How Big of A Wedding....
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How Big of A Wedding....
| Sat, 04-30-2005 - 9:07am |
Would you like???
I thought of starting this post after reading about that woman that ran away in GA.
IMHO wedding planning is stressful let alone a large production like the one she was having.
When I got married the first time, I was only 18, but even then I did not want a big wedding. I've always considered them a waste of money and there's all that stress!!!
What do you guys think?

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I just woke up to find out the woman from GA is physically okay and in New Mexico. I'm completely disgusted with her though. What she put her family and fiancee through is just awful. I have read that they were having 14 bridesmaids and groomsmen. If that doesn't scream, PAY ATTENTION TO ME - I don't know what does. And THEN she runs off and gets even more attention. Crazy!
My dream wedding would be on the family farm in Iowa. I know it sounds hick but our front lawn is just beautiful and the landscape is one of rolling hills, fields of alfalfa, soybeans and corn and big oak trees peripherally located. It took me all day on Saturdays to mow that lawn on a riding mower. My dad is the consummate farmer and has taken his love of growing things to various gardens around the property. Martha Stewart could learn from him. I would plan my wedding on the day my dad would pick because I want to be surrounded by his gardens at the best time of the year. My bouquet would be from the cala lily garden. No bridesmaids, no groomsmen. This is gonna sound crazy but I love California cuisine since I lived there for 12 years and if money was no object, I'd serve that. I picture the lawn dotted with tables with umbrellas. I picture my family and close friends and just a relaxed atmosphere. What I most care about is the prospective groom, the ring, the dress and the party. I'd love to wear a dress much like Carolyn Bessette's but I'm not a stick so that needs thought.
Okay now I'm in dreamland. I think no matter how big or small the wedding is - it ends up costing way more than you thought and is more stressful than you want it to be.
For my first wedding, I alleviated a lot of the immediate stress by having it far, far away. At the time, I lived in Boston, and the wedding was planned for Boothbay Harbor, Maine. Since my family lived in Ohio and would have to travel, it weeded out the number of people who would be there. In fairness, I was 33 when I got married, so I wasn't held to the same guilty scrutiny or rules that a 24-year old might have been.
About 90 people came; we got married on a cliff overlooking the ocean and had a lobster clambake at picnic tables covered with red-checkered tablecloths. Since there were not a ton of attendees, we could afford to take everyone on a sunset harbor cruise with a blues band after the reception.
A lot of the guests even came up and spent a weeks' vacation there -- it was gorgeous, and, even with the long distance planning, stress-free. I look so relaxed in my wedding pics I wish I could use them for my OLD profile! (oh, wait, that would make them 10 years old...)
For my second? Immediate family only in a local restaurant that has a medieval stone-walled wine cellar and top-notch cuisine.
Although KitB's idea sounds awesome, too....
Tracy
Tracy and Lisa, your weddings (planned and actual) sound fantastic.
In our family, we tend to marry small and party large. One of my brother's wives (don't ask) was from a wealthy family and it was one of the fews times that pomp and circumstance were involved. There was lots of organization, but no heart if you know what I mean.
There are an awful lot of us, several generations and all close. So when I say *small* I mean venue not number of people. Last September I attended my nephew's wedding in Nova Scotia, on the Bay of Fundy. This is the place where she vacationed with her family when she was little. It was a beautiful ceremony on the beach with family and close friends.
So, back to me. I envision a one-place-fits-all: a hotel banquet room for the short and sweet I Do's and then the food and drinks start for the evening. Ideally on one of the Gulf Islands, where it's quiet and private. Sort of a weekend thing with golf, swimming, spa, etc.
I figure the only stress involved would be me finding a dress. What the he11 do I wear?!!
amjay
Well, I had a very small wedding -- in Las Vegas, with only a total of four people -- me, the bride, her brother and his wife.
I know a lot of young girls dream of a gorgeous, expensive wedding where they feel like a princess, and if they really are set on that, then by all means do it. However, I know at least two women who had *huge* wedding and later regretted it. One of them is a good friend from college -- her wedding cost over $50,000 (the dress alone was about $7,000). She later told me she wished they had used that money on a wonderful honeymoon, or even as a start on a house they had always wanted. She said she was so nervous that she barely remembers any of the wedding anyway.
I'm in the 'huge weddings are a terrible waste of money' camp. I hate excess in anything, I can only think about how many children living in poverty could be fed or clothed with that money.
When I got married, we had a very small ceremony -- about 50 people -- in my parents' backyard, then had about 50 more people for the reception afterward. My ex's very strong feeling was that the ceremony itself was a very intimate thing and that having acquaintances or distant relatives there -- people he didn't know very well -- would almost spoil its meaning. I understood what he meant and agreed. It was lovely, we had a jazz band and a buffet, kind of a garden-party thing.
If I get married again, I'd like to do it on an island, spend a week in some remote place having sex near the beach, then come home and have a party.
Unless I marry rich which is HIGHLY unlikely, LOL and have money to burn I’m eloping on a beach somewhere.
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