how do you all do it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2003
how do you all do it?
23
Wed, 05-11-2005 - 7:05pm
I don't know how you all do OLD over and over again while being rejected so much. I know you do some of the rejecting yourself, but it's the thought of going through this so many times where the other person doesn't even want to give you a chance. I really wouldn't judge somebody just from a coffee date. I personally don't think you can tell how a person really is from that. I suppose we're all different in our thinking but it all just doesn't seem right to me.
Just my thoughts on it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2004
Fri, 05-13-2005 - 2:42pm

That might be true, but then again you don't as often hear from the success stories. They're generally too busy to be spending lots of time on here. I know since I got hooked up (via OLD) I'm like that. :)

My point isn't so much about the techniques (meet quickly, don't IM, etc) that people suggest; my point is that I think you're not acting in a way that is good or healthy. I got the distinct impression that you weren't really into this gal but you went out with her anyway.

That's the kind of thing that leads to angry women posting on here saying "I met this guy who seemed really neat and we made out and had a wonderful conversation all night long but later he decided I was 40 pounds too heavy and he bailed out on me. Why do men treat women like that?"

Even now, it still doesn't sound like you were into her; you say "I have her a chance", which sounds to me as though she had to prove herself somehow.

Of course, this opinion is worth exactly what you paid for it. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Fri, 05-13-2005 - 2:57pm

NG,

The vast majority of my on-line dates have been unremarkable and not worth mentioning and they sound like most other stories on this board. I've met my fair share of flakes but I don't go looking for them. And besides, I've dated women for 6 months and then boom; they go nuts. I'm tired and it's the weekend so I'm done picking my brain trying to analyze why people do what they do. Perhaps I'll turn off my computer and give the on-line circus a break. But then again, perhaps I'll find another gal in a bar....

TT

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2004
Fri, 05-13-2005 - 3:22pm

Online dating is just another medium. There are plenty of success stories and plenty of unsuccessful stories. Me, I have met great guys through Match when I did it in the past, even though they never culminated into relationships (well, one kinda did but the guy got way way too serious too soon) I had a good time with most of them and still keep in touch very casually with a few of them.

I met a serious boyfriend that I dated for 3 1/2 years online, not on a dating site but on AOL back when chatting was new, this was about 8 years ago. We almost got married actually. I also had a serious boyfriend that I met because he was a Fedex delivery guy at my office and my most recent relationship was someone I met at a local bar on a weeknight and we started chatting over half price drinks (he was my favorite and broke my heart the worst). So, it just goes to show you really don't know when or how it will happen. Some people have great luck with OLD and some don't. I know OLD has its own set of issues just as everything does but I do think it has a reasonable success rate for bringing people together. I think after a certain point of being in person your odds of staying together are the same as most relationships regardless of how you met.

Dating in general can be a royal pain in the arse, it has the highs and it definitely has the lows. You could meet the guy/gal of your dreams on your way home from work tonight or you could meet them online in a week or a thousand other ways. It is the mystery and the what ifs that keeps everyone going.

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