How do you deal?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
How do you deal?
34
Sat, 03-05-2005 - 11:08pm
I have friend that is in a new, great relationship. I am happy for her and happy that she is happy. Every time I see her, she can do nothing but talk about him and their wonderful dates and all the things they have planned. But as my own love life has taken a recent really bad downturn and I have yet another guy that only wants to sleep with me instead of actually be in a relationship with me, it is so difficult for me to listen to all her blissful talk. I know I am being a selfish be-yotch, I really do know that. But does anyone have any tips on how ty deal with this? She is one of my best friends, but when I hang out with her, all I want do do is come home and cry.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
In reply to: vexer_hw
Sun, 03-06-2005 - 12:48pm

lg was right, this female must die!!

In the alternative, you need to be *busy* for her for a while until she becomes normal again.

Really.

amjay

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
In reply to: vexer_hw
Sun, 03-06-2005 - 1:17pm

lol. Yup, I know all the nitty gritty details of every darn thing that goes on in her love life right now - I won't nauseate anyone any more by sharing but there was a time last night that I literally rolled my eyes because of one more "change in topic" from something not him to him. I don't think she saw (I hope not) but it was one of those involuntary things. She has not had a relationship in a long time and her last one was really disfunctional which is why I am glad she's found a nice guy. But I just don't want to hear about it all the friggin time.

Well, it is tough to be "busy" when we share a garage and she can hear me through the walls! She knows when I am home so unless I plan to spend a lot of nights hanging out at the library, the gym (although that is not a bad idea) or some other place, it will be tough. I like my home - I don't want to have to stay away to avoid her!

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
In reply to: vexer_hw
Sun, 03-06-2005 - 1:24pm
Having a job that pays well is HUGE.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
In reply to: vexer_hw
Sun, 03-06-2005 - 1:26pm

Oh, I didn't mean busy as in out of the house. Be too busy to stop what you are doing to chat, that's all. Each time she starts into her self monologue, you are sorry but you simply must get back to what you were doing.

I will finally do what I swore never to do, bring Hollywood stories into real life.

There was a great episode of Sex in the City when Carrie was talking ad nauseum about Big and the 3 ladies finally arranged an Intervention!! Of course, all was solved within 30 minutes (with commercial breaks).

Funny.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
In reply to: vexer_hw
Sun, 03-06-2005 - 1:27pm
Eesh...I try not to do that with Ricky.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
In reply to: vexer_hw
Sun, 03-06-2005 - 1:52pm
Thanks Stacey. I do know that I am lucky to have a good job. So many people are unemployed or in jobs they don't like and I do pretty well for myself and I am proud of that accomplishment. I guess this is just not really where I imagined myself at 34 and half (today is my half birthday). That was another thing my friend managed to bring up last night. My group of 4 friends (kind of the Sex and the City gang except we have no Samantha or really even much of a Carrie) will do something "major" for the significant birthdays (those ending in 0 or 5) because it was getting expensive to buy gifts every year for everyone. So she brings up last night how "Hey it's one of your significant birthdays this year isn't it?" I said that this wasn't really how I had imagined myself at 35 and she said something about how she didn't mean to bring me down and I told her I had been down all week. She didn't comment on that and I think the conversation went back to... of course. Her bf.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
In reply to: vexer_hw
Sun, 03-06-2005 - 2:51pm
I went back to school when I was 29 and it took me almost 5 yrs to finish . I worked full time while attending classes and completing my internships. It's freaking hard but not impossible.

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
In reply to: vexer_hw
Sun, 03-06-2005 - 3:29pm
jh, same thing happened to me, isn't that funny?! Five years to do a 2 year program at night (enrolled at 40). So glad that's over with. Each of the courses for the new program I am in are compressed into two weekends. I'm finding that much easier.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2003
In reply to: vexer_hw
Sun, 03-06-2005 - 3:46pm

I understand! ALL my friends are in relationships except for two. TWo of them are engaged. While I hang out with them alot (couples) and it doesn't bother me, there are still points where I feel a lil sorry for myself.

I deal with it by reminding myself how great I am solo and that one day a great person will come into my life! Keep reminding yourself that and realize how happy your friend is. And that should make you happy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2005
In reply to: vexer_hw
Sun, 03-06-2005 - 3:50pm

I SO hear ya. I've recently had that crying moment, and it felt good. I am truly getting sick and tired of the ones that are only in it for the sex. Just because a chick is hot with a decent stack, and OLDing, doesn't mean she's gonna do it, ya know? Back doggie, back.

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!