Hmmm......
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| Thu, 10-20-2005 - 10:15am |
Hi all you good gals! I haven't been here in a while...(my boss has been around alot!)I am sneaking some minutes to ask for your advice. This board tells it like it is and I definitely need to hear it!
Picture it November 2001: At a bonfire....meet this really neat guy.....he calls me long story short, ended up in the sack with him about two weeks later. He calls the next day, we make a date which because of bad weather I had to break it (no babysitter).
February 2002: I had to put my dog down and was feeling really blue. Made the mistake of calling him...someone else answered the phone.....said I had the wrong number and hung up. Don't want to cause trouble. He shows up at my house a couple of weeks later. Just conversation (mostly me saying I felt really silly about the phone call)
Summer 2003: Went floating for a weekend...big group of my sister's friends (that's how I met him) and he was there. Hung on me the whole day and evening....then kinda just disappeared. (He does that doesn't say anything to anyone...just leaves)
February 2004: He has a really bad car wreck, was in the hospital for months and months. I sent him a small arrangement nothing fancy. He starts calling me in April from the hospital on and off just to chat(figure of course he's bored). Then right before he gets to go home he's was talking to me on the phone and said Hey, let me call you back) Never hear from him until.....
April 2005: Calls. Not much said other than how's things goin. Asked if I still had caller ID said yes, then he said well you have my number so you can call me. I was very proud of myself and did not call him.
October 16, 2005: Calls out of the blue again, this time on a cell phone. Fishes around to see if I'm seeing anyone. Teased him about how dangerous it was to "out of the blue" call someone because you don't know who will answer the phone.
There were some other calls during the above time period but I can't really remember when, but it's like I'm on a six month schedule with him. I know he calls me when he's not seeing other people. I somewhat have feelings for this guy...it was an instant sparks kind thing for me when we first me. But every time he calls and then just quits, it really gets me down. It's really hard not to call him.
When we met, I was going through my divorce...he had lost his wife in a car accident a year earlier.
I'm having trouble keeping my senses about me!!!! HELP!!!!!! LET ME HEAR IT GIRLS!!!!!!!!

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It sounds like a fantasy relationship. In other words, you build this guy up because your dates or get togethers are so infrequent. If he's seeing someone else or has a GF do you really want to get involved? That's kind of tacky. If he's completely single and has no GF and gets in touch every 6 months he's not serious about you, just teasing. Personally I'm at a stage where if a man is interested he asks me out a minimum of once a week so that we can potentially grow into a nice relationship, this guy seems to keep his distance for a reason and all the while in your head you're making it more than it is and even romanticizing it - not healthy.
My advice, if he's single and he does this tell him you're looking for something more permanent aka boyfriend not some Don Juan type who shows up when he's bored. Or cut him loose and do not return his calls. Unless you like this casual affair.
SP
I know exactly what you go through. I have one of those in my life but mine is the one that makes me shiver me timbers as i have posted before. So each time he returns to my life (only when HE feels like it) I am up as high as I can be in every way....then within a few short minutes/hours/days I drop like stone to the bottom of the pit once again. I have made a hard decision to disconnect myself from him entirely. I too have caller ID and I will NOT answer the phone when he calls again. I will not respond to his IM's when he pops in (on his schedule only). Okay so I have said this a million times before but this time I am going to do it.
I cannot tell you why they do this. I want to say he is scared....but there are so many other reasons that I choose to be in denial over so I can keep the fantasy alive instead of really being mature and say.."He just isn't into me". If he was he wouldn't be playing the disappearing act.
Sorry I couldn't be more help but do know you're not alone.
F
Don't ya just hate fantasy relationships! LOL An important point I need to make about myself (don't want you thinking I'm tacky) I don't see people if there involved with someone else. With this guy, I really don't know if he's involved! Which is enough reason to not call him so I don't. Thing is, he might show up at my door during my lunch hour today....I just never know about him.
If he calls again (or shows up, LOL), I've got to work up to telling him that I'm looking for something with more subtance to it than an every six month phone call. Come to think of it, I even told something like that during one of our phone calls, I'm an "either you like me or you don't kind of person.
My sister and her friend, who also know him, seems to think I scare him.
>Come to think of it, I even told something like
>that during one of our phone calls, I'm an
>"either you like me or you don't kind of person.
You wouldn't need to say this if he is into you. I agree with everyone else. Keep seeing him if all you want is sex and nothing else.
>My sister and her friend, who also know him, seems to think I scare him.
I wouldn’t even attempt to psychoanalyse him. It isn't that complicated.
What is so great about this guy that he has stayed in your mind for so long? Tell me all about wonder boy. I didn't know anyone was so great that someone would stay obsessed with them when they only call every 6 months? Is he a red-head? lol I think you just need to go out in public more if only to run errands because if you do this often enough you will see a few guys who are so hot that they will blow your mind and you will be thinking about their gorgeous faces rather than mister sporadic phone caller who is prone to car accidents and one-night stands.
R.I.
One more point.
Made the mistake of calling him...someone else answered the phone
Ho ho ho ho ho ho. Not you him. I think this guy is a sleaze, and you deserve so much better than this skank who goes from one one-night stand to the next.
I have no idea why you would even entertain the thought of this man unless all you are after is a fling.
He's unreliable and somewhat of a user, drifting in and out of your life at his convenience. No THANKS!
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