how to avoid stalkers

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2007
how to avoid stalkers
6
Sun, 08-08-2010 - 9:25pm

don't say your last name on your cell phone greeting even though the computer recorded voice says "Please say your first and last name"


I emailed with this guy for a month before we exchanged phone numbers.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2007
Sun, 08-08-2010 - 9:29pm
forgot to mention that we met only
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
Mon, 08-09-2010 - 9:21am
Yikes. Thanks for sharing. I think your post is a great reminder that, in the age of Google, we need to be extremely careful about what info we give out to others.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2010
Mon, 08-09-2010 - 3:58pm

A very good reminder of how Online Dating can be dangerous if we fail to continue to protect ourselves.

Good post!!

Sandy

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2010
Mon, 08-09-2010 - 7:45pm
Great post...sorry for your experience!
Ruth Bailey www.gethimtolikeyou.com www.personalquestcoaching.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
Wed, 08-11-2010 - 8:17am
Love the new avatar, Sandy!

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2009
Fri, 08-13-2010 - 9:44am

I don't do online dating anymore, but have an "in real life" story that fits in with this topic. I used to scoff at the advice not to tell anyone right away where you work. I figured, "So what if they know where I work?" I've always worked at a public place, and figured that any stranger who sees me there would know where I work, so why keep it under wraps? Well, I have learned why.

I met a guy at a bar and had a brief "fling" with him. Basically, I was interested in dating him, but he wasn't treating me the way I want to be treated. He was blowing me off for dates by not calling to firm up plans, then calling after date was supposed to have taken place with all kinds of excuses why he couldn't go out. I decided, "The heck with him...I am moving on." Figured I was just a "booty call" or that he was a player. No big deal...ended up meeting someone else (who I am still dating).

Well, shortly after I met and started dating my now-boyfriend, the other guy called me (he had blown me off that week for a date, and I decided that was the last straw - I didn't even try to contact him - that's when I decided "NEXT!"...went out and did my own thing that night instead, and ended up meeting my now-boyfriend), acting suspicious of me and wanting to know why I hadn't called him (because despite his behavior, when he actually called me, he'd try and convince me he really wanted to date me and have a relationship with me...whatever - words are so easy to say!). Anyway, I told him then that I hadn't waited around for him - I said, "You weren't acting like you were all that interested in me, so I moved on. We have no further need to be in contact now, so goodbye." Oh, no, he wanted to keep talking about it. So I told him I had to go, and that, no, I was not going to call him again. Thought that was it.

I ended up getting a new cell phone and changed the number because I still had an out-of-state number from where I lived previously, and wanted a number that was in-state. Well, apparently, Mr. Can't Let It Go had tried to call me about a month after I told him goodbye, and couldn't get through to me. He CALLED ME AT WORK!!! Asked my boss if he could speak to me, and said, "We're dating." Whaaaat?!?!?!

When I got on the phone (I didn't even want to take the call, but my boss insisted I handle it), he demanded to know why I hadn't called him, and why was I treating him so badly? Then, he wanted to know where my new boyfriend works, and proceeded to ask me all sorts of questions about him. I told him I was not talking to him anymore, not to call me anymore, and to please leave me alone. He finally hung up on me (after trying to argue with me for a bit...then I snapped out of it and asked myself why I was allowing this to go on) when I told him I had to get back to work, and no, I was not going to call him ever again.

So...now I know why we don't tell people where we work.

See, when I am making small-talk with people I've just met, I usually don't think twice about answering them when they ask me where I work. But I do now!!!

Edited 8/13/2010 9:46 am ET by cameragirl78




Edited 8/13/2010 9:48 am ET by cameragirl78