11:07pm

Hi Everyone,

I have been gone quite a bit this summer, but thought I'd post on my OLD misadventures. After I returned home from my week at the lake, I was supposed to get together with the mortgage banker guy who I had seen a couple of times previously, but who has a super busy life. Well we made tentative plans and he never called me back to confirm, so I have nexted him completely. I know he has no time and doesn't want to make time for a lady in his life, and I want someone that wants me in their life!

Then there was the CPA who was really nice that I had went to dinner with once. Well we talked on the phone after I got back a couple of times for lengthy conversations and his girls (12 and 15) were having trouble with their mom and fighting alot with her, which was upsetting him alot. Well, he revealed to me that I was the first lady that he had gone out with after his breakup with his ex gf of 1 yr (they broke up in March and we went out in June) and after our great conversation at dinner, he realized he wasn't healed from it and wasn't ready to date yet and had started going to counseling to deal with is issues! So I guess that is good since he said he wasn't emotionally healthy enough to date and realized that and some of his issues were still stemming from his divorce from 4 years ago. So really, I wouldn't want to get involved with anyone with so many issues still pending (I mean a few issues are ok).

I have had a few meets since from OLD but none have provided anyone I would care to see for a second time, except for tonight. He was very nice, funny, and a good conversationalist. He is a mortgage banker, so I seem to have come out of my rut with Engineers and have moved onto the financial type line! He said he wants to get together again, but I'm not holding my breath and if he is interested he can call me, since we have already talked on the phone a few times he has my number. He is younger than me by about 8 years, has never been married and has no kids and wants no kids, which I said I would not date this kind again, but we'll see... Again not holding my breath!

I'm trying to think of a nice way to not see this one guy that I have talked to from OLD but that I can't stand his whiney voice. I haven't met him yet. I'm thinking of ghosting and avoiding his calls, but should probably just be brave and tell him I'm not interested, but I don't want to hurt his feelings. I could tell him I got back together with my ex bf! I know I'm being weak!

So that is my OLD story. How have any of you handled the dilemma above? I feel it may be crueler to tell him the truth and he will ask for details why, because he is that kind.

I hope everyone has had a great summer so far....

Sunshine

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2005
Sun, 08-14-2005 - 10:02pm

Thanks Eric,

You said that you would rather have no reply to your wink or email than the rejection email or canned response, I feel the same way.

Since I told the whiney guy that I would call him later to schedule the meet and never did, he hasn't called me in a few days and so I think he may have gotten the message. I hope so anyway. Usually I am not cowardly, but he seemed like an ok guy and I just didn't want to hurt him I guess. But I *know* that I would never be able to get past that voice.

I hope you are doing good Eric. Have you had any interesting meets lately?

Have a good week...

Sunshine

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2005
Sun, 08-14-2005 - 10:39pm

Hi Lizzie,

I guess I have come to the point with online dating where I'd rather not go out with someone just for something to do, especially if I don't feel that I am interested in them. When I first started OLD, I'd meet with guys who I wasn't so sure about, but as time passed and I became better at this, I learned to do a lot of weeding. And the last weeding before the meet is the phone call to see how they talk, how they sound, and if they interest me or not. I have learned that I don't like certain voice types by doing this part of the screening process.

Sunshine

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