Hmmm......

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2004
Hmmm......
12
Thu, 10-20-2005 - 10:15am

Hi all you good gals! I haven't been here in a while...(my boss has been around alot!)I am sneaking some minutes to ask for your advice. This board tells it like it is and I definitely need to hear it!

Picture it November 2001: At a bonfire....meet this really neat guy.....he calls me long story short, ended up in the sack with him about two weeks later. He calls the next day, we make a date which because of bad weather I had to break it (no babysitter).

February 2002: I had to put my dog down and was feeling really blue. Made the mistake of calling him...someone else answered the phone.....said I had the wrong number and hung up. Don't want to cause trouble. He shows up at my house a couple of weeks later. Just conversation (mostly me saying I felt really silly about the phone call)

Summer 2003: Went floating for a weekend...big group of my sister's friends (that's how I met him) and he was there. Hung on me the whole day and evening....then kinda just disappeared. (He does that doesn't say anything to anyone...just leaves)

February 2004: He has a really bad car wreck, was in the hospital for months and months. I sent him a small arrangement nothing fancy. He starts calling me in April from the hospital on and off just to chat(figure of course he's bored). Then right before he gets to go home he's was talking to me on the phone and said Hey, let me call you back) Never hear from him until.....

April 2005: Calls. Not much said other than how's things goin. Asked if I still had caller ID said yes, then he said well you have my number so you can call me. I was very proud of myself and did not call him.

October 16, 2005: Calls out of the blue again, this time on a cell phone. Fishes around to see if I'm seeing anyone. Teased him about how dangerous it was to "out of the blue" call someone because you don't know who will answer the phone.

There were some other calls during the above time period but I can't really remember when, but it's like I'm on a six month schedule with him. I know he calls me when he's not seeing other people. I somewhat have feelings for this guy...it was an instant sparks kind thing for me when we first me. But every time he calls and then just quits, it really gets me down. It's really hard not to call him.

When we met, I was going through my divorce...he had lost his wife in a car accident a year earlier.

I'm having trouble keeping my senses about me!!!! HELP!!!!!! LET ME HEAR IT GIRLS!!!!!!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2005
In reply to: emma_b2
Thu, 10-20-2005 - 9:52pm
There's really only one reason men do this. It's to stroke their egos. When they're feeling lonely, bored or insecure, it makes them feel better to have someone to call. They know when someone is eager to hear from them and that makes them feel good.
The reason he does it is because he can.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2004
In reply to: emma_b2
Fri, 10-21-2005 - 9:41am

<<<..he had lost his wife in a car accident a year earlier.>>>

It can take years to get over the death of a spouse, especially a tragic one. Do you know if he ever had counseling? His fear of intimacy is what makes him disappear. Read the following and maybe it will help you to understand. Unless this man seeks help, he will be broken for a very long time.

http://www.suite101.com/article.cfm/3691/109011

**ID**

 

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