his profile is still up? whats the story
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| Sun, 01-21-2007 - 10:05am |
i have been seeing someone for a few weeks. we have gone on quite a few dates, had a sleep over with no sex (even though he tried) he took me to his friends bday party yesterady and introduced me to his friends. he was very touchy feely, kissed me a lot in front of them, etc. BUT his profile remains up. now, he hasn't logged in in a week and he used to log in daily but its still up. mine is up too but i want to take it down.
we spent the day together yesteday and had a great time. then we both went home in the evening, he had his son. i sent him a text msg and he sent me one back and he asked why i was still up. i said i fell asleep and someone called and woke me up. he said: "oh it really sucks when you are sleeping and someone from OLD calls to wake you" now he makes jokes like this a lot. as though he is fishing for info from me about my OLD status. finally i took a risk and wrote back "there are no other OLD guys for me. you are it. true story". he wrote back "i like true stories and i had a great time today" but didn't say anything back. so i wrote "are you pleading the fifth on your side"? he wrote "the keyboard is too small, tough to get all the info in".
i was so upset. i gave him the chance to tell me how he felt and it sounded as though he skirted the issue. doesn't it sound that way to you>? now i am so annoyed. maybe he feels funny talking about it with me, but i gave him lots of chances. part of me wants to put up all new pics of myself and see what he says. part of me wants to not date him anymore because i am scared i will get hurt. WWYD

Talk with him and tell him where you with this. Yes, he may not be ready to take his profile down, but at least you will know. This is too important to try to decipher over texts and emails, you need to have a conversation.
YG
YG
http://twodatediva.blogspot.com/
OK, first and foremost, you are not yet exclusive so while you might really like him and might not be seeing others, until you actually have that talk about being exclusive and what that means (and you actually have to discuss WHAT it means - not seeing anyone else, not sleeping with anyone else and taking profiles from ALL OLD sites down, etc.) then he has every right to have his profile up and to be seeing other people if that's what he wants to do. You are not b/f and g/f, you are not exclusive and you do not have a right to be mad or upset UNTIL you are. Once you are and if he were doing this, then yes, it is grounds for dumping.
Second and almost important, do NOT, do NOT, do NOT (repeat DO NOT) have a discussion like this over text!!! Jeeminy, hon - this is an important conversation to have with someone and text message is probably the very worst medium (even worse than email) to have a serious conversation about your relationship. If you are ready to see only him and to see if he wants to see only you, then the next time you see each other, say, "You know, text messaging was a really bad way to bring the topic up, but I meant it when I said I wanted to see only you. What do you think about that?"
Third, guys rarely "fish for information" or have ulterior motives for things they say like women do. You say that you think he was "fishing" for your OLD status. To me that is pretty doubtful. Guys are more straightforward than women for the most part. If/when they're ready, they'll probably just ask. He might have been fishing but I do doubt it.
Anyway, have the conversation with him IN PERSON. It could be that he is just not ready to be exclusive yet and in that case, you'll have a decision to make. But having a text message convo about it is NOT giving him adequate chance to truly respond to what you are talking about.
Hello,
When he said, "I like true stories" was that his way of agreeing with you??
Well stop hiding behind text message.
Don't have important conversations such as this through email or text message. That's cowardly. Talk to him in person next time you two are together about taking down profiles and being just exclusively dating each other.
Smile,
Deirdre
I had a similar situaution to yours. I had talk to this guy online for a month before we met and it was about 6 weeks later he said he didn't want to see anyone except me. Well about a week later I went to my profile off and his was still up and then he got on a couple of days later. When I asked him about it he ask if that was a problem. Long story short I'm back to dating.
Don't waste time with the ones that love the attention they get online.
I hear you on that one. Dating should be easy right?? WRONG. Men make it to different. You should be aloud to talk and say what you feel without having to worry if your scaring him off. Men don't say anything and we have a right to understand what we are doing. I am new to this online dating and it is alot of work LOL. I wonder if the guy I am seeing is he going out with others and why he is on line alot. Trying to understand. But to understand guys IS A FULL TIME JOB. I though it was just me. See I been on my own the last 3 years, was married for 18. So I kinda was confuess when my sister gave me a can of tear gas. And got to call her with my plans. I know she being a great sister like always. But dating is hard. So if you can have the talk without him getting scared do it. And if he can't handle a real talk then better you find out now before you are to into him. Best of luck.
My advice? Please stop putting words in his mouth and trying to second guess him. I realize you're nervous and scared of getting hurt; however, your imagination is running rampant.
You have known him for only two weeks, that is just the blink of an eye...it takes a LONG time to get to know anyone. Be patient and calm down.
So his profile is still up, so is your's...so what? You say he has not been on the sight for a week...but, you have been on the site much more than he has. I don't get where you're coming from. And you are thinking of adding more photos to your profile to see if he would say anything??? Sounds like you're trying to play mental gymnastics with him and set a trap.....don't do it!
I think you're being to nitpicky...relax and enjoy what you two have and stop fretting about it so much.
Sounds like he is proud to be with you or he wouldn't have taken you to the b/day party.
Stop pestering him so much, and stop creating all these imaginary scenarios.
If you keep giving him the third degree, you may drive him away.