How to ask?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2005
How to ask?
5
Mon, 01-09-2006 - 8:09pm

I recent had a very nice man (he really is!) email me through lavalife.

Anyway, he said a few things that concern me - first, that he has a "hearing problem", and second, that his dad died last summer.

I've never met anyone who has had a parent die (at least at our age). How do I know if he's ok enough to be dating? And how do I find out how bad this hearing problem is? I don't necessarily care, but I'd like to make sure I don't have to learn sign language or something.


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
In reply to: lothiriel2000
Tue, 01-10-2006 - 1:48am
meet him for a drink. You will findout how bad his hearing is.
About his dad death it could be an accident or health problem but I would not be too concerned. We all are prone to it at one point or the other
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2005
In reply to: lothiriel2000
Tue, 01-10-2006 - 9:31am

I'm not really sure how a parent dying would have an impact on a guy's dating ability. If it were very recent, I could see not being up for going out, but it doesn't sound like it's *that* recent.

As for how bad his hearing is, I think you're just going to have to find out when you meet him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
In reply to: lothiriel2000
Tue, 01-10-2006 - 9:42am

I'm sure it was very hard for him to lose his father, but you know nothing about it yet.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
In reply to: lothiriel2000
Tue, 01-10-2006 - 11:45am

I don't think a parent dying almost a year ago will have a significant impact on his ability to date. Yes, it's a tragic situation, but life goes on and most people are able to cope pretty well with a parent passing away. If it were a spouse, I'd be more concerned, but it's not.

As for the hearing impairment, I agree, the best thing to do is to ask non-threatening questions of how he gets along with it and how it affects him. If you approach it from the fact that you are interested in learning about him and his life rather than "if you're really deaf, I can't date you!" kind of thing, then it should be OK.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2005
In reply to: lothiriel2000
Tue, 01-10-2006 - 7:40pm
You don't ask. You email him and correspond with him and find out what you can that way. As for his Father's death... we all have something in our past that might potentially make us not "okay enough" to be dating. I don't think that is for you to judge right now. If he is a nice guy, give him a chance, if only by email at first. I'm sure you will find what you need to know after a few emails. Good luck!