Hit a bit of a snag...

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2005
Hit a bit of a snag...
4
Fri, 09-09-2005 - 11:41am
A minor setback in "The Challenge". I've been emailing Mr. Monogamy for a few days and we were starting to hammer out the details of the first meet tomorrow. I get an e-mail this morning saying "I read your email and thinking that this was the perfect gal for me, but I'm looking for someone who has weekends off. Good Luck".
To be fair, his profile does say that he's looking for someone who is free on the weekends if there is a connection. I currently work week-ends. I'm a bartender in a restaurant and have top seniority. My schedule is what it is because I made it that way as it suits my life at the moment. I can change it whenever I want, but I didn't feel the need to offer up that information prior to even meeting someone. Had we met and had we liked each other, I would have offered up that possibiltiy down the road. Now my profile clearly states that I'm a bartender and a free-lance costume designer. I don't know but doesn't that imply I'm not a 9-5er?
I was entering this in my dating diary and a couple questions popped into my head that I thought I'd put out to you all.
Is it possible that I just pushed the meet too soon for him and he just got scared?
More important: If this weekend thing is a dealbreaker for people what's the best way for me to address this (my flexibility) without sounding like...If I like you I'm willing to change my whole routine for you. Ironically I had been contemplating that move just before my last boyfriend dumped me, but we'd been dating for 2 months and I never even mentioned it to him nor had he asked it of me.
Anyway I could write Mr. Monogamy back and explain this but I'm not going to.
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Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 09-09-2005 - 11:50am

Do you actually SAY in your profile that you work weekends? Because I wouldn't automatically assume that based on what you've put here about your work.

Re "pushing" for a meeting...my feeling is that people are (or should be) online to MEET, not do the endless email thing, and if they are not willing or are "scared" to meet, then good riddance.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Fri, 09-09-2005 - 12:14pm

Why not email him and let him know?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2005
Fri, 09-09-2005 - 12:20pm
No. My profile doesn't say that I work weekends. I never thought it was neccessary to put that in the profile as up until now it's never been an issue. It comes up over that first cup of coffee and it's never been a problem. Had distance been an issue I would have gone into more detailed info during e-mails just to make sure neither of us were wasting time, and even then I may not have thought to include that yet, but this guy lives 2 miles from me and we'd talked about meeting at a very popular restaurant exactly midway. It would have been a 10 minute drive for him...considering in all other aspects I was "the perfect gal for him".
I suspect he got nervous and you're right... good riddance. That's why I didn't even consider writing him back to explain.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2005
Fri, 09-09-2005 - 12:28pm
I probably would have been more inclined to write him back if his email hadn't been so final. "I'm looking for someone who's free on the weekends. Good Luck." I think, had he brought it up as being a potential problem, I would have been glad to clear it up. It just came off as an easy out to me.


Edited 9/9/2005 12:30 pm ET ET by cheleinsf
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