How do you know when a guy bi or gay…
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How do you know when a guy bi or gay…
| Thu, 08-03-2006 - 10:35am |
.... is Pretending to be straight? I was having a discussion yesterday with a coworker and she said a gay male friend of hers was saying that a lot of men who pretend to be straight and are married or have girlfriends lead double lives. He said football players, lawyers you name it show up at these gay clubs.

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This may be an unpopular opinion - but i have found if you THINK Someone is gay - they usually are.
This is based on my having quiet a few day friends, who didnt come out of the closet till later in life - & everyone ELSE knew they were gay ... & they were in denial.
I love gay men. Some of them are my best friends (my Italy trip was with a gay couple of mine) - but I dont want to date them! lol
I once dated a guy who definitely had a touch of swish factor. At first, I didn't think much of it, but it gradually began to wear on me. It was the way he would cup his hands as he walked, or, when we were waiting for a table in a restaurant- the way he would shriek when the vibrating pager went off. He belonged to a gym known to be a popular spot with with gay men. His handwriting was feminine, and his general mannerism was soft.
Most of all though, it was his over sensitivity. I felt like I was dating a wussy boy, and that I was the guy in the relationship- it was so annoying. Curiously, he did mention being asked if he was gay by other people, but denied it up and down. He said his attraction was only towards women and that he'd only been with women. He is married to a woman now.
Not sure though. Sometimes I think he could have gone either way, he just didn't realize it himself yet. Needless to say, that's a road I'll never go down again. No more femme guys for me!
You said "Besides asking, and I ASK ALWAYS, and by spending time w/him he doesn't fall into any of my "don't like" categories, you can only hope that you have met a decent, straight, non-cheating guy."
Do you mean you ask a guy you're dating if he is gay/bi?? How on earth do you ask that w/o offending a guy?? I am really curious. I've never asked anyone that Q, I guess I have always assumed if he is dating me he is straight.
In response to the post, I think it can be hard to tell but if I have doubts (which usually arise in the first few dates), I find it a turn-off and that is usually the end of it. I think I have a pretty good sense of gaydar. Tho a long time ago a guy I'd been dating for a few months ago told me that he thought he was bi. I've lost touch w/him now but do wonder if he is gay. And then there was a co-worker who I was positive was gay - who later intro'd me to his gf. So yes, it can be hard to tell.
Easy, if I detect it and what I've said is, you're so cute do you ever get hit on by gay guys?
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