How do you jump start your OLD attitude?
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How do you jump start your OLD attitude?
| Mon, 06-27-2005 - 7:12pm |
I have posted a while back and have been lurking for sometime now, and well, I need some assistance from my peers out there!! It’s been a year and a half since I’ve started OLD, and I must admit that in the beginning, I was fresh, excited, optimistic and energetic about the whole experience and the bountiful opportunities available to me. And, in the beginning I had some really nice dates. I met some really nice men, had really nice conversation and was actually hesitant to date one man too seriously because of the potential waiting out there for me. Flash forward to a year and a half later, and I’m worn out, bored, pessimistic and tired! I’ve been ghosted on (too many times to mention), stood up, disrespected and let down. I know that happens to a lot of us in the OLD world, but in my case this seems to happen more recently than it did in the beginning. And, I know a lot of it has to do with my attitude. Every time I go out on a new date, my expectations are so low, that I think I sabotage myself and the inevitable happens! Have any of you experienced such a slump in your own behavior with OLD?? If so, how did you jump start your attitude and change it to be positive again??? Do I just need to take a break from OLD or do I just keep trying and hope that my next date will be a positive experience? After all, it is a numbers game, isn’t it??? Any feeback, pointers or advice is greatly appreciated!

Let me know if you figure it out! Taking a break helps *somewhat*, but I posted a profile on a new (to me, at least) site yesterday after having hidden my profiles on Match and Yahoo for a couple months, and I'm already feeling jaded again, having had only ONE guy out of about 10 respond to my indication of interest.
I don't think, though, that having "low expectations" is contributing to you not having good dates. Low expectations is good, negative attitude is bad. I don't think they are the same thing, at all.
Sheri
Hey there. Yeah. I've found that taking breaks can help with the OLD attitude problem. I've beeing OLDing on-off for about 3 years now. (Currently I'm in OFF mode). I always inevitably reached the burn-out point. I'd take a break - anywhere from a few months to a year (some take shorter breaks).
Whenever I returned I felt really ready and optimistic about trying again. I always seemed to get more "bites" after returning from a hiatus. Granted I've never had a relationship thanks to OLD but it has given me good dating practice, got me out of the house once in a while, sometimes provided a new experience (like trying a new restaurant)and it also helped me develop a clearer understanding of what exactly I want from a partner and how much I'm willing to give.
I would say you have hit a time where you need to get away from OLD and take a break. When you have a down attitude, it can be felt by others and flows into everything you do, even possibly your work and other things in your life. I would just stop doing it for awhile, and you'll know when the time is right to start back up again.
Besides you'll be a fresh face and start with alot of attention again when you do come back to it. This getting down happens to mostly everyone at some point, so don't feel bad. Good luck to you.
Sunshine